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Cashing It In: My *LIVE* WWE Money In The Bank PPV Coverage

Cashing It In: My *LIVE* WWE Money In The Bank PPV Coverage

by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™

Welcome to my *LIVE* coverage of the WWE Money In The Bank Pay-Per-View. Check back after 8e/5p and refresh the page throughout the night for my live thoughts and official results as they happen. For LIVE thoughts straight from the All-State Arena follow @TonyKegger on Twitter.

A video package is shown hyping up tonight’s main event between John Cena and CM Punk. This supposedly is CM Punk’s last match in the WWE and he promises to leave the company as the new WWE Champion. If CM Punk walks out of the All-State Arena with the championship then John Cena will be fired.

The announce team will be Booker T, Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Smackdown Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Kane vs Sheamus vs Heath Slater vs Justin Gabriel vs Cody Rhodes vs Wade Barrett vs Daniel Bryan vs Sin Cara

Sin Cara has on new silver and gold wrestling gear. It looks fucking cool. Everyone is coming out to the ring now. Cody Rhodes comes out in a new sleeveless leather hoodie. Ok, here we go! Nobody wastes any time as everyone starts brawling as soon as the bell rings. Kane, Wade Barrett and Sheamus were the only ones left standing in the ring after the opening brawl. Sheamus and Wade team up to take down “The Big Red Monster”, but Kane clotheslines both of them at the same time. As soon as Wade and Sheamus get to their feet, Kane clotheslines them both again, but this time over the top rope sending them to the outside. Kane picks up a ladder and tries to make his way back in the ring, but Daniel Bryan hits him with a baseball slide dropkick. Daniel now tries to get the ladder in the ring, but Justin and Heath give him a dose of his own medicine. Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel grab a ladder and play tug of war with it. Sin Cara tries to slide into the ladder, but they raise it a little which sends Sin Cara sliding out of the ring. Before he can do anything, the former members of The Corre ram the ladder into him making Sin Cara crash into the barricade. They then push a ladder into the ring, but Heath knocks Justin off the ring apron. Heath sets up the ladder nowhere near the briefcase. Justin climbs the ropes and grabs Heath by his stupid red hair and positions himself on the ladder. He kicks Heath away. Since the ladder is nowhere near the briefcase Justin starts hopping on the ladder moving it inch by inch. Daniel sees what’s going on and climbs the ropes.

He then hits Justin with a missile dropkick. Cody Rhodes comes in and rams Daniel into the ladder. Cody climbs the ladder, but is stopped by Sheamus who punches Cody in the back a few times. Cody’s still on the ladder though, so Sheamus sets him up for the High Cross, but Cody manages to escape. Cody attempts to hit Sheamus with his Beautiful Disaster kick, but Sheamus ducks and he hits Heath instead. Sheamus then hits Daniel with a forearm to the face. Feeling generous, Sheamus hits Cody with the same move. Sheamus positions Cody into a corner and throws a ladder right at him. Sheamus sets up the ladder in the corner. It looked like he was attempting to Irishwhip Cody into it, but Kane comes in, grabs Sheamus and Cody by the throats and sends them to the outside. Wade Barrett then attacks Kane from behind. There’s so much action going on in this match that it’s fucking hard to keep up. Wade tries to Irishwhip Kane into the ladder that is set up in the corner, but Kane reverses and sends Wade Barrett face first into a ladder. Kane grabs the ladder and tosses it on Sheamus and Cody. Heath attacks Kane, but he ends up getting fucked up for his troubles as Kane hits him with a sidewalk slam.

Kane goes up top, but is stopped by a kick to the face from Sin Cara. Justin kicks Sin Cara in the midsection and sends him to the outside of the ring. Daniel attacks Justin who whips Daniel into the ropes and DANIEL BRYAN FLIES TO THE OUTSIDE AND TAKES OUT WADE BARRETT WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!!!!!!! Not to be outdone, JUSTIN GABRIEL LAUNCHES HIMSELF OVER THE TOP ROPE AND TAKES OUT KANE!!!! Heath is now in the ring. Cody gets on the apron, but Heath knocks him back down to the outside, then HEATH SLATER WITH A CORKSCREW PLANCHA ON CODY RHODES!!!!!! Fuck. I didn’t even know Heath had the ability to pull that off. Anyways, Sin Cara in the ring now. He goes to one corner and runs to the next. He quickly scales the ropes and CROSS BODY ON SHEAMUS!!!!!!! HE MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE 50 FEET IN THE AIR!!!!! Daniel is back in the ring now. Sin Cara kicks him in the head and hits him with a cross body. Justin attempts to backbody drop Sin Cara, but he lands on his feet. Sin Cara runs towards Justin who tosses him behind him so Sin Cara dropkicks Heath for good measure. Justin sends Sin Cara to the ropes and Sin Cara bounces off and hits Justin with a springboard elbow in the face. Sin Cara then hits Justin with a hurricarana which sends Justin to the outside. Daniel now climbs the ropes and Sin Cara kicks him before he has the chance to do anything. Sin Cara climbs up and HITS HIS C4 SUPERFLY SUPLEX WHICH I CALL THE HOLY FUCKING SHIT SUPLEX BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! I fucking love that move. Sin Cara grabs a ladder, but before he can get it in the ring Wade Barrett kicks him in the head. Wade then sets up the ladder between the spanish announce table and the ring apron. Wade picks up Sin Cara, but Sin Cara pushes him off. Wade goes for a clothesline, but ends up hitting the ringpost instead. Sin Cara makes his way back to the ring and BOOOOOM MOTHERFUCKER BROGUE KICK BY SHEAMUS!!!!!!!!!!

Sheamus and Sin Cara are now on the ring apron and SHEAMUS POWERBOMBS SIN CARA THROUGH A FUCKING LADDER!!!!!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!! THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!! Stick a fucking fork in him, Sin Cara is fucking done. He’s twitching and everything. DAMN. That was an awesome spot by Sheamus. I must have rewinded that part like 20 times. Anyways, some medics come out and attended to Sin Cara. Sheamus grabs a ladder and rams it into Wade Barrett and Heath Slater. A stretcher is brought out for Sin Cara. Sheamus gets in the ring with a ladder. Kane slides in the ring and grabs the ladder. Kane punches Sheamus a few times and uses the ladder to push him out of the ring. Kane goes to the outside and slams a ladder on Sheamus. He then hits Heath with a big boot to the face. Cody is now in the ring with a ladder. So is Kane. Daniel decides to join them. Cody and Daniel put their differences aside for a moment and double team Kane. Cody and Daniel then start trading punches. Kane gets up and hits both of them with a ladder as Sin Cara gets stretchered out of the arena. Kane sets up a ladder and starts climbing. The Corre reunites and start beating Kane’s ass. Cody tries to climb the ladder, but they turn their attention to him and kick his ass too. Daniel then tries to climb, but they fuck him up also. Wade is calling all the shots and tells Slater and Gabriel to watch his back as he tries to get the briefcase.

For a second there it looked like Slater and Gabriel were going to let Wade get the briefcase, but they quickly turned on him. They both climbed the ladder, but Cody Rhodes pushes the ladder out of the way sending Gabriel and Heath crashing into the top rope. Cody hits CrossRhodes on Heath. Cody sets up the ladder, but is taken down by Wade. Wade tries to climb the ladder, but Cody pulls him down and hits CrossRhodes on him. Cody climbs the ladder but is stopped by Sheamus who hits him with a backbreaker. Sheamus climbs the ladder, but Daniel tries to stop him by grabbing his leg. Daniel rams Sheamus’ head on the ladder a few times and climbs over Sheamus as he tries to reach for the briefcase.

Sheamus gets Daniel on top of his shoulders and moves away from the ladder. Kane goes up top and DOOMSDAY DEVICE!!!!!!! OHHHHH WHAT A RUSH!!!!!!! That was fucking awesome. Anyways, Sheamus clotheslines Kane. He then mounts him and punches him. Sheamus kicks Kane then sets up a ladder that connects from one corner to another ladder which is centered in the ring. Sheamus attempts to slam Kane on the ladder, but Kane hits him with a big boot to the face. Cody comes in and gets chokeslamed by Kane. Justin goes up top, but Kane catches him and hits him with a chokeslam. Kane climbs the ladder, but Daniel tries to knock him off.  He can’t, so he tries to climb over Kane. Kane gets off the ladder and goes for a chokeslam, but Daniel grabs his arm and tries to lock in a modified LaBell Lock while still on the ladder. Kane backs the fuck up as Daniel kicks him. Daniel tries to cross body Kane, but is caught. Kane looks like he was going for a slam, but Daniel reverses into a DDT. Heath Slater now climbs the ladder, but Daniel is one persistent son of a bitch and won’t let Heath get anywhere near the briefcase. Heath grabs the back of Daniel’s head and drives him to the mat. Do you know what Michael Cole calls that? SPLAT!!!!! Heath then climbs the ladder again, but is taken down by Wade. Wade throws Heath into the corner and starts stomping him out. Wade goes for a splash, but Heath moves out the way. Heath goes up top, but Wade pulls his feet apart as Heath’s nuts meet the turnbuckle. Sheamus comes back into the ring, but Wade kicks him. Wade goes and gets another ladder. Sheamus and Wade work together and USE A LADDER TO LAUNCH HEATH SLATER OUT OF THE RING!!!!!!!!! Wade and Sheamus fight over the ladder, but Sheamus ends up Brogue Kicking Wade. Cody gets in the ring and he too gets Brogue Kicked. Justin goes up top and tries to hit Sheamus with a double axe handle, but he gets punched. Sheamus is now in control and is the only man standing. Sheamus sets up a ladder in the corner. Why doesn’t this retard just climb the damn ladder and win? Whatever. Sheamus hits Justin and arranges the ladders to his liking. Sheamus hits Justin’s head on one ladder then picks him up and sends him face first into another ladder. He then hits him with a Brogue Kick as he points up to the briefcase. Sheamus finally climbs the ladder, grabs the briefcase, but Kane quickly climbs as they trade punches at the top. Kane gets down and tries to pull Sheamus off as Sheamus kicks him away.

Kane then CHOKESLAMS SHEAMUS ON A LADDER!!!!!!!!! Kane climbs up the ladder, but everyone else teams up to take him out. Cody hits Beautiful Disaster on Kane. Wade then hits Wasteland on Kane. Justin Gabriel climbs on top of a ladder set up in the corner and hits a 450 ON KANE!!!!! Wade now fights Justin as Cody and Daniel trade blows. Wade grabs Justin and WASTELAND’S JUSTIN OUT THE RING ON TOP OF HEATH SLATER!!!!!!!! Wade slams Daniel and mule kicks Cody. Wade hits Cody with a pump-handle slam. Wade climbs up the ladder, but Cody pulls him down and clotheslines him out of the ring. Daniel climbs the ladder, but Cody tries to stops him as they both fight on top of the ladder. Daniel locks in a guillotine choke hold on Cody. Wade tried to climb behind them and get the briefcase, but Daniel realizes it and knocked Cody down as he elbowed Wade. Wade tries to Wasteland Daniel from one ladder to another, but Daniel fights him off with everything he had. Daniel finally knocked Wade down with a kick to the head. Daniel Bryan unhooks the briefcase and this one is over.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

I FUCKING TOLD Y’ALL!!!!!!! DANIEL FUCKING BRYAN WON THE MOTHERFUCKING MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YEA!!!!!!!!!!!! That was a fucking amazing match. Sin Cara getting powerbombed through a ladder was fucking insane. Lots of great hard-hitting action from everyone involved. I predicted that Daniel Bryan would win and I was right. He needed it more than anyone else since all the other participants would be fine without it, but Daniel would have been stuck in midcard hell. Now he has a year to develop his character or keep sick of his direction and change it for the better. Sheamus stood out as a serious force to be reckoned with. Heath Slater impressed me by doing more than I thought he would. I wish we could have seen more from Justin Gabriel and Sin Cara, but this match had a great mixture of powerhouse moves and fast paced action. When it comes to ladder matches it doesn’t get any better than this.

A video is shown from earlier in the day when Vince McMahon made his way to the arena with his lawyer and his douchebag yes man, John Laurinaitis, in tow.

WWE Divas Championship Match: Kelly Kelly (c) vs Brie Bella

The Bellas come out wearing green and Kelly comes out in gold wrestling gear. Eve Torres comes out with Kelly to watch her back. There’s this guy in the front row that is dressed as John Cena with a sign saying “I’m taking a break with the fans”. I thought it was funny. Anyways, I’m really hoping for a wardrobe malfunction here. This is your average Divas match. Hold on, I gotta take a piss, this beer is running straight through me. Ok, I’m back. Kelly wins. I’m sure I didn’t miss much. The Bellas argue about the loss as Kelly celebrates with Eve.

Winner and Still WWE Divas Champion: Kelly Kelly

This time could have been used for an Intercontinental or United States Championship match, but no, they let the Divas have a RAW match a day early. Nothing special happened and I’m pissed at Eve Torres for not attacking Kelly Kelly post match. Bitch is throwing off my goddamn predictions. I guess she wasn’t on her period, but it seemed that Nikki Bella was. After the match she kept yelling at Brie for losing the match and delivered a line so stupid it actually made me laugh, “But she doesn’t even eat. Look at her. How can you lose to her, she doesn’t even eat.” Well according to Randy Orton, Kelly Kelly eats a healthy serving of cockmeat sandwiches (with extra mayo) when she’s not out putting wrestling clinics with The Bellas and by wrestling clinics, I mean complete wastes of time. I think I would appreciate their matches more if they wore thongs. With Brie Bella out of the way, who the hell does Kelly feud with now? Rosa Mendez? Sounds like fun. Too bad Kharma had to go out and get all freaky deaky and get creampied and pregnant, because if she didn’t, this Divas Division might actually be about something other than eye-candy. I bet when Kharma’s babydaddy said he was going to creampie that ass, Kharma thought he was talking about a dessert, A FUCKING DESSERT, but I digress.

A video hyping up SummerSlam is shown. It takes place on August 14.

The announcers talk about the upcoming match.

A video package highlighting the Mark Henry vs Big Show feud is shown.

Big Show vs Mark Henry

Somebody’s bout to get they ass kicked, somebody’s bout to get they wig split. Beat em up beat em up, break his neck break his neck. I fucking love that song. Mark Henry comes out wearing blue wrestling gear which reminds me of his European Championship days. As soon as the bell rings Henry attacks Big Show, but Show comes back with some Ric Flair inspired chops which I thought were banned in the WWE. Show Irishwhips Henry, but Henry reverses and sends Show to the ropes. Show bounces off with a thunderous shoulder block that sends Mark Henry’s fat ass crashing to the mat. Henry rolls out of the ring. Show follows and clotheslines Henry. Show attempts to chokeslam Henry through the announce table, but Henry manages to escape. Henry goes for a slam, but Show throws him into the steel steps. Show grabs Henry by the hair, but MARK HENRY DROPKICKS THE STEEL STEPS INTO BIG SHOW’S KNEE!!!!!!!! What the fuck? Mark Henry with a fucking dropkick?!?! Ha. That was unexpected as fuck. Show goes back in the ring and Henry clips his knee from behind. I call that “The Nancy Kerrigan Special”, but I digress. Henry bounces off the ropes and kicks Show in the face. Henry kicks Show about two more times before going for a pin and getting a count of two.

Henry rams Show’s knee into the mat and then applies a half Boston Crab as he continues to work on the knee. Show struggles to get to the ropes, but eventually manages to reach them and forces the ref to break the hold. Show pushes Henry away using his big overgrown feet. Henry splashes Show in the corner. He goes for another splash, but Show kicks him in his flubby midsection. Show sits on the top turnbuckle and hits Henry with a shoulder block from the top. I’m surprised the ring didn’t break. All that accomplish though was Show aggravating the knee Henry had been working on all match. Show goes for a chokeslam, but Henry fights him off again. Henry hits his World Strongest Slam, but the Big Show kicks out. Another Worlds Strongest Slam, two huge splashes and this one is fucking over.

Winner: Mark Henry

After the match, Mark Henry grabs a steel chair and puts it around the Big Show’s leg. He climbs to the second rope and BOOOOOOM MOTHERFUCKER BIG SHOW GETS HIS BIG ASS LEG BROKEN!!!!!!! Big Show grabs his ankle and says “I THINK I BROKE MY DAMN FOOT” I can’t even begin to describe how funny this is to me. Medics come out and put his foot in a leg brace. Another medic comes out in a flatbed gurney and wheels the Big Show’s enormous ass out of the arena. Do the fans feel sorry for Big Show? Nope, they start chanting for CM Punk.

Well then. That match didn’t live up to my expectations at all, but I’m glad to see Mark Henry’s path of destruction continue.

Vince is shown backstage with his douchebag yes man, John Laurinaitis. Josh Matthews asks Vince if he resigned CM Punk and he says no. Vince then goes on to say that CM Punk is the biggest ingrate he has ever meet in his life. Vince offered Punk the most lucrative contract in WWE history and Punk turned him down. Vince tried everything he could do to keep Punk on the roster and he’s not too happy with John Cena since he was the one who wanted this match. Vince says that if Punk leaves with the WWE Championship then John Cena better hope that God will have mercy on his soul.

RAW Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Alberto Del Rio vs R-Truth vs Jack Swagger vs The Miz vs Evan Bourne vs Rey Mysterio vs Alex Riley vs Kofi Kingston

This should be a good ass match. I highly enjoyed the Smackdown match and I think this one has the potential to be better. Ok, match starts and everyone has a ladder. Del Rio is in the middle of the ring so everyone rams their ladder into him. Del Rio rolls to the outside, but Swagger follows him and hits him with a ladder. The faces then dump their ladder on top of Del Rio. These 8 man ladder matches are jam-packed with action, but I will try to keep up as best I can. Miz hits Rey with a ladder. R-Truth hits Kofi with a ladder. Miz then slides Rey out of the ring and Rey goes crashing into all the ladders that were dumped on Del Rio. Riley is now in the ring with Miz, Truth and Swagger and they all have ladders. Swagger charges at Riley and throws his ladder at him, but Riley gets out of the way then backbody drops Swagger out of the ring. Swagger tries to get back in the ring, but Riley hits him with a ladder sending Swagger flying to the outside. Miz then knocks Riley out of the ring by hitting him with a ladder which leaves Miz and Truth in the ring, both with ladders in hand. Miz and Truth start clashing their ladders into each other until Swagger knocks them both down with his own ladder.

Swagger throws a ladder out of the ring, grabs a mini ladder and tries setting it up in the middle of the ring. Kofi and Evan jump on the ladder and start trading punches. Kofi gets off and pushes the ladder, but Evan lands on his feet. They work as a team and hit Swagger with a ladder. They try to do the same to Truth, but he does a split and ducks the ladder. That was pretty damn cool. Anyways, they try again and this time they connect. They end up having a tug of war over the ladder. Rey uses the ladder as a springboard and huricaranas Jack Swagger out of the ring. Kofi sends Evan to the outside. Truth attacks Kofi from behind and smashes him face first into the ladder. Riley is now in the ring. He picks up Truth and SMASHES HIS NUTS ON THE LADDER!!!!! OUCH!!!! He then follows that up with a running leg lariat. Riley sets up the mini ladder and starts climbing. There’s no way in hell he can reach the briefcase using that ladder so I have no idea why he even bothered. Miz climbs the ladder and knocks Riley off. Riley then knocks Miz off, grabs the ladder and smashes it into The Miz. Swagger grabs the ladder from the outside and takes it out of the ring.

Swagger tries to get Miz to go in the ring with him and get Riley, but ALEX RILEY SUICIDE DIVES ON MIZ AND SWAGGER!!!!!!!!!!! Not to be out done, Truth jumps in the air and does a massive split, runs the ropes AND LAUNCHES HIMSELF OVER THE TOP ROPE ON RILEY, MIZ AND SWAGGER!!!!!!!!! Rey and Kofi climb opposing turnbuckles and DOUBLE CROSS BODY ON EVERYONE ON THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!!!!! The action is really picking up. Evan Bourne climbs a ladder set up on the outside and AIR BOURNE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!! That was fucking awesome.

Evan grabs a ladder and sets it up in the ring. He climbs, but so does The Miz. They both fight over the briefcase but Del Rio knocks out the ladder from under them. They both fall, but Miz screams in pain and it looks like his knee is fucked the fuck up. The medics come out and attend to Miz’s injury. Del Rio kicks Rey and then climbs the ladder, but is taken down by R-Truth. Truth then climbs, but so does Del Rio. Rey Mysterio and Evan Bourne climb over them. Ha, that was cool. Rey and Bourne pull of a double hurricarana sending Del Rio and Truth to the outside. Swagger sends Rey to the outside. Swagger now climbs the ladder, but Kofi springboards off the ropes and jumps over him as he reaches for the briefcase. Swagger grabs his leg and ANKLE LOCK ON THE LADDER!!!!!!! Riley now climbs up the ladder, but so does Swagger. They trade punches for a bit until R-Truth knocks the ladder over sending them both crashing into the top rope. Truth sets up a ladder in the corner and Rey comes from behind and kicks him. Rey smashes Truth’s face into a ladder. He tries to Irishwhip Truth, but Truth reverses it and tries to send Rey into the ladder set up in the corner, but Rey slides under it. Rey stands and throws a punch at Truth who ends up dropkicking the ladder into Rey’s midsection. Truth gets on the ladder and grabs Rey, but Rey pushes him off and Truth hits his face on the ladder he had originally set up in the corner. Kofi comes from behind and smashes Rey’s face into the ladder. He gets on top the top rope, jumps on the ladder and hits a Boom Drop on Truth. Kofi pushes Truth out of the ring and grabs one of the bigger ladders. Del Rio charges at Kofi, but Kofi pulls himself up using the ladder, so Del Rio ends up flying out of the ring. Riley tries to attack Kofi, but gets kicked in the face.

Kofi tries to set up the ladder in the middle of the ring, but REY MYSTERIO HITS HIM WITH A STANDING 619!!!!!!!!  That was fucking awesome. Swagger now tries to slide a ladder into the ring, but Truth runs up the ladder, flips himself in the ring and slingshots the ladder right in Swagger’s face. Truth tries to pull the ladder into the ring and gets 619’d for his troubles. Rey gets another ladder and sets it up in the center of the ring. Riley climbs the ladder and tries to stop him from getting the briefcase. Evan tries to intervene, but is knocked down.

At this point everyone starts setting up ladders and climbing them. Everyone tries to reach for the briefcase at the same time. Rey pushes Del Rio face first into a ladder. Rey kicks Evan Bourne’s ladder away sending him to the outside. Alex Riley falls off his ladder. R-Truth goes down. Kofi kicks Rey off his ladder. Kofi grabs the briefcase and I mark the fuck out because it looked like I predicted both Money In The Bank winners, but Swagger stops him. Both mean crash and burn. Miz limps his ass out from the back and climbs the ladder. Rey stops him in time and sunset flips him off the ladder. Rey grabs the briefcase, but Del Rio is there to prevent him from winning. They fight at the top as Rey smashes the briefcase in Del Rio’s face. Del Rio ends up taking off Rey’s mask. Rey covers his face as Del Rio pushes him off the ladder on to another ladder.  Del Rio goes for the briefcase, but his ladder ends up falling over. He tries again and unhooks the briefcase. FUCKING A!!!! Looks like the damn rumors were true. Del Rio is now the first man to win both the Royal Rumble and the Money In The Bank match in the same year.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

That was a good ass match. While not as hard-hitting as the Smackdown MITB match, it had its memorable spots. I wish someone other than Del Rio would have won though. It’s like someone stuck a rocket ship up his ass as he ascend to the top of the card. In my eyes, while I do enjoy the gimmick, he really hasn’t done anything spectacular in-ring wise. He hasn’t been in WWE for a full year and has already won the Royal Rumble and Money In The Bank. Maybe he has pictures of Vince McMahon sucking John Laurinaitis dick or something. We need to get to the bottom of this. I might just send Shaman’s Harvest to interview the Mexican aristocrat and find out.

Wrestlemania 28 is advertised.

Video package is shown highlighting the Christian vs Randy Orton feud is shown.

Del Rio is interviewed backstage. He says the briefcase is not his destiny, it’s a formality. Tonight he will fulfill his destiny so I guess that means he plans on cashing in. We’ll see.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Randy Orton (c) vs Christian

If Randy Orton gets himself disqualified then he will lose the championship to Christian so before the match gets underway Christian grabs a steel chair and slides it in the ring. Orton picks it up hits Christian with it and Christian is now the new World Heavyweight Champion. Naw, I’m just fucking with y’all, there’s no way Christian is winning that easy. I just missed most of this match because my wife was bitching about something and I had to go see what was going on so I will have to rewatch this one later. My bad, shit happens. So I come back just as Randy Orton kicked Christian in the balls. Orton got disqualified and Christian wins the championship. I’m not making that up either.

Winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Christian

Orton is fucking pissed and beats the fuck outta Christian. RKO ON THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck. It didn’t even break. Orton walks away, but turns around and hits another RKO on the table. He walks away again. The crowd is fucking hot and chant one more time. Christian sure as hell doesn’t look like a champion right now as he has to be helped to the back.

Skittles commercial is shown.

SummerSlam is advertised once again.

Massive CM Punk chants.

Video package is shown highlighting the John Cena vs CM Punk feud.

WWE Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs CM Punk

CM Punk comes out and he has on a new shirt. Weird. To me that would mean that he resigned, but weirder things have happened. The crowd is going nuts. Massive CM Punk chants. As expected, John Cena is getting booed like crazy. Both men get a formal introduction and now it’s fucking on. I’ve been anticipating this match for the last few weeks. I can feel the electricity in the air. When it comes to wrestling, it doesn’t get any bigger than this. They start with a little bit of chain wrestling. When Cena took advantage of the lockup a massive “You Can’t Wrestle” chant broke out. I fucking love it. Punk goes for the Anaconda Vice, but Cena reverses it. Cena with a shoulder block and more boos. Cena with a headlock  take down and more boos. Michael Cole brings up the Montreal Screwjob. So far this is a technical wrestling fest. Not much happening as Punk and Cena are still feeling each other out. I don’t mind slow build ups if they lead to an epic finish and that’s exactly what I’m expecting here. Punk goes for a cross body and gets a 2 count. Cena looks like he hyperextended his knee as he sells pain in his leg. I know, Cena selling pain, it rarely happens, but it did. Cena then suplexes Punk’s on the outside of the ring. Cena then hits a fisherman’s suplex in the ring. He’s not selling his knee anymore, big surprise there huh? Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk kicks out at two. Cena and Punk are now trading blows. Cena locks in an abdominal stretch. Cena in control. Cena goes for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle, but gets kicked in the face. Punk pushes Cena to the outside and suicide dives on Cena. Punk goes for another cross body, but Cena has it well scouted and moves out the way. Cena hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Cena goes for the AA, but Punk barely lands on his feet. Punk goes for the GTS, but Cena reverses with a gut-wrench suplex. Punk with two knees to Cena’s face followed by a bulldog. Punk goes for a spinkick, but Cena locks in the STF. Punk screams in pain, but manages to grab the ropes and Cena is forced to break the hold. Punk kicks Cena and gets a two count. This is a good fucking match. Punk goes for a cross body, but Cena rolls through it and goes for the AA, but Punk reverses into the GTS, but before the knee connects Cena reverses into the STF. THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!! Punk locks in a submission, but Cena powers out and hits the AA for a two count. I’m on the edge of my fucking seat right now. Cena goes for a top rope leg drop, but Punk reverses into a powerbomb for two. Punk signals for the GTS. No dice. Cena finally hits the top rope leg drop for a count of two. Cena hits another AA, this one with some force to it and PUNK KICKS OUT AGAIN!!!!!!!! Damn, I’m getting goosebumps watching this match. Cena sets up Punk on the top rope for another AA. Punk desperately fights it off. Punk with a top rope hurricarana. Punk hits another knee to the face. Punk hits a GTS, but it knocks Cena out of the ring. Punk rolls Cena back in the ring and Vince McMahon comes out with his douchebag yes man. Cena locks in the STF and Vince calls for bell, but before the douchebag yes man can do it CENA KNOCKS HIM THe FUCK OUT!!!!!!! Cena doesn’t want to do it that way. GTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 2 3 this one is fucking over.

WINNER AND NEW WWE CHAMPION: CM MOTHERFUCKING PUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vince is fucking pissed. He gets on the headset and demands that Del Rio cash in his Money In The Bank briefcase. Punk knocks him out, gets out the ring, blows Vince a kiss and leaves through the crowd. HOLY FUCK THIS IS THE MOST AWESOMEST SHIT I HAVE SEEN IN THE WWE IN A LONG FUCKING TIME!!!!!! I can’t begin to describe how fucking happy I am right now. Damn that was fucking epic and for once I got my money’s worth by ordering this PPV.

*Fades2Black*

  1. Dave In Providence
    July 17, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Yer a cock

  2. Capt. Smooth
    July 17, 2011 at 7:50 pm

    a doodle do

  3. Capt. Smooth
    July 17, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    I’ll be getting updates from forums and 411mania.

  4. Capt. Smooth
    July 17, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    Kinda hoping Cena wins just to see the smarks freak out.

  5. July 17, 2011 at 8:36 pm

    DANIEL BRYAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fucking called it.

  6. Capt. Smooth
    July 17, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    DB! Nice.

  7. togers
    July 17, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    Well shocked bryan won that…

    J u gonna post tonys tweets on here as well as i cant b assed to grt outta bed n turn my comp on

    also take ur time gettin this up my fone cannot cope with tjr traffic lol

    • July 17, 2011 at 11:02 pm

      TJR is crashed. I bet everyone is going insane right now. This was epic.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 17, 2011 at 11:03 pm

        Loser heel cheerers.

        • July 18, 2011 at 8:31 pm

          CM Punk is a face to me. He’s a fucking hero.

          • July 18, 2011 at 9:17 pm

            Did you see how Punk was acting before his match? It felt like 2008 CM Punk. He even brought back, “It’s CLOBBERING TIME!” Underrated moment of that match? Punk trying to find out who the “You Can’t Wrestle” chants were directed at. Punk was like, “Wait…Who can’t wrestle? Me? [BOOOO] Him? [YEAAAAA] Okay.” That was fucking awesome. Only Punk interact with a crowd that has 14,000 people. You usually see that at Indy shows that have only 140 fans.

            • July 18, 2011 at 9:35 pm

              Punk is an old soul. He would have fit perfectly in the 70s 80’s and 90s. I went from average CM Punk fan to HUGE CM Punk mark all in a matter of a year.

              • Capt. Smooth
                July 19, 2011 at 5:42 am

                The trouble is that Cena can wrestle. Even many on the net have been calling out those fans for saying he can’t.

                • July 19, 2011 at 5:51 am

                  He could and he proved it on Sunday. I think the problem is that he usually lets the other person do all the work and then makes his miraculous comeback at the end. If he did what he did at MITB every time he was on TV I bet the opinions of him would change. I’ve always said that he isnt as bad as people make him out to be though he has at least 8 moves not 5, lol.

                  • Capt. Smooth
                    July 19, 2011 at 5:57 am

                    If Cena had won the match with the FU the exact same way Punk won with the GTS, the IWC would bitch about it being “SuperCena”.

                  • July 19, 2011 at 2:00 pm

                    That was a great WRESTLING match. I completely understand now why Bret Hart vs. Stone Cold and so many other Bret Hart matches are considered five star matches. I wonder when was the last great match at a non Major PPV (WM, Summerslam, Survivor Series, RR, and KOTR). The last one that comes to mind is Undertaker vs. HBK HIAC at Badd Blood 1997.

  8. togers
    July 17, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    Ahhhh divas match time for a smoke break

    • togers
      July 17, 2011 at 8:45 pm

      Glad ur call of 10 mins for this match was wrong

    • July 17, 2011 at 11:03 pm

      Bout to have a celebratory smoke break right now.

  9. Capt. Smooth
    July 17, 2011 at 8:48 pm

    Funny Cena sign!

  10. Capt. Smooth
    July 17, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    I hope there’s not a spider on a ladder!

  11. July 17, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    I have never written this fast in my life. Will edit more thoughts after I’m done.

    • Capt. Smooth
      July 17, 2011 at 9:46 pm

      Next time, have your instant reactions in the comment box, then have a “review’ in another column. I can’t write like that. My head would explode.(pause)

      • July 17, 2011 at 9:56 pm

        Yea that’s exactly what I should have done. Fuck.

        • Capt. Smooth
          July 17, 2011 at 9:58 pm

          Dumb bastard!!!(kidding) 🙂

          • July 17, 2011 at 11:04 pm

            *Vicki Guerrero Voice* EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!

            • Capt. Smooth
              July 18, 2011 at 5:50 am

              Sorry, but you’re not as hot…lol

              • July 18, 2011 at 8:32 pm

                Lmao. Next time no play by play just opinions.

                • Capt. Smooth
                  July 19, 2011 at 5:44 am

                  Maybe, you could take the best comments and work them into a review column to come later. Honestly, I’m shocked at just how much info you put in there. Great stuff!

                  • July 19, 2011 at 6:08 am

                    Some people didnt watch the PPV so I try to do it so they can picture everything in their head, but thats alot of work. Next time the live review is the live review and anything I missed just wasnt important enough, lol. I do like the comment based review though. I dont know how I would set it up though.

                    • Capt. Smooth
                      July 19, 2011 at 6:13 am

                      Fill in the spaces where you might’ve missed writing something with a comment that would fill that hole.

    • togers
      July 17, 2011 at 9:49 pm

      See theres me thinkin ur slacking taking yout time getting these reviews up 🙂

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 17, 2011 at 9:52 pm

        I don’t think he’s slacking, just thought it may be a more lively comment section.

        • togers
          July 17, 2011 at 10:00 pm

          I was tryin to get someone other than us two to post in the comment section lol. Your idea wouls have been better

      • July 17, 2011 at 11:05 pm

        Only slacked on the Orton match, but I will fill that in later.

  12. Capt. Smooth
    July 17, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    Tony would’ve been here, but he’s at the PPV. Lucky fuck!

    • July 17, 2011 at 11:06 pm

      I’m sure he will be doing laundry tonight because I’m positive he just jizzed in his pants for that finish.

  13. togers
    July 17, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    Has he done any twitter updates?

    • Capt. Smooth
      July 17, 2011 at 10:06 pm

      Didn’t know he was on twitter. I’ll just check out his review on here or his site.

    • July 17, 2011 at 11:06 pm

      A few here and there. I think he might write something about the live experience, I’m not sure, but I hope so.

  14. July 17, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    I plugged this twice on TJR and both those comments were erased so now it’s fucking on. I refuse to be treated like a second rate citizen and if they thought I was bad before when I was speaking the truth its about to get real fucking ugly when I go on full on attack mode. They have 24 hours to fix this… or else.

  15. togers
    July 17, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    Dam listen to that crowd

  16. Capt. Smooth
    July 17, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    Knew Punk couldn’t do it himself.

    • July 17, 2011 at 10:52 pm

      He did do it himself. CM PUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 17, 2011 at 10:54 pm

        No, he didn’t. We don’t know whether he would’ve tapped or not. And all the Punk fans act like he actually did something. Losers! And I’m not sorry about that. A clean win would’ve been better, but instead, we got dickhead Vince.

        • July 17, 2011 at 11:08 pm

          Nobody told Cena to break the move. CM Punk leaves on his own terms and Cena gets fired. This is like Christmas all over again.

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 18, 2011 at 5:54 am

            Vince called for the bell. If Cena hadn’t gottenin Vince’s face, you all would’ve had tantrums, despite the match being great. Punk is a Punk(like Vince said, but Vince still sucks) If this is “like Christmas all over again”, that’s a pretty lame Christmas.

            • July 18, 2011 at 8:33 pm

              The best present comes tonight when John Cena gets FIRED!!!!!!!!!

              • Capt. Smooth
                July 19, 2011 at 5:46 am

                Well, it looks like Christmas didn’t come after all. *evil laugh*

                • July 19, 2011 at 5:57 am

                  I know right? lol Another wrench was thrown in the WWE machine though. Interesting stuff for sure.

                  • Capt. Smooth
                    July 19, 2011 at 6:00 am

                    True, and TERRIFIC acting.

  17. Capt. Smooth
    July 17, 2011 at 10:51 pm

    And he’s a chicken-shit.

  18. togers
    July 17, 2011 at 10:51 pm

    What a fuckin match….enough said

    • July 17, 2011 at 10:53 pm

      I cant fucking wait for RAW. NO MORE CENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 17, 2011 at 10:55 pm

        If you say so.

  19. Diggers
    July 17, 2011 at 10:57 pm

    i gotta say i wish i had money for this PPV

    • July 17, 2011 at 11:10 pm

      I only got this and Wrestlemania this year. Last year I got very single except TLC I think. This in my honest opinion was waaaaay better than WM27.

  20. Chadam
    July 17, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    Best WWE ppv ever

    • July 17, 2011 at 11:11 pm

      The ending sure did make it feel like it. RAW is going to be insane tomorrow.

      • Chadam
        July 17, 2011 at 11:17 pm

        I was worried the “what can happen next” aspect would be gone after tonight, but i think its stronger than it was before the damn PPV!

        • July 17, 2011 at 11:21 pm

          I love not knowing what will happen next. For the last few years WWE has been too predictable. This was a historic PPV. CM Punk, damn, I still cant fucking believe it.

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 18, 2011 at 5:57 am

            It would’ve been “unpredictable” whether or not this had happened. The IWC has been saying they didn’t know what was going to happen for the last few weeks. It didn’t matter.

            • July 18, 2011 at 8:34 pm

              Yes it did matter. That was the best PPV ending EVER!!!!!

              • Capt. Smooth
                July 19, 2011 at 5:48 am

                I’ll take Eddie winning the title.

                • July 19, 2011 at 5:56 am

                  That was a great moment, but CM Punk’s win was monumental and will change WWE forever if some of the stuff I am reading is true.

                  • Capt. Smooth
                    July 19, 2011 at 5:59 am

                    I’ll still take Eddie, cause that was his first title and Lesnar was a lot more “super” than Cena.

                    • July 19, 2011 at 6:02 am

                      Lesner never hulked up and he was a legit bad ass. Cena, ever since The Marine he has never been the same.

  21. Diggers
    July 17, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    if i had known you were doing this live also i would have came over sooner i saw Ur posts on TJR and decided i was tired of website lag I’ll check this place out more often

    • Chadam
      July 17, 2011 at 11:05 pm

      Yeah TJR crashed a few times. He needs to invest in more bandwidth if he still wants rights to be an asshole.

    • July 17, 2011 at 11:15 pm

      The more people checkout things like this the more often I would do it. I’m not as good with the live stuff though since I spend too much time being distracted and marking out, but I try, lol. The final version should be waaaaay better.

  22. Capt. Smooth
    July 17, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    G’night.

    • July 17, 2011 at 11:18 pm

      Night Capt. Try not to be too mad, I’m sure Cena will find a job somewhere flipping burgers 🙂

      • July 17, 2011 at 11:57 pm

        They made him look stupid. It’s like he didn’t want to keep the title.

        • July 18, 2011 at 12:07 am

          He wanted to do it the right way so I can respect that.

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 18, 2011 at 5:58 am

            That’s more important.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 18, 2011 at 5:58 am

        He could get a job at Wendy’s with Slater.

        • July 18, 2011 at 8:35 pm

          Slater doesn’t flip the burgers, he’s the mascot.

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 19, 2011 at 5:49 am

            No, they actually attach Slater to the sign, so he works there.

            • July 19, 2011 at 5:55 am

              Doesn’t matter now Cena didn’t get fired 😦

              • Capt. Smooth
                July 19, 2011 at 5:57 am

                There There. Want some juice and a cookie?

                • July 19, 2011 at 6:01 am

                  Actually that would go great with this wake and bake.

                  • Capt. Smooth
                    July 19, 2011 at 6:02 am

                    HAHAHAHA!

  23. togers
    July 17, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    You watch the figures for raw skyrocket now….neway time for 2 hours sleep before work..nice review so far J will reread 2moro wheb uve edited it

  24. Diggers
    July 17, 2011 at 11:22 pm

    i expect live stuff to be sloppy when you go back and rework it it’ll most likely be a good read i have bookmarked this page and shall check out your final version when you get it done

    • July 17, 2011 at 11:30 pm

      Cool. I might end up reviewing RAW too. There’s some good stuff on here, but the JCITY hate prevents people from realizing that.

  25. July 17, 2011 at 11:22 pm

    Chadam :
    Yeah TJR crashed a few times. He needs to invest in more bandwidth if he still wants rights to be an asshole.

    You speak the truth.

    • July 17, 2011 at 11:31 pm

      LMMFAO. Hey Shaman, I think I’m legit banned from TJR. I didn’t even do anything bad today. This is a fucking conspiracy.

      • July 17, 2011 at 11:40 pm

        Yeah he’s been rude to me lately too. I don’t know what his problem is. I commented and plugged this site, so we’ll see what happens.

        Maybe he’s realizing you’re better than him.

        • July 17, 2011 at 11:44 pm

          I guess my stuff went straight to the spam folder. I bet AJ did that when I plugged in the PPV discussion post so no anti TJR blog. It would have been epic though. Lol. I need a vacation soon.

          • July 17, 2011 at 11:52 pm

            I bet LT hacked TJR and did it.

            • July 17, 2011 at 11:55 pm

              LT, lmao. I should take him off my spam folder so I can have someone to whoop on when I get bored.

              • July 18, 2011 at 12:04 am

                I was reading your formspring yesturday and he’s really obsessed with you. I think he’s mentally ill.

  26. July 17, 2011 at 11:27 pm

    – Great to see Daniel Bryan win MITB, didn’t see that coming
    – Henry destorying Show was great, i always laugh at Show selling injuries though, it’s hilarious
    – Del Rio winning is predictible and dissapointing to me, but they love him so there’s nothing I can do
    – Christian is World Champ!
    – Punk winning is cool. I think he seemed a little off though, but the crowd made the match, he’ll be on Raw tomorrow

    • July 17, 2011 at 11:33 pm

      Punk should stay off RAW for a few weeks and only appear via satalite from Ring Of Honor or some other Indy promotions making fun of Vince and if Cena wants his job back then he needs to hunt Punk down and get the title back.

      • Chadam
        July 17, 2011 at 11:49 pm

        I hope ROH gets involved somehow.

        • July 17, 2011 at 11:58 pm

          ROH guys won tonight with Daniel Bryan and CM Punk. Everyone in the IWC is happy right now and I dont think I have ever seen everyone agree on something like they are tonight. This was historic. I will never forget this moment.

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 18, 2011 at 6:02 am

            Fuck the stereotypical IWCers! They’ve ruined the wrestling experience.

            • Capt. Smooth
              July 18, 2011 at 6:03 am

              Cool for DB. At least he was a face.

              • July 18, 2011 at 8:38 pm

                Lmmfao. While some aspects do indeed get ruined, I enjoy having an outlet to vent and seeing that I’m not the only one who feels a certain way about things makes me think that maybe just maybe I’m not losing my damn mind.

                • Capt. Smooth
                  July 19, 2011 at 5:51 am

                  Siding with the IWC means you’re not losing your mind? We’re in trouble then. 🙂

  27. Mike Brazil
    July 17, 2011 at 11:39 pm

    Best pay per view I’ve seen in years. Congratulations to Punk and Christian. I will watch Raw and Smackdown this week. Cena did well, I’m shocked.

    • July 17, 2011 at 11:47 pm

      I was surprised with Cena too. He actually wrestled. CM Punk deserved that shit man. He took like 3-4 AA’s and a few STF’s and he still won.

  28. TKO
    July 17, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    Real talk though…crazy ppv for WWE standards. they try and give us sprinkles of greatness but d@@@m MAN. My man Shaman did the same shit I’m about to do
    -Daniel Bryan won MITB. I wanted him to win but picked Cody because I knew WWE wouldn’t allow that. I’ glad I was wrong, that is a worth it victoy
    -Mark Henry beat Big Show clean…we did it!
    -I also was disappointed to see Del Rio win. It was predictable. He has #1 contender status but after the results of the show, I don’t mind it because he DIDNT cash it in
    -Everything about the main event has been said. I enjoyed it. Punk did seem a little off. The crowd was a little on edge but the drama unfolded to perfection. The end was one of those moments that dont happen anymore. A REASON TO TUNE INTO RAW OTHER THAN IT JUST BEING ON AND NORMAL FOR MY MONDAY. It feels important again and I will shutup

    -And John Cena held his own, I never was a hater. I made that little song but fuck it, he put on for the company. He’s had a tough career. Sure he won all these titles and is the golden boy. But he rarely gets to enjoy it with mutual smiles. I never did and will never boo him. BUT “We See You” muthafucka, CM PUNK BITCH

    • July 18, 2011 at 12:05 am

      People thought I was crazy when I picked Daniel Bryan to win, but he needs it while everyone else would be fine without it. Sin Cara got fucked up in that match though. We might not see him for a while. Mark Henry is on beast mode right now. Christian needs to watch his back because Orton is coming for that ass and Sheamus and Henry are not too far behind. Del Rio winning was wack. Like you said, too predictable. I thought Kofi had it for a second. The main event, damn. I can’t wait to see that match again. Cena really tried to beat Punk with everything he had, but I’m glad he didn’t. Raw is going to be must see tv. I know, I know, I would watch it regardless, but damn this has never been done before.

      • July 18, 2011 at 8:30 am

        I really thought Rey was winning it for a second. That a few seconds after I thought Miz was gonna win it.

  29. July 17, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    After I watch the news I will rewatch the PPV and fill in all the blanks. Hopefully this inspires me to get back on my PPV shit. Lots of emails and other things to sort through too. CM Punk, I still can’t believe it. WWE is in chaos right now and I’m loving every second of it.

  30. July 17, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    I loved Cena punching out Laurinitis (close enough).

    • July 18, 2011 at 12:17 am

      I call him the Yes Man.

      • July 18, 2011 at 8:29 am

        McMahon punched the douchebag yes man after the PPV went off the air.

        • July 18, 2011 at 8:40 pm

          That’s awesome. They should have a hardcore match on RAW.

          • July 18, 2011 at 9:39 pm

            Did you see the big fucking bruise on Mr. Yes Man’s face? I’m surprised the punch isn’t a WWE.com exclusive yet.

            • July 19, 2011 at 4:37 am

              Fuck yea. He got punched for real. I guess no one thought him how to “fall right” lol,

    • TeaseNuts
      July 18, 2011 at 1:28 am

      New to the site. Coming over from the TJR plug. Man, that site takes itself too seriously.

      Loved the PPV and the review. The best part is that Cena won’t be needing to be calling out the Rock anymore. There’s a good chance he could be making a lot of money (ie PPV buys) working with CM Punk. I say keep Cena off of TV for at least a month. Please, give us a break. A lot of options, but if Cena is champ at the end of tomorrow’s Raw, I will probably have to buy a new TV and window.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 18, 2011 at 6:06 am

        And you say TJR takes itself too seriously?

        • July 18, 2011 at 8:42 pm

          The most likely scenario is vacating the title and having a tournament for a new championship. Then CM Punk comes back and says he’s the real champion and they end up having a title unification match.

    • Capt. Smooth
      July 18, 2011 at 6:06 am

      Epic!

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 18, 2011 at 6:07 am

        That was for Shaman.

  31. July 18, 2011 at 1:21 am

    Actually Heath Slater was decent tonight. He probably spent more time in the match than anyone else.

    • July 18, 2011 at 4:54 pm

      the Smackdown ladder match was really good. Unfortunately it will end up being a “lost classic” because of the Cena-Punk match but it was one of the best PPV opening matches in awhile I bet. The great part of the match was that all of the spots were well executed. I don’t recall any botches.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 18, 2011 at 4:57 pm

        Happy for DB.

        • July 18, 2011 at 8:43 pm

          Better than last years Smackdown MITB. I don’t recall botches either. The RAW match had a few minor botches from R-Truth.

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 19, 2011 at 5:52 am

            Saw spiders.

            • July 19, 2011 at 6:04 am

              Lol. I don’t think he knew what the hell he was talking about when speaking on phobias.

              • Capt. Smooth
                July 19, 2011 at 6:07 am

                Loved the “Little Jimmy” chants last night.

                • July 19, 2011 at 6:17 am

                  Fuck the Ice Cream Bars WWE should sell regular Ice Cream with Little Jimmies.

  32. David
    July 18, 2011 at 1:53 am

    Really enjoyed Bryan winning the money in the bank briefcase. He really deserves it. Was hoping for someone other than ADR win the MITB. Glad Christian won the title glad Henry won. Always been a fan of ol Mark. And I am ecstatic about Punk winning the title simply because it was so unpredictable ….. yet soooo predictable. All around good show. And J what the hell is going on between The Infamous Crew and TJR? Its insane but I can feel the tension over here. Why don’t you guys turn it into a “work” cut promos, and have dueling articles for fun. Keep it fun. But I do think some of the bloggers over there take themselves a little too seriously. And do get upset if people disagree with the main standard set by the sheep master.

    • July 18, 2011 at 8:49 pm

      No tension. AJ hates me because I owned his ass in front of all his little fans so he erased all my comments I ever left on Headlines and asked John to ban me from anything he writes. He had up the PPV discussion before the PPV and I left a plug which he erased. The little fucker holds such a grudge that he used his administrative powers on that post to put my IP address in the spam folder thus any comments I left didn’t appear. I thought I was banned for a second, but everything is ok I guess. John’s cool, I just didn’t like the fans being called idiotic doofuses last week and maybe acted prematurely with my rant, but yea, AJ hates my guts and if he ever ran TJR I would be banned forever, lol.

  33. Mr.Redlight
    July 18, 2011 at 3:02 am

    i know this is off topic but i just turned twenty one a minute ago fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and best ppv in years!

    • Capt. Smooth
      July 18, 2011 at 6:08 am

      Happy B-day, Red!!!

      • Mr.Redlight
        July 18, 2011 at 4:44 pm

        thanks smoooth!

        • Capt. Smooth
          July 18, 2011 at 4:47 pm

          Welcome!

    • July 18, 2011 at 8:50 pm

      HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now go get fucked up and fuck a few bitches.

  34. togers
    July 18, 2011 at 6:22 am

    http://yfrog.com/kkb09zyj

    that it fucking awesone…..J u gotta use that pic

    second just rewatched the match and when cena caught punk off the top rope rolled through to the aa then counter to the gts countered to the stf was an incredible sequence

    • July 18, 2011 at 8:53 pm

      I just seen that on his Twitter. Punk is just too fucking awesome. I haven’t been a fan of someone like this since the Attitude Era.

  35. July 18, 2011 at 6:56 am

    IT was an awesome PPV!

  36. July 18, 2011 at 9:43 am

    John Canton is reporting that Sin Cara is suspended for 30 days. Drug violation.

    • July 18, 2011 at 10:37 am

      What the hell can John Canton report? It’s not like he works there. I never read anything about that.

      But it it’s true I find it hilarious, I bet Triple H gave him roids and called them muscle medicine.

      • July 18, 2011 at 12:15 pm

        I’m watching a replay of the event right now. RAW MitB match just ended. Can’t wait to see WHC match and Cena-Punk. I’ll start writing my live review when the PPV is over.

    • July 18, 2011 at 8:54 pm

      Yea, anabolic steroids he brought from Jeff Hardy.

  37. July 18, 2011 at 11:04 am

    Check out my one, click name!

    BTW J, how long does it take for you to do these?

  38. Capt. Smooth
    July 18, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    Tony Kegger :
    John Canton is reporting that Sin Cara is suspended for 30 days. Drug violation.

    I’m hearing he may never come back.

    • Mr.Redlight
      July 18, 2011 at 4:45 pm

      is it bad i wont feel sad if he gone?

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 18, 2011 at 4:49 pm

        It is, because we were barely getting to see what he could do in the ring. He had been getting better at the WWE style. I bet he’s really Juan Cena.

      • July 18, 2011 at 4:51 pm

        I hope Sin Cara does come back and he will come back. He’s Triple H’s new Sheamus.

        Yesterday was the first time I saw him and I was impressed. If he botched at all, I didn’t notice it. The only people who really notice botches are those who look for them. Like that “botched” finish to the RAW MitB ladder match. How do we know for sure Del Rio didn’t mean to fall off the ladder? Maybe he didn’t mean to but does that make it a botch. Ladders are not exactly stable when there are two guys on it trying to knock each other off. I’m surprised unexpected ladder falls don’t happen more often.

        • Capt. Smooth
          July 18, 2011 at 4:56 pm

          True about the people who notice botches being the ones who look for them.

          • Mr.Redlight
            July 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm

            as long as they arent absolute failure botches i look past them. That whole del rio thing was a freak accident that neither of them could have fixed. To me it didnt hurt the match at all. Hell it pretty much showed how dangerous ladder matches can be because anything can happen

            • Capt. Smooth
              July 18, 2011 at 7:04 pm

              Yeah, some botches can help get over how danferous a match is.

              • Capt. Smooth
                July 18, 2011 at 7:04 pm

                “dangerous”

                • July 18, 2011 at 8:56 pm

                  He’ll be back. They spent too much money to bring him to the WWE not to bring him back.

  39. July 18, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    Capt. Smooth :

    Tony Kegger :
    John Canton is reporting that Sin Cara is suspended for 30 days. Drug violation.

    I’m hearing he may never come back.

    Where are you people hearing this? Link please.

    WTF did he do heroin or something? He’s HHH’s golden boy, he’ll be back ASAP.

    • July 18, 2011 at 6:09 pm

      Ok found it on NoDQ, I should use that, it’s better than Rajah.

      • July 18, 2011 at 6:31 pm

        Haha it was roids, I didn’t like him much anyways.

      • July 18, 2011 at 6:31 pm

        WWE.com started an injury angle saying Sin Cara is out at least four weeks with an injury. He’ll be back.

        • Capt. Smooth
          July 18, 2011 at 7:06 pm

          He probably thought he had to bulk up so he could do the C4 off the top rope to larger wrestlers.

          • July 18, 2011 at 8:58 pm

            It’s on all the news sites. Sin Cara getting powerbombed through the ladder was fucking awesome though.

            • July 18, 2011 at 9:37 pm

              It was. I want to call it the best spot of the night but there were so many mark out moments last night. It was one of the two “holy shit” moments. Evan Bourne had the other one.

              • July 19, 2011 at 4:39 am

                I prefer the powerbomb for sheer brutality and Sin Cara sold it well with the twitching. I could feel his pain through the TV.

  40. July 18, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    J…I’m writing my MITB Fan Report. I could have it done by tonight. It’s looking good so far. I’m at 1800 words right now and I won’t be shocked if I reach 3K because I haven’t even started the WHC or Cena-Punk match yet.

  41. July 18, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    I just realized something…CHICAGO HAS A CHAMPION AGAIN! Finally…the stupid Cubs and Sox aren’t getting it done and the Bulls, Bears, and Hawks all choked this year. I hope CM Punk goes on a city-wide tour with the WWE Championship. I never got to see the Stanley Cup when the Blackhawks had it last summer…maybe I can get a chance to see the WWE Championship. Thank you Punk for bringing a championship home to Chicago again!

    http://yfrog.com/kkgn1wzj

  42. July 18, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    I’m going to finish my Fan Report tomorrow most likely. Should be done then.

    • July 19, 2011 at 4:36 am

      Cool. Cuz I’m tapping out with writing anything else on here. Next time it will be the live thoughts and nothing else edited in except maybe a few pics.

      • July 19, 2011 at 2:04 pm

        Won’t be done today. I was to give myself enough time to do it and not rush it. Tomorrow for sure.

  43. July 19, 2011 at 2:31 am

    I hope the first act of New WWE Chairmen Triple H is sicking a pack of rabid pitbull’s on Michael Cole’s balls live on Raw.

    Then he should make the WWE Diva’s wrestle topless.

    • Mike Brazil
      July 19, 2011 at 3:36 am

      I’d pay to see that.

    • July 19, 2011 at 4:41 am

      He can change WWE completely. He thrived in the Attitude Era so I would like to see that come back. I bet he rehires Punk though.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 19, 2011 at 5:55 am

        Punk and Cena will be the new 2 Man Power Trip.

  44. July 19, 2011 at 6:03 am

    Hell no. CM Punk should always own John Cena. Its better that way.

    • Capt. Smooth
      July 19, 2011 at 6:06 am

      Cena squashed Punk in about 3 minutes a couple years ago. Punk didn’t own anybody(that we know of).

  45. Capt. Smooth
    July 19, 2011 at 6:03 am

    THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ :
    Lesner never hulked up and he was a legit bad ass. Cena, ever since The Marine he has never been the same.

    Never had to, he was booked as so unbeatable, it got boring.

    • July 19, 2011 at 6:10 am

      Lesner was awesome. I couldn’t believe he actually left though. Now I understand after reading his ordeal with pain and pain killers and stuff, but back then I was pissed.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 19, 2011 at 6:14 am

        He was a freak of nature.

        • July 19, 2011 at 6:15 am

          He would have had one hell of a career had he stayed. Even saved himself the embarrassment of getting knocked the fuck up by Velasquez.

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 19, 2011 at 6:17 am

            Would’ve detryed more rings with Show. *plays sad music* Gotta get to work. Later.

  46. Capt. Smooth
    July 19, 2011 at 6:04 am

    THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ :
    He never had a Super moment in the match though.

    The GTS was booked like it. I would’ve enjoyed a little sequence after Cena got back into the ring.

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