Home > Impact Wrestling, Review, THE INFAMOUS JCITY™, TNA > Brief Thoughts On Impact Wrestling 7/21/11

Brief Thoughts On Impact Wrestling 7/21/11

Brief Thoughts On Impact Wrestling 7/21/11

by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™

Impact Wrestling is a good alternative to the WWE, but if you listen to the haters online, Impact Wrestling is nothing more than a punchline with everything that is wrong with the wrestling industry. The hate towards the company brainwashes impressionable fans that have never heard of the company, but go out of their way to put the product down in some sort of blind allegiance to the WWE, which ends up turning off any potential fans they could have gained. With that being said, here are a few brief thought on this week’s show.

Now, I understand some of the concern shown over the company putting their World Championship on a man that is over 50 years old, but Sting has earned everything he has accomplished in his long and illustrious career and let’s face it, it’s not like he has Alzheimer’s or anything. The new “Joker” type gimmick is proof that when given an opportunity, you can depend on Sting to deliver each and every single time. While the character is a bit zany and over the top, Sting makes it work to perfection. Personally, I prefer dark, deranged and serious Sting, but I would be lying if I said I haven’t enjoyed his antics as a mischievous Joker rip-off. Sure, he was fast tracked to the top when he returned, but that just proves his business savvy. I don’t blame him one bit for wanting to be the company’s main champion, it’s a privilege he earned due to seniority and his loyalty to the TNA brand. I can only imagine what would be of his career had the 2/21/11/ rumors been true and he ended up debuting in the WWE earlier this year. We will never know for sure, but I’m sure it would have been epic.

Moving on, some people just don’t look good in HD and as much as I enjoy seeing Mickie James perform in the ring, she was looking very old in her promo with Velvet Sky. You can tell she was wearing a ton of makeup and you can STILL see all the wrinkles in her face and what the fuck was up with her hair? Someone should really introduce her wild unmanageable mane to a hair brush, pronto. Don’t get me wrong, I would wax that ass if giving the opportunity, but she seemed off on this particular episode. As for Angelina Love, I can tell she wears a ton of makeup too, but she’s fucking hot and her body is fucking incredible. I love a bitch with big tits and a tight flat stomach and she fits that type to perfection. I like the thick girls too, but Angelina is Pornstar status and her face is screaming for a hot and creamy facial and I would love to be the one to give it to her. Other than that, I’m really curious to see how these women look without all the makeup. I’m sure they are not hideous or anything, but the difference might be shocking.

Anyways, I found it absolutely hilarious when Eric Young went to a convenience store and confused D’Lo Brown with singer Cee-Lo Green. You see, Eric has been going around looking for television personalities to defend his Television Championship against and since Cee-Lo Green is one of the judges on “The Voice”, Eric took it upon himself to issue a challenge for the championship. D’Lo tried to tell Eric who he was, but Eric has a couple of screws loose so he didn’t comprehend what D’Lo was trying to tell him. He ended up rolling D’Lo up and counting to three as he successfully defended his championship against Cee-Lo, I mean D’Lo. The segment ended with D’Lo chasing Eric out of the store in what looked like the most excercise D’Lo has seen in a very long time.

The exchange between Mexican America and Beer Money was pretty good. Beer Money is easily the best tag team in professional wrestling today. They can both wrestle their asses off and can both cut one hell of a promo. If they ever split up I can see both guys finding singles success until their paths inevitably cross again. Many people say that only Roode would be able to survive on his own, but James Storm is a legit bad ass so I think he can do exceptionally well without his partner. Anyways, Storm promises that on August 7, 2011 at Hardcore Justice, Beer Money will retain their Impact Wrestling Tag Team Championships and Mexican America, well, they will leave the PPV with their green cards stuck up their asses.

As for the actual wrestling, there was a decent match between Scott Steiner and RVD that was won by the marijuana aficionado, RVD, who gains seven points in the Bound For Glory Series as a result.

There was also a backstage brawl where Sarita and Rosita jumped Ms. Tessmacher and Tara, which just ended up being a complete clusterfuck. Rosita really needs lessons on how to make punches look like they connected. We all know that wrestling is choreographed, but damn, at least try to make it look authentic. Anyways, they showed an unaired clip from last week where these women had a Parking Lot Brawl and Sarita suffered a broken jaw and busted orbital socket so she is now forced to wear a protective face mask. The real reason she has to wear the mask is because she tried to fit both Anarquia and Hernandez’s cocks in her mouth at the same time and ended up paralyzing her face. Ok, so I made that part up, but her facial paralysis is a legit injury, so props to Sarita for finding the strength to work through the pain. That bitch has more balls than most men I know, proverbially speaking of course.

Sarita and Rosita ended up putting their Knockouts Tag Team Championships against the women they attacked backstage and I must say that I loved that match, but then again I just love seeing nice firm asses and titties bouncing all over the place, so maybe I’m just being bias. Even with interference from Madison Rayne, Tara ended up getting the pin on Sarita, so the one time paring of Tara and Ms. Tessmacher ended up being a good idea after all as they can now call themselves champions.

This show also featured a very exciting Ladder Match between Matt Morgan, Samoa Joe, Gunner and AJ Styles. I absolutely love Ladder Matches so this has been an exceptional week for me as a wrestling fan. All men gave it their all in this highly physical match and my only complain is that I wish the match was longer. Matt Morgan ended up winning the match and earned himself ten points in the Bound For Glory Series.

The X-Division still lives at Impact Wrestling as Brian Kendrick put his title on the line against one half of the Motor City Machine Guns, Alex Shelley. The match started off slow as both men seemed to be evenly matched, but picked up steam towards the end. Austin Aries ended up coming out of nowhere and smashed Alex in the face with the X-Division Championship assisting Brian Kendrick in his victory. The ref didn’t see the interference and neither did the wrestlers. When Brian was told what had happened backstage he was pissed because he didn’t wan’t to win in such a cheap fashion which is mighty commendable of the Kurt Cobain look-a-like.

Mickie James was scheduled to put her Knockouts Championship on the line against Velvet Sky, but that match never happened. Instead, Winter and Angelina Love came out and all the women just ended up brawling. ODB and Jackie came out through the crowd and joined in on the brawl. Kazarian’s wife and former Knockout, Traci Brooks made her return to the company to help out Mickie and Velvet. I found it hilarious when the Impact Wrestling security tried to break up the brawl and ended up getting fucked up by ODB and Jackie until the police came and arrested both of them. Oh yea, ODB has some huge tits I would motor boat for hours at a time. Don’t judge me.

The main event which featured Kurt Angle and Sting vs Mr. Anderson and Bully Ray was way too short to be anything special. I expected something better, but time wasn’t on their side.

Even though this episode of Impact Wrestling doesn’t compare to the pure awesomeness that was Monday Night RAW, I still found it to be a highly enjoyable show. The only advise I can give to the people who book the show is spend less time on the backstage segments and give the fans what they really want; some goddamn fucking wrestling.

*Fades2Black*

  1. J-Kairo617
    July 22, 2011 at 8:02 am

    Kurt Angel was lookin mad small. Probly layin off tha roids now that he’s goin for olympic gold again lol.

    • July 22, 2011 at 10:11 pm

      Lol. I was thinking the same thing. He legit needs steroids for his neck injuries though. I think he will get a medal at the Olympics, just not sure if it will be a gold one.

      • July 25, 2011 at 2:11 am

        He should break his neck again for good luck.

        • July 25, 2011 at 2:36 am

          No. But I wouldn’t mind seeing Brock Lesner attempt his Shooting Star Press again where he almost died.

  2. Ana_ZackPack
    July 22, 2011 at 9:49 am

    The make up comments made me laugh. I love women’s wrestling, but some women just use TO MUCH make up and believe me that plus the tanning most of them do really fucks up you’re skin.

    I would advise botox, but then she would lose her expression and you wouldn’t be able to see what is a smile or a pissed of look.

    • July 22, 2011 at 10:09 pm

      Botox, Maryse’s best friend.

      • July 25, 2011 at 2:10 am

        The real Maryse is an above average looking women with a great body.

        WWE Maryse is a hot hooker bitch who’s body isn’t even hers. Fake hair, make-up is a mask on her face, fake boobies, fake nails, and I sure there’s more fake things too.

  3. Capt. Smooth
    July 22, 2011 at 11:07 am

    All we need is for Hogan to say “You can’t see me!” and I will never say anything bad about Impact ever again!(unless I feel like it)

    • July 22, 2011 at 10:05 pm

      Lol. Or a Hollywood People’s Elbow.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 22, 2011 at 10:06 pm

        Or do the Vince strut and tear some quads.

        • July 22, 2011 at 10:14 pm

          I will never understand how Vince tore a quad just by walking.

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 22, 2011 at 10:16 pm

            I think when he was sliding into the ring, he just went in at the wrong angle and they tore.

            • July 23, 2011 at 11:38 pm

              Shit is still funny to this day. Its like waking up and hopping out of bed just to break your damn leg or something.

              • July 25, 2011 at 2:06 am

                Too bad he didn’t tear it on the way to the ring. That way he would have to just lay there on the entrance ramp and talk.

                It must have been hilarious once he came backstage.

  4. David
    July 22, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    I fully enjoy Impact every week. The makeup thing cracked me up too and I fully agree with J about those knockouts. They can all get the bizness. Sarita has the fattest ass in the game aside from ODB! Ain’t trying to hate but Angelina Love needs to eat. Anderson is losing his arms faster than Kurt is. Did u see his elbow pads falling off of him a few weeks back. I love Joker Sting but I can see that he’s running on fumes with that gimmick. He needs to watch The Dark Knight again to embrace the character instead of just some of the mannerisms. Joker was crafty, ruthless, and greedy. Eric Young is funny but I need for that guy to hit the ring again. Jackie can stay her dumb ass at home. I want ODB back she’s one of the best female wrestlers out there. Aries is quickly becoming my favorite character on Impact. I know Fozzy Bear is going to rip on Impact in his review so thanks for giving a fair an unbiased review.

    • July 22, 2011 at 10:03 pm

      I just write as a fan of all wrestling. Some people review TNA and it feels that they are on the WWE payroll or something. It’s really not that bad. Maybe not what they are used to, but not bad at all. Watch one of the praises be “Oh at least Hulk Hogan and Bishoff weren’t there” or something to that effect, lol. Sting is running on fumes a bit, when the gimmick started he was a crazy deranged dark twisted character, now he is just acting like a happy lunatic. I still like it, but I prefer the way he carried himself at the beginning. He makes it work though. If it was someone else it would have fell flat, but Sting is a veteran so he knows what he’s doing. I love the Knockouts. They are all so fuckable and there’s Knockouts to fit all my types. I like brunettes, blondes, redheads, skinny, thick, whatever the case might be they have them. I would fuck ODB, a lot of people might think I’m crazy for saying that but she’s nice and thick and I can handle that. Women in the real world aren’t all stick figures with big tits. If you cant get down with variety then you’re just not getting laid as much as you should be.

  5. The Unusual Suspect
    July 22, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    Fuck off. No one one should ever get Botox.

    • July 22, 2011 at 9:53 pm

      Hey, that’s no way to talk to a lady. Learn some manners fucker.

      • The Unusual Suspect
        July 23, 2011 at 12:03 am

        Not now, not ever.

  6. July 22, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    JCITY, this is way too long. I can’t read all this about TNA!

  7. Mr.Redlight
    July 22, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    why the holy fuck is that stupid stupid whore rebecca black in the backround

    • Mr.Redlight
      July 22, 2011 at 5:02 pm

      oh i get it. Its friday. that fucking bitch

    • July 22, 2011 at 10:39 pm

      I was wondering who that was. I was thinking it was either a random bitch or TNA knockout Rosetia.

  8. Mr.Redlight
    July 22, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    i know they are quick thoughts but no mention to the ladder match? It wasnt great but it wasnt bad lol

    • Alan
      July 22, 2011 at 5:29 pm

      Redlight bro!!! You’re Alive!!! Thank baby jesus dude! ahahaha

    • July 22, 2011 at 9:50 pm

      Ummm, I did mention it. Did you read Tony’s MITB post? I think your parents were looking for you no lie.

      • Mr.Redlight
        July 22, 2011 at 9:56 pm

        whats up alan. Yup smoking and reading is not the best combo. Totally my bad on that one.

  9. July 22, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    I need to start smoking and writing again. Every single thing on THEREALSHYT was done while I was under the influence, lol.

    • Mr.Redlight
      July 22, 2011 at 10:16 pm

      .you dont smoke anymore???

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 22, 2011 at 10:17 pm

        If you have quit, good luck. I’m pulling for you.

        • July 22, 2011 at 10:43 pm

          Yep, one day JCITY was sitting there thinking:

          “Huh, maybe I should stop taking illegal drugs and focus on my career, relationship, and future son named after Shaman.”

          then he thought:

          “Naw, screw it. Meekerz, get me a weed sandwich!”

          Then he put Niggy in the toilet and went to bed.

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 22, 2011 at 10:45 pm

            The End “Daddy, that was a fun story!”

  10. July 22, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    Newports, yes. Weed, fuck no. I will never stop blazing up.

  11. July 22, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    Joey’s styles shoot promo script that lead to ECW coming back.

    http://nodq.com/features/148595873.shtml

  12. July 23, 2011 at 3:42 am

    “The real reason she has to wear the mask is because she tried to fit both Anarquia and Hernandez’s cocks in her mouth at the same time and ended up paralyzing her face.”

    This made my day. Thank you.

    • July 23, 2011 at 3:51 am

      These knockouts are lightweights, I heard that Melina fit Big Show, Mark Henry, and The Great Khali’s cocks in her mouth during Wrestlemaina. Sure she had to cut into her cheaks to make room, but it’s still impressive.

      She was eaten out by a tiger later that night too.

      • July 23, 2011 at 11:45 pm

        LMMFAO. Melina should enter the Whore Olympics.

        • July 25, 2011 at 2:02 am

          God bless Melina. Her whoreness never gets old.

          I heard that Melina fucks the microphone before a promo when she’s nervous.

          Rumor has it Melina’s vagina bleeds more when she’s not on her period.

          Melina has sex during her period

          Melina ruins all her remote controls by fucking them.

          Melina fucks butter knives.

          Melina vagina’s has been insides out ever since she fucked a plunger.

          Melina no longer enjoys sex, she just does it for the lulz.

          Melina once let a snake crawl into her vagina and out her ass.

          That is all.

          • July 25, 2011 at 2:39 am

            Melina once let a snake crawl into her vagina and out her ass.

            LMMFAO. Dead.

  13. July 23, 2011 at 3:47 am

    I just actually read it.

    I don’t have HD but Angelina looks really old to me. It looks like she globs 20 pounds of eyeliner on, but it’s not working. God bless her body as she clearly has an eating disorder but her face has seen better days.

    Velvet still looks great though. Even Winter looks nice, and she has the best theme in TNA.

    • July 23, 2011 at 11:47 pm

      I would still fuck Angelina. She got a hot body, but she might be a bit scary looking without the makeup though. HD brings out every wrinkle and every pore. The worst HD offender is Ric Flair. That guy looks like a chewed up clit.

  14. Mike Brazil
    July 23, 2011 at 4:07 am

    Ms. Tessmacher has an ass that won’t quit.

    • July 23, 2011 at 11:48 pm

      I would love to get an p close and personal look at that thing. It’s so firm without and ounce of jiggle to it. Personally, I like the jiggle, but I can appreciate a nice firm ass.

      • Mike Brazil
        July 24, 2011 at 1:55 pm

        I like firm with a little bit of jiggle.

        • July 25, 2011 at 12:57 am

          One time I had a chick with nothing but jiggle and that shit was hilarious the way the ass was going in every direction when I was hitting it from the back.

  15. Rob
    July 24, 2011 at 1:10 am

    TNA sucks.

    • July 24, 2011 at 2:17 am

      I don’t think it does, but hey, everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

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