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My Last Monday Night RAW Review? 7/25/11

My Last Monday Night RAW Review? 7/25/11


When I started this site, I thought that I was going to write nothing but original columns, but somewhere down the line I ended up reviewing shows and while reviewing shows guarantees that I will always have something to write about thus providing more content for the site, it’s not what I originally set out to do. Reviewing shows is easy compared to making up content using nothing but your brain and I want to challenge myself and writing opinions on a show or recapping stuff that plays out on television just isn’t challenging enough. So consider this my last Monday Night RAW Review… EVER

The show kicked off with an awesome WWE Championship Match as Rey Mysterio went head to head with The Miz for the vacated title. This match was supposed to take place last week as both these men made it to the WWE Championship Tournament Finals, but it ended up being postponed by the former Chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon. I found it extremely odd that this match would kick off the show considering that this should have been the main event, so I expected some type of twist or Money In The Bank cash-in to take place before the show was over. In my opinion, this match would have had a much bigger feel to it had it went on as originally scheduled, since the winner would have beaten 3 men in one night and would have seemed more deserving of the WWE Championship.

As for the actual match, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I expected an evenly contested match, but The Miz dominated most of it. To say I was surprised that The Miz carried Rey Mysterio to a good match would be an understatement, but that’s exactly what happened. Don’t get me wrong, Rey did have his moments, but this match was all about The Miz and it’s too bad he didn’t win because it would have been well deserved. If Miz would have displayed this kind of intensity throughout his initial WWE Championship run, then he would have been a very credible champion in my eyes. Instead, they made him too much of a dick licking, idea stealing, chicken shit of a heel, who only amped up the intensity towards the end of his reign. He then ended up losing all of the heat he had by jobbing out to the much inferior Alex Riley. This match returned The Miz to prominence and proved that he can hang with the best just based on his wrestling abilities alone. PWI agrees with my statement and have named The Miz the number one wrestler in the world in 2011.

Anyways, Rey ended up overcoming the odds and becoming the WWE Champion for the first time in his illustrious career. I wonder how long Rey can keep the title for? If you guessed not that long then you’re probably right, but we’ll get to that a bit later. In the mean time, here are some unedited tweets from a few of his colleagues congratulating Rey on his accomplishment:

MVP (@The305MVP): @reymysterio Congrats sidekick! A distinguished & deserving champion!

MVP Defending Rey: REY has busted his ass for YEARS! You have no clue how hard a number of stars work behind the scenes! You only see tv. You don’t see the signings, appearances, promo tours, time away from families! REY has been a go to guy for all these things for YEARS! Even sometimes coming BACK from vacation with his family for “emergency” situations.

Melina (@RealMelina): Rey Mysterio is a phenomenal WWE superstar. His work and ability is something I respect & admire. I’m so happy for his win.

Tyson Kidd (@KiddWWE): Rey Mysterio is the man! He brings his A game every night. He is the epitome of a champion

Now back to your regularly scheduled program…

Rey Mysterio has had a horrible track record when it comes to proper championship reigns in the WWE, so when Alberto Del Rio came out to cash in his Money In The Bank contract I had a feeling that he was going to win the WWE Championship right there and then. Rey ended up diving on Del Rio before he had the chance to get in the ring, thus thwarting his plans. I’m glad Rey managed to dodge that bullet. I truly believe that Rey deserves at least one good run with one of the major titles before he retires, but even though he earned the right to call himself the WWE Champion, his reign is already tainted because in my eyes you can win a million motherfucking tournaments, but until you beat the rightful champion, CM Punk, you’re just an impostor holding a replica belt.

A SummerSlam commercial was shown which I found absolutely hilarious because one of the guys featured on the commercial was Chris Masters and we all know that he has about a snowball’s chance in hell of actually being on the PPV.

When Rey Mysterio was shown backstage celebrating with his peers, I couldn’t help but notice that most of them were either jobbers that are ever barely used (Hi Tyler Reks) or NXT rejects that the average casual viewer would never be able to pick out of a lineup if their lives depended on it (Hi Percy Watson). So when they busted out the champaign I though it was funny as fuck because they all pitched in and they still managed to get the cheapest shit on the market. I guess their meager jobber wages just wasn’t enough for some Moet or Dom Perignon. They might as well just have drenched little Rey Rey with that crappy Keystone Light beer they keep shilling. That shit is nasty as fuck and may just be the most watery tasting beer this side of Natural Ice.

The WWE Championship Match was followed by a decent match between Dolph Ziggler and Evan Bourne. It wasn’t anything you have to go out your way to see, but it was decent for what it was. I’m just glad that it was Evan Bourne in the match and not Kofi motherfucking Kingston. The thing that stood out to me the most was Dolph’s new remixed theme music. It went from smooth proclamation of perfection to generic rock proclamation of perfection. I hate it. Maybe it will grow on me, maybe it won’t, but as of 7/26/11 I fucking hate it. After the match Dolph grabbed a mic and debuted his new catchphrase “Follow That” which would have gone over better if he didn’t just follow a much superior WWE Championship Match. Oh yea, before I forget, I just want to ask, why the fuck does Dolph Ziggler slap his own ass every time he comes out for a match? I just noticed this last night, but apparently he does it before every single match. Weird.

In a stupid backstage segment this episode of RAW could have done without, The Identical Cocksuckers Bella Twin were shown arguing with Jay Leno chin herself, Eve Torres. Out of nowhere, Keith Stone shows up with his extra watery Coors Light ripoff Keystone Light beer that taste like unrefreshing bullshit in a can. Eve complains that The Bella Twins look exactly the same (you think?) and keep switching places to win matches so Keith Stone draws a tattoo sleeve on Nikki using a colorful sharpie  slid one of those pre-drawn nylon tattoo sleeve thingys on Nikki’s arm so everyone can tell them apart. He might have fooled Eve, but he aint fooling me since I saw a pack of those nylon sleeve thingys at Target for $5 and they sell on eBay for $1. So fuck you Keith Stone, your mother sucks cocks in hell and I hope you get bukkaked to death with your own nasty shitty beer.

Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres had a match against Maryse and Melina and the only spots I remember are Eve popping her booty and queffing in Maryse’s face, Maryse rubbing her ass all up on Eve’s face and returning the queff, Kelly Kelly spanking Melina and Kelly Kelly picking up the win with a Rocker Dropper/FameAssser which was utilized by Dolph Ziggler in the match prior to this one. It’s like Kelly Kelly is the female version of Dolph Ziggler or maybe Dolph Ziggler is the male version of Kelly Kelly. That would explain the all leather booty shorts he likes to wear [||]PAUSE. Anyways, this match was too short to mean anything, but you already knew that since they do this week in and week out. I still don’t understand how Kharma ended up getting pregnant, but none of these fine bitches ever get knocked the fuck up. That’s weirder than Dolph Ziggler’s self spanking fetish.

Cee-Lo Green will perform some of his songs at the SummerSlam PPV. I don’t know about anyone else, but I fucking hate when musical acts come to wrestling events and do any type of concerts. When I pay for wrestling, I want to see wrestling, not Cee-Lo fucking Green. Hey Cee-Lo, I have a special message for you. You might know it since it’s the name of one of your songs, FUCK YOU!!!!!! (Ain’t that some shit?).

Triple H came out and made his first questionable decision by giving John Cena a rematch for the WWE Championship against Rey Mysterio in the main event. This could have easily been scheduled for next week so I didn’t see the need for John Cena to challenge Rey on this particular episode of RAW seeing how Rey already had a grueling match against The Miz. This was a bullshit decision and the Triple H regime has officially started out on a bad note. Then Triple H said he just resigned someone the fans have demanded to be resigned. I along with the rest of the WWE Universe thought he meant CM Punk, which would have made me overlook his previous decision, but no, it was only Jim Ross’ fat BBQ loving ass. Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of JR and he is desperately needed on the announce team since the Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole pairing has been atrocious as of late, but really? Jim Ross? Triple H is known to be a trickster so I should have seen a swerve coming, but damn, I really thought it would have been CM Punk. Anyways, Michael Cole was upset over Triple H’s decision and went on a rant as he tried his best to degrade Jim Ross. I’m really starting to miss last week’s format where it was all about the wrestling and they saved all the talking for the end of the show. Triple H told Cole that if he doesn’t like it then he could leave. He also booked Cole for a wrestling match which made me throw my remote at the TV. Cole does not belong in a damn wrestling ring. His matches always suck. I thought Triple H was going to bring a change to the WWE, but it seems that all we are getting is the same old shit. FUCK!!!!!!!

R-Truth came out to confront Triple H and man did they seriously drop the ball on R-Truth’s ruthless heel character. I’m extremely disappointed because his heel run had so much potential. Anyways, when Triple H started mocking Truth for talking to himself I found it a bit amusing, but extremely unnecessary and time-consuming at the same time. All this ended up accomplishing was the return of the dickless wonder, John Morrison, so I guess it was ok. Morrison can go in the ring even if he can’t keep his bitch’s libido in check to save his life. One thing that stood out about this was Triple H saying he resigned Morrison and the last time I checked Morrison was injured not fired, so how exactly did he resign him? Clear him to compete I can understand, but resign him, no. I know Triple H was only using the word “resign” to tease a CM Punk return and for that I only have two words for Triple H… FUCK YOU!!!!!

Michael Cole coming out for his match using Triple H’s theme and wrestling gear was funny as fuck, but I will be ok if I never see another Michael Cole match for the rest of my life. His opponent was… Zack Ryder. Internet explodes and the match ends just as quick as it began. I know Zack has his Broskis and Cole has his ColeMiners, but I’m just a wrestling fan and compared to last week this show has been a major disappointment.

Glad to see Ricardo Rodriguez back and doing Del Rio’s formal introduction. Del Rio’s entrance just doesn’t have the same pizzaz without him. This was a rematch from last week where Kofi beat Del Rio to advance in the WWE Championship Tournament. I was expecting a little more from this match, so I was a little let down by the length of it (that’s what Melina keeps telling John Morrison). The main story of this match was Del Rio having his opponent well scouted thus exploiting Kofi’s weak arm from last week. Kofi tapped out to Del Rio’s Cross “The Border” Arm Breaker. By the way, Del Rio had on new white ring gear which was a much needed change because he looked like the Mexican Goldust in his old gold panties.

Miz was interviewed backstage and he was disappointed with Triple H’s decision to give John Cena the opportunity to win back the WWE Championship. I don’t agree with The Miz most of the time, but he’s damn right about that. Cena lost the WWE Championship to a man that in turn made a mockery of the very company Cena was supposed to represent. It’s Cena’s fault the WWE Championship picture was in turmoil and it’s John Cena’s fault that Vince McMahon was relieved of his duties. John Cena deserved to be fired, but noooooo, Triple H had to stick his big ass nose where it didn’t fucking belong. So yea, Miz will be on the George Lopez show “Lopez Tonight”  on TBS and The Challenge: Rivals After Show on MTV on Wednesday night. Check your local listings.

Rey Mysterio and John Cena had a very good match as they competed for the WWE Championship that Rey won earlier in the show. While I don’t agree with the ending, which saw John Cena win the WWE Championship, I understand why it was done. Too bad it came at the expense of Rey Mysterio, who is a damn good worker and deserves a legit championship reign, but it seems that it is not his destiny. This has officially been Rey’s worse title reign, but I have to give him props for having two good matches in one night and being a good sport about this whole situation, because if it was me, I would have refused to face John Cena on the same night I just won the damn WWE Championship. One thing I find funny about this match is how a lot of people online are now realizing that John Cena can have good matches. After his epic encounter with CM Punk at Money In The Bank I guess people are now starting to pay attention to Cena’s matches, but in reality, Cena has always had good matches. He isn’t in the position he is in because he sucked Vince’s cock dry, no, Cena has earned his position and his fanbase because he works his fucking ass off day in and day out. Sure, he always displays the same moves all the time, but so does everybody else. Since he is the top dog it just makes him an easier target for those who like to find anything to bitch and complain about. One of my favorite moments in the match was when Rey locked John Cena in his own STF submission move. A move which he performed better than John Cena ever has might I add. This match was highly physical and entertaining and I cheered Rey Mysterio on the whole time, not because I hate Cena or anything like that, but because the man just won the damn title and overcoming Cena’s onslaught would have put him over huge. Since Cena got a chance to win back the WWE Championship he lost to CM Punk, then I fully expect Rey Mysterio to get a rematch soon. It’s rare to see a face vs face match with the biggest prize in the company on the line and I must say that I enjoyed it immensely.

In my eyes though, Cena could have beaten a million Rey Mysterio’s, but until he beats the rightful champion, CM Punk, he’s just an imposter holding a replica belt and if that’s the case then I AM THE WWE AND WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!!!! So yea, CM Punk is the real champion and to be the man, you have to beat the man and speak of the motherfucking devil, CM PUNK IS BACK MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!! Fuck yes, I can’t say that I like his new theme because I don’t (and to me it’s a new theme since I never heard him come out to it before, so if you’re going to be a dickhead and say “Oh, he used that theme in ROH” then you can just shut your stupid whore mouth and take the fingers you were planning on typing out that sentence and shove them straight up your fucking ass), but I’m glad that he settled whatever contract dispute he had going on. Even though I think they should have saved it for next week, I was too damn busy marking the fuck out to really give a fuck. I loved when Cena raised his belt and the fans gave a mix reaction, but when CM Punk raised the true WWE Championship EVERYBODY cheered. I can’t wait until next week and see what the fuck happens next.

I hope you all enjoyed my last Monday Night RAW Review. Who knows, if the demand is ever there for a return then I might just bring it back from time to time, but for now it’s time to let this motherfucker rest in peace. If you enjoyed my RAW Reviews then thanks, I did it all for your entertainment and if not then fuck you and your mother is a whore.

  1. July 26, 2011 at 10:49 am

    People are actually saying on TJR that Punk came back too quickly. Fuck that. I didn’t want to see him leave at all.

    And Jim Ross is back! I really didn’t see that coming. They better not be fucking with me…I don’t want to see Michael Cole “injuring” him next week.

    Last comment, I wasn’t a big fan of the WWE Tournament and I’m glad I never got into it because the whole tournament was bullshit. They have this two week tournament just so Cena can win the title back at the end of RAW…that’s bullshit. I hate Rey Mysterio but that was his first ever WWE Championship reign and I’d understand if he was pissed.

    By the way, I’m trying out a new column concept. I debuted it at my own site first and if it goes over well, I might send future columns to you.


    • Capt. Smooth
      July 26, 2011 at 4:45 pm

      Yeah, Rey deserves better. I’m glad the 2 had a match. It was cool to see it and I’d love to see more down the road.

      • July 27, 2011 at 12:39 am

        I personally think that they should have held off on Punk’s return until next week. Have Cena cut a promo about how everything is back to normal since he is once again the WWE Champion then have Punk come out and interrupt him. In Triple H’s “State of the WWE Address” he could have said that Punk will be there next week to see if they can work things out or something. JR back is cool, but after a few months he too will fall into a pattern and become stale like the other announcers. I hope there is no drama between him and Cole that leads to a match. I never ever ever want to see announcers wrestle unless Booker T comes out of retirement. And the tournament was for nothing because the title is back on John Cena which is lame as fuck and not fair to those that busted their asses to have a chance at the belt. I understand why it was done but I dont agree with it being done at the expense of Rey Mysterio and the tournament. Oh well, the Summerslam main event just got a whole hell of a lot more interesting.

        • Mike Brazil
          July 27, 2011 at 1:12 am

          Rey should have kept the belt. Tired of seeing Census as the champion. It’s stale.

          • July 27, 2011 at 1:37 am

            Census, lol.

            • Capt. Smooth
              July 27, 2011 at 5:54 am

              That’s the problem I have with the JR complaint. After a few months, he’ll become “stale”. He called wrestling for years without anybody saying he was “stale”. Why should it happen in “a few months”?

              • Mr.Redlight
                July 27, 2011 at 6:20 am

                i wonder if its like a story line where cena becomes corporate champion. I hope so

                • Capt. Smooth
                  July 27, 2011 at 6:27 am

                  It would fit more into Cena’s character if he were an unknowing corporate champion. That way, he can snap at the one pulling the strings. Hornswoggle

                  • July 27, 2011 at 7:26 am

                    JR was stale and is one of the reasons they got rid of him to begin with. “Getting whipped like a government mule”, ” Stomping a mudhole and walking it dry” and the classic “This is gonna be a real slobberknocker”.

          • July 28, 2011 at 10:48 am

            CM Punk keeps his “belt” in the fridge.

            It stays fresher in there and doesn’t go stale right away.

        • July 27, 2011 at 9:52 am

          JR becoming stale? Tell me you did not just say that!!

          Oh and I guess you were right to do your rant about all of the dirtsheets predicting Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena for SummerSlam. The WWE needs to stop leaking their PPV matches. That’s now twice this year that they leaked a match and then had to change it because they found a much more interesting match-up. Sometimes you need to let current feuds play out. You can’t just book a match six months in advance and assume you can use that time to get the fans interested in the match. It’s good to have long-term plans but DON’T LEAK THEM. The Punk-Cena feud is WAY more interesting than any feud this year. Honestly…it should have been a WrestleMania feud so the least they can do is book the blow-off match for SummerSlam. I doubt it will be better than the “Chi-Town Beatdown” (that match needs a name…I’m accepting ideas) but it would be better than Cena vs. Del Rio.

          • July 27, 2011 at 10:14 am

            He will. Just give it a few months. It will all start going downhill as soon as he mentions his BBQ sauce, lol. His voice does make matches feel a bit more epic than they really are though so that’s good. Too bad he wasn’t announcing at Money In The Bank.

            Dirtsheets always do that shit and for the most part WWE changes the matches around every time. I read that they are now writing using long term planning. Its only a matter of time before all major angles get spoiled on the net, unless this is a way to weed out all the dirtsheet moles by throwing out some false leaks.

            • Capt. Smooth
              July 27, 2011 at 6:09 pm

              Agree with Tony on JR.

            • July 28, 2011 at 10:54 am

              JR should have been at MITB. Why couldn’t he return just three weeks earlier. Then again, the poor announcing at MITB may be what brought him back.

              I will say that JR is not as good as he once was. I miss the days when he would freak out whenever someone broke a rule. “What is Triple H doing with that sledgehammer? Put it away dammit! This isn’t a no DQ match! Triple H is going to hit The Rock with it! OH MY GOD! GOOD LORD! I don’t believe it! He must have broken The Rock’s ribs! OH and a shot to the head! Somebody stop him! Here’s the cover! The ref is waking up now. ONE TWO THREE! DAMMIT! That Son of Bitch stole one! DAMMIT! I hope you rot in hell you bastard!”

              • Capt. Smooth
                July 28, 2011 at 5:03 pm

                Probably just doesn’t have the energy.

  2. July 26, 2011 at 10:55 am

    I also was confused when Triple H said he “re-signed” Morrison. Then again, the WWE never really released Jim Ross…they just said, “Jim Ross is feeling sick today so here is Matt Striker to replace…I mean fill-in for him” and we never heard his name again until that Old School RAW.

    • July 27, 2011 at 12:41 am

      He was only using the word resign to tease CM Punk’s return. I hope he gets a GTS for trying to trick us.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 27, 2011 at 5:55 am

        I’m sure it’ll be a hearty handshake.

        • Capt. Smooth
          July 27, 2011 at 5:57 am

          That’s another thing I don’t get. Remember when Punk called HHH a “doofus son in-law”? If Cena had said the exact same line the exact same way, people would’ve trashed him for using “corny jokes”. It’s selective outrage.

          • July 27, 2011 at 7:27 am

            Punk was being dead serious, Cena does to immature promo too often.

            • Capt. Smooth
              July 27, 2011 at 6:11 pm

              Cena immature? And doing snow angels in the ring is pure class. Both are smartasses. I like it.

              • July 28, 2011 at 2:15 am

                CM Punk is a smartass, John Cena is a lame ass… at least when it comes to promos.

                • Capt. Smooth
                  July 28, 2011 at 5:45 am

                  Gotta quit that weed.

                  • July 28, 2011 at 11:32 am


                    • Capt. Smooth
                      July 28, 2011 at 5:04 pm

                      So you admit it’s because of the weed.

      • July 27, 2011 at 9:53 am

        I knew it wasn’t CM Punk because I know when a tease is coming. I was honestly hoping for Jericho or maybe Batista.

        • July 27, 2011 at 10:18 am

          To fight R-Truth?

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 27, 2011 at 6:12 pm

            I think instead of JR.

          • July 28, 2011 at 10:56 am

            No…when Triple H said he had brought someone back “so let’s welcome him back to RAW” and then JR came out.

            • July 28, 2011 at 11:36 am

              I will mark the fuck out if he has a Bell’s Palsy attack while calling a match. #Don’tJudgeMe

              • Capt. Smooth
                July 28, 2011 at 5:05 pm

                How about a stern talking to?

  3. July 26, 2011 at 10:57 am

    And last comment…that better not be Punk’s new music. His old music was fine and whenever I hear that new song, I think of Stone Cold not CM Punk.

    • July 26, 2011 at 11:21 am

      I thinks it’s awesome music. Suits his new face character.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 26, 2011 at 4:45 pm

        Agree with Shaman.

        • July 26, 2011 at 7:59 pm

          I didn’t reconize it at all. I thoght it was Keith Stone coming to celebrate with Cena.

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 26, 2011 at 8:06 pm

            For a minute, I thought it was Stone Cold.

            • Anonymous
              July 26, 2011 at 9:06 pm

              I definitely thought of Stone Cold. That’s his Hall of Fame promo song.

              • July 26, 2011 at 10:37 pm

                “Anonymous” was me.

                • July 27, 2011 at 12:43 am

                  The song was lame and took away from his pop since nobody knew what the fuck was going on. Then again I only heard it once so maybe it will grow on me, but his old song kicked ass. I hope it was a one time thing.

                  • Mike Brazil
                    July 27, 2011 at 1:03 am

                    His old theme was bad ass. His new theme gives his character freshness.

                    • July 27, 2011 at 1:13 am

                      I had no idea what was going on when that theme played. I immediately thought either someone was debuting or returning, but I didn’t expect Punk, even though it made sense.

  4. Ana_ZackPack
    July 26, 2011 at 11:00 am

    JR! Finally the return of good announcing. JR is so good that he is able to make some awful matches look ok.

    Btw, I dislike Rey Mysterio as a superstar a lot, but I feel terrible for him. Honestly, I think they should have let him have the title and book the Cena rematch for Summerslam and just have Punk tease that he would appear at the event and return by then.

    • Capt. Smooth
      July 26, 2011 at 4:47 pm

      Did JR look thinner?

      • July 27, 2011 at 12:44 am

        Why don’t you like Mysterio?

        And no JR did not look thinner. He’s a fat ass for life.

        • Mike Brazil
          July 27, 2011 at 1:06 am

          At least the announce team was good. Made Raw more enjoyable, Booker and Cole are a train wreck.

          • July 27, 2011 at 1:12 am

            I thought Cole was going to calm down with the heel like tendencies after eating Lawler’s foot. I guess not. I think Booker T would be better if they gave him an auto-tuned headset.

            • Capt. Smooth
              July 27, 2011 at 5:59 am

              Auto-tuned? Make it so, WWE!!!

            • July 27, 2011 at 9:57 am

              He has calmed down a little. They are at least able to sit next to each other now without wanting to rip each other’s head off.

              By the way, is the anonymous GM gone now and is the WWE even going to acknowledge it?

              • July 27, 2011 at 10:21 am

                Knowing WWE they are going to move on like the GM never existed. Unless its Stephanie McMahon and then she and Triple H fight for ultimate control and end up getting a divorce. Maybe Vince can conVINCE her. I’m sure if they divorce then Triple H will have no more power. Maybe it wont happen in real life, but it can make for an interesting storyline.

                • Capt. Smooth
                  July 27, 2011 at 6:14 pm

                  I wouldn’t mind the RAW G.M. trying to get back at HHH.

                  • July 28, 2011 at 2:17 am

                    Tripz should be able to override any GM decisions.

                    • Capt. Smooth
                      July 28, 2011 at 5:46 am

                      Not if he has the New New Nexus.

  5. Alan
    July 26, 2011 at 11:30 am

    RIP Jcity dude’s WWF Monday Night Wars review. 😦

  6. July 26, 2011 at 11:30 am

    CM Punk coming back was great. He’s just too good not to be here.

    So nice of HHH to resign John Morrison…because I guess he wrote up a new contract to pay him less.

    I liked the show reviews in the brief thoughts format, but original column are great too.

  7. July 26, 2011 at 11:33 am

    Alan :
    RIP Jcity dude’s WWF Monday Night Wars review.

    I didn’t know JCITY wrote about panda wars on Monday nights! How many blogs does he have?

  8. July 26, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    Your reviews were entertaining!

  9. Capt. Smooth
    July 26, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    J, at least do reviews for “special” shows. (wrestling deaths, milestones, etc.)

    • July 27, 2011 at 12:49 am

      Not until they either bring back Vince McMahon… or he dies.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 27, 2011 at 6:01 am

        *grabs a knife*

        • July 27, 2011 at 7:32 am


          • Capt. Smooth
            July 27, 2011 at 6:15 pm

            Thought you’d like that.

            • July 28, 2011 at 2:19 am

              If he ends up dying from stab wounds then I’m blaming you.

              • Capt. Smooth
                July 28, 2011 at 5:47 am

                I’ll be infamous too!

                • July 28, 2011 at 11:38 am

                  You’ll be in jail and I will print out and sell FREE CAPT. SMOOTH shirts.

                  • Capt. Smooth
                    July 28, 2011 at 5:07 pm

                    *guy nod* Perhaps you could round round up the Crew and try to bust me out? They could even make a movie out of it.

                    • July 28, 2011 at 6:26 pm

                      We can get your biker gang to help us then celebrate with some ice cream.

  10. July 26, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    These always make me laugh. I wish you wouldn’t stop these. Three more thing:

    1) Dolph slaps his ass all the time for one of two reasons a) to arouse himself and make his package look bigger so he doesn’t get accused of Morrison syndrome b) He’s trying to work out the watery shit caused by Keystone light

    2) I just realized too, the entire divas match was rub eachothers asses in their face and spanking them. Oh and Kelly spanked Maryse’s ass, not Melina’s.

    3) “Kofi tapped out to Del Rio’s Cross “The Border” Arm Breaker. By the way, Del Rio had on new white ring gear which was a much needed change because he looked like the Mexican Goldust in his old gold panties.”

    This is almost as good as why Rosita paralized her face. Del Rio wears panties! Cross The Border Armbreaker! Amazing!

    Thanks for the 2 plugs too.

    • July 27, 2011 at 12:58 am

      Didn’t think you would care… Dolph’s self spanking fetish is weird and I’m surprised I haven’t notice sooner. Kelly did spank Melina and the Cross “The Border” Armbreaker was so easy I’m surprised no one else used it before me as for the panties, seriously, them things look like granny panties, big gold granny panties, lol.

  11. Rob
    July 26, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    Don’t stop the reviews man. They are easily some of your best work and that pic of Eve queffing almost got me fired earlier because I could’t stop laughing. Hopefully you change your mind about the reviews.

    • July 27, 2011 at 1:03 am

      Queffs are hilarious. If enough people like the reviews then maybe I will continue, after all you guys are the ones that read it. We’ll see. To be honest I didn’t think anyone would mention it since this is the skimming generation and no one ever reads anything anymore.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 27, 2011 at 6:02 am

        Most people don’t have time to read. Too much SHYT to do.

        • July 27, 2011 at 7:34 am

          Then what’s the point then?… I QUIT!!!!!

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 27, 2011 at 6:16 pm

            You can’t quit, because YOU’RE…relieved of your duties. Love ya, pop.(pause)

            • Capt. Smooth
              July 27, 2011 at 6:17 pm

              Plus, who’d gonna laugh at my bad jokes?

  12. David
    July 26, 2011 at 10:52 pm

    Good review JCity! I can’t believe you saying you ain’t gonna do the review anymore. I like your reviews. What happened did something piss u off? Whatever u do man God luck to you homey.

    • July 26, 2011 at 11:03 pm

      David :
      Good review JCity! I can’t believe you saying you ain’t gonna do the review anymore. I like your reviews. What happened did something piss u off? Whatever u do man God luck to you homey.

      It’s just a storyline. SPOILER ALERT: JCITY vacates his Internet RAW Review Championship and the site has a tournament to decide the new IRR Champion which is won by me after a tough battle against Shaman’s Harvest. The next week, I write my first RAW Review here and right before the last sentence of my review, JCITY shows up in my RAW Review and teases a showdown to determine the real IRR Champion.

      • July 26, 2011 at 11:05 pm

        And then people start complaining that JCITY wasn’t gone long enough.

    • July 27, 2011 at 1:08 am

      No one pissed me off, believe me you would know if they did cuz I have no problem calling people out. I just thought that I would be doing other types of writing and somewhere down the line I started reviewing shows again and it became routine minus a show here and there.

      I love the storyline and should have though of that, lol. I never worked anything and my attempt to try a work recently kinda fell flat. It was going to be some kind of take over which I’m sure would have been great… oh well.

  13. David
    July 26, 2011 at 11:19 pm

    Awesome spoiler alert. I wonder who’s gonna win the tournament for the the new champion. I would enter if I didn’t do 90% of my web blogging on my phone. And wasn’t so fuckin lazy.

    • July 27, 2011 at 1:10 am

      Lol. If you ever have something you want to get off your chest, be it a rant on a superstar or the business or whatever the doors are always open for a guest spot.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 27, 2011 at 6:03 am

        Love the “storyline” idea!

        • July 27, 2011 at 7:37 am

          You would have loved what I had planned. Oh well.

        • July 27, 2011 at 10:05 am

          My review with JCITY showing up would have been awesome and a little bit confusing:

          That was an interesting RAW this week. I hope you enjoyed my…what’s that music?

          [Editor’s Note: I’M BACK!]

          Jerry Lawler: What?!

          Jerry Lawler! How did you get in my review and why is JCITY here? This is my review now! Get out of thi……

          [Editor’s Note: Sorry about that. This is my site so I had to cut you off there.]

    • July 27, 2011 at 10:00 am

      David :
      Awesome spoiler alert. I wonder who’s gonna win the tournament for the the new champion.

      I just told you…I’m winning the tournament because I’m the best in the world. I’m the best in those columns and even in the comments. Nobody can touch me!

  14. Capt. Smooth
    July 27, 2011 at 5:58 am

    I had no idea what was going on when that theme played. I immediately thought either someone was debuting or returning, but I didn’t expect Punk, even though it made sense.

    It does fit the character though. Maybe, it was a one time thing?

    • July 27, 2011 at 7:41 am

      I hope so. The real question I have though is what happens to the Nexus now? Punk hasn’t publicly abandoned the group, but its obvious that he’s on his own now.

      • Capt. Smooth
        July 27, 2011 at 6:18 pm

        I heard Ryder was going to lead them. (Woo Woo Woo Tang Clan)

        • July 28, 2011 at 2:24 am

          Ryder should just go to Smackdown.

          • Capt. Smooth
            July 28, 2011 at 5:49 am

            He has a bit more protection on RAW with Cena, Miz, Punk, and Ziggler being fans.

            • July 28, 2011 at 11:42 am

              They are all phony’s and are just saying they like him to capitalize on his IWC fans.

              • Capt. Smooth
                July 28, 2011 at 5:09 pm

                Ok, now you’re creeping me out.

  15. July 27, 2011 at 9:55 am

    I had no idea what was going on when that theme played. I immediately thought either someone was debuting or returning, but I didn’t expect Punk, even though it made sense.

    I didn’t know what was going on either. I thought Stone Cold at first but then why not do his “Glass Shatter” theme? Finally I assumed it was Del Rio and this was his plan to confuse the fuck out of Cena.

  16. July 27, 2011 at 10:27 am

    The theme should have played and someone should have thrown an Owen Hart dummy from the rafters. Now that would have been funny as fuck.

  17. July 27, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    Tony Kegger :

    David :
    Awesome spoiler alert. I wonder who’s gonna win the tournament for the the new champion.

    I just told you…I’m winning the tournament because I’m the best in the world. I’m the best in those columns and even in the comments. Nobody can touch me!

    Everyone knows fake interview’s are in these days.

  18. Max
    July 28, 2011 at 7:15 am

    Raw is getting too good for you to stop reviewing it now. If anything stop reviewing TNA.

  19. Capt. Smooth
    July 28, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    We can get your biker gang to help us then celebrate with some ice cream.

    I smell blockbuster!

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