Archive

Archive for August, 2011

THE INFAMOUS Wrestling News Wire: A Suicidal Wrestler’s P.O.V: Matt Hardy’s Unauthorized Suicide Letter

THE INFAMOUS Wrestling News Wire: A Suicidal Wrestler’s P.O.V: Matt Hardy’s Unauthorized Suicide Letter

by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™

Recently, Matt Hardy uploaded what many people would consider a suicide note on his Youtube account. He has since went on record and has claimed that the video was meant to kill off the “new” Matt Hardy and usher in the era of the “old” Matt Hardy we once knew and loved. The problem with all of that is that I could clearly see through Matt’s bullshit. This was yet another lame attempt to get attention for all the wrong reasons. At this point Matt Hardy’s legacy is tarnished beyond repair. I think I would have respected him more if he actually went ahead and killed himself, but no, he pussied out just like I knew he would. I can go on and on about what I think about Matt Hardy’s antics in a vain attempt to serve my own ego, but I refuse to stoop to other hypocritical rip off/con-artists writers level of bullshit and fuckery when it comes to Matt Hardy coverage. So I thought it would be a good idea to resurrect my P.O.V structured column and get into the mind of Matt Hardy and see if I can figure out what the hell is going on in his head when he does the stupid shit that he does.

[Editors Note: A _____’s P.O.V is an experimental writing style from the warped mind of  THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ where he puts himself in somebody else’s shoes and writes from their perspective. JCITY™  is known for his controversial style so it will be a breath of fresh air to see him leave his comfort zone as he invades the consciousness of others to present to you their mind frame through his eyes. In this edition, JCITY™  will delve into the mind of Matt Hardy as he writes the suicide note he should have written if he wasn’t such a big gapping pussyhole and actually had the balls to kill himself. Enjoy.] Read more…

Fuck You And Your Future Endeavors. Just Fuck Off And Die Already!

Fuck You And Your Future Endeavors. Just Fuck Off And Die Already!

by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™

The biggest non-television wrestling related news that happened while I was on vacation was WWE wishing the best in the future endeavors of Vladimir Koslov, DH Smith, Melina and Chris Masters. Gail Kim supposedly quit because she sensed she was going to be let go, but the WWE pulled a fast one on the Asian Sensation and have decided to hold her hostage since Chinese people like sewing wrestling attire for mere pennies an hour. Anyways, there are more useless motherfuckers wandering around WWE land doing nothing of importance or just plain ol’ sucking and taking television time away from more deserving talent and they deserve to be fired. In this post, I will name a few WWE Superstars that just need to fuck off and die already. Instead of naming every talent that I think should kick rocks, I will go with seven WWE Superstars who I wouldn’t miss if they fell off the face of the earth. We can call them “The Future Unemployed Soon To Be Impact Wrestling Wrestlers” or “The Unlucky 7” for short. If this post generates the type of passionate discussion that I envision it doing, then every once in a while I will choose 7 more unlucky bastards and make this a reoccurring themed column. If not, then fuck this stupid ass idea, I’ll just post tits. Sweet glorious TITS!!!!!  Now on to the feature presentation… Read more…

My Exclusive Interview with R. Truth by Shaman’s Harvest

My Exclusive Interview with R. Truth by Shaman’s Harvest

Edited by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ 

Disclaimer: This is intended solely for entertainment purposes only. The content of this interview is purely imaginary and did not really occur. R. Truth is not this crazy in real life, at least I hope not.

One of the best parts of my Infamous Interview’s is, in my opinion, the variety of Superstars being interviewed. Almost every time that a WWE Superstar gives a promotional interview or appears on a Talk Show, it’s one of two people, 1) John Cena speaking of his love of entertaining 8-year-old boys and visiting them when they are at their most vulnerable at hospitals (because that’s not suspicious at all) or 2) The Miz talking about… talking about.. ok, I’ve never bothered to read an interview of his other than the times he has said how much the locker room used to hate him (which they all still do deep down inside after the drunks at PWI accidentally named him “Wrestler of the Year”) and I’ve never watched him once on a silly late night talk show, so I just assume he talks about his homosexual relationship with Michael Cole and living the life of an orange man in speedo’s. Both these guys have no reason to be interviewed other than shameless self promotion with the goal of saying “Sports Entertainment” at least 7 times before it’s over. Someone who really does deserves an interview though is R. Truth. Why isn’t he on Lil’ Jimmy Kimmel?

Ever since he attacked “The Shaman of Shriveled Up Scrotums”, “The Pinnacle of Pathetic Penises”, “The Messiah of Missing Manhood” (do not hesitate to add more in the comment section), John Morrison, while having a cigarette and enjoying a nice bottle of water, he’s been unfairly villainized. He finally realized that just because he was black it didn’t mean he could rap and focused on furthering his own career. R. Truth truly believes there is a conspiracy against him and it doesn’t help when the entire WWE locker room makes him out to be crazy, and we all know that when you’re constantly told you’re insane, you start to really become insane. I’ve patiently waited for a real journalist to let this man speak his mind, but it hasn’t happened. I have no choice but to help this man and let him speak out against the conspiracy. So I decided it was time to call up Booker T and get R. Truth’s address (after hearing about how he spent the entire day deciding between two toilet paper brands and how he finally decided to just wait until one of them goes on sale). Once I contacted R. Truth he said I’d be more than welcome to come down and get the low down. What crazy antics did we get ourselves into? Read it and find the fudge out, and no don’t just skim it!!!!!! I’ll know! Read more…

THE INFAMOUS Wrestling News Wire: You Know You Want To Fap To This, Brother!

THE INFAMOUS Wrestling News Wire: You Know You Want To Fap To This, Brother!

by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™

If for some strange reason you have ever wanted to see Hulk Hogan’s old Viagra infused penis being put to use, Brooke Hogan sucking a dick like the true whore she was destined to be, or an all out Hogan family orgy, then this is your chance to fulfill your sick and twisted fantasies, brother. Porn Company 3rd Degree Films has released a porno titled “Official Hogan Knows Best Parody” and contrary to all the dirtsheets that claim that the movie is coming out soon, I did a bit of reasearch and found out that the movie is already available to purchase by clicking here. After the jump is the official synopsis from 3rd Degree Films and my thoughts on the news of the release of this XXX rated movie, brother.  Read more…

#NowPlaying ~ Exposed! Pro Wrestling’s Greatest Secrets

#NowPlaying ~ Exposed! Pro Wrestling’s Greatest Secrets

Words written by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™

I’ve said this before it was all trendy and people started writing columns about this topic and I’ll fucking say it again, people who try to discredit wrestling as some fake ass bullshit just need to shut the fuck up and eat a dick. Every fucking thing on TV is fake, scripted and/or regulated. News, regulated. Sports, fixed. Reality TV, scripted. So on and so forth. To me, a better word to use other than fake when it comes to describe wrestling is choreographed. Sure spots are called and people know the outcome of the matches before hand, but that doesn’t make wrestling any less intriguing. The matches might be predetermined, but the risks of injuries are fucking REAL. I don’t like wrestlers because they parade around pretending to be something they are not. No motherfucker, I appreciate the sacrifices they make to be on the fucking road most of the year. To be away from friends and family to entertain a bunch of people they don’t fucking know is admirable. To put their bodies through all the training and bumps they take, knowing goddamn fucking well that they can end up paralyzed at any giving time takes heart and dedication and I can appreciate that shit. There is not one motherfucking actor in Hollywood right now that will dedicate himself to his craft the way a wrestler does. Wrestling has no off seasons either, so in my eyes, they are tougher and more conditioned than any athlete that plays with balls for a living. Not only do they have to be physical, but they also have to memorize scripts and all that good shit, so yea, wrestlers are some of the hardest working people (in showbiz) on and off television. To discredit wrestling by saying it’s fake just makes you a hypocrite, especially if you enjoy any other form of scripted entertainment and that includes any and all television shows, movies, music, shiiiiiiiiit, even porn is fucking fake and lacks the true emotion portrayed on film, so yea, just shut the fuck up with that hating ass bullshit.

Anyways, I’m sure we all know wrestling is a scripted sport and if you didn’t know that and are just learning this now then I hate to tell you that Santa Clause isn’t real either. With that out if the way, I have come across a special that was filmed for NBC a few years back that exposes the wrestling industry. These videos take a look at every aspect of professional wrestling and gives you all the secrets it takes to pull of all the incredible matches we have witnessed over the years and the grand spectacle that is professional wrestling as a whole. Enjoy… or go fuck yourself, the choice is yours.  Read more…

Caption This Shyt: Is Matt Hardy Sucking Dick For Crack Again?

Caption This Shyt: Is Matt Hardy Sucking Dick For Crack Again?

by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™

And the Matt Hardy saga continues… I’ve recently stumbled upon this hilarious pic on Matt Hardy’s Twitter page and it appears as if Matt is either sucking off a transsexual prostitute, is once again providing his services for illicit narcotics, or he is trying to lick on Reby Sky’s crab infested vagina. Nobody would drop down to their knees under any circumstances and face somebody else’s genital region unless they were planning on sucking on a little something something, I’m just saying. We already know that Matt Hardy sucks dick for crack, so it doesn’t surprise me to see this kind of behavior coming from the “Cold Blooded” one, but damn, this shit is beginning to get fucking ridiculous. At the rate Matt Hardy is going, he is making his brother Jeff seem like an angel by comparison and that’s saying alot. If only someone could get Shane Helms to intervene in his friends lives instead of enabling them to throw it away. Matt Hardy had all the potential in the world to be one of the greatest Sports Entertainer of all time, but now he is nothing more than the posterboy for everything that can and will go wrong when you start fucking with drugs. I’m never smoking another blunt for as long as I live after witnessing the trainwreck that is Matt Hardy Version Drug Addict. I guess his life served a purpose after all.

*Fades2Black*

Read more…

#NowPlaying ~ Madonna “Human Nature”

 

#NowPlaying ~ Madonna “Human Nature”

Words written by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, my highly controversial post titled The True Story Of What Matt Hardy Did The Day He Got Fired From TNA has been met with mixed reactions. While some found the adventures of Matt Hardy to be quite hilarious, there are those who were disgusted at the vile nature of the post. From comments to death threats in emails, I have not received this much of a negative response since the days I used to write for therealshyt.com. While I can understand the frustrations that post evoked, numbers don’t lie. It was a hit and is one of the fastest rising viewed post on the site, and even if it wasn’t, artistically, I fucking love it. It’s one of the top 5 things I have ever written since I started blogging. One of the main problems I think people had with the post though is that they thought I wrote it with the intentions of being funny, when in reality, I wanted to tell a sick, twisted, dark and deranged story. A story that was not meant to make fun of Matt Hardy, but meant to shed light on the negative aspects of his life and hopefully wake him the fuck up in order for him to get the help he so desperately needs. One thing I did find funny though is how some people demand I take down the post and issue and apology and to them I say, GO FUCK YOURSELVES!!!! I will say and write whatever the fuck I want to say and/or write about. I live in a country where I have the freedom of speech and I will use and abuse that fucking right until it no longer exist and even then, I would fight to the death to get that right reinstated.

Some people were disgusted by all the mentions of illicit narcotics and sex in that post, but guess what? Like it or not, people get raped every fucking day. People contemplate suicide every fucking day and they sure as hell use drugs and have sex every fucking day. Shiiiiiiiiiiit, I do drugs (and by drugs I mean weed) and have sex every fucking day. So fucking what? It’s fucking life. Am I some kind of monster because I don’t live what you would consider a “clean and acceptable” lifestyle? Not everyone lives in a safety bubble sheltered from the reality that goes on around them. What the fuck do you people want me to write about? Rainbows, flowers and sunshine? Get the fuck outta here with that shit. With that being said, I have good news and bad news regarding this site. The good news is that not everything I write will be as controversial as the Matt Hardy post was. The bad news is that if and when I do write another controversial post, it might just be waaaaaaay more fucked up than anything you have ever read in your whole fucking life, and that includes the Matt Hardy blog. I don’t mind the difference of opinions whatsoever, but don’t fucking tell me to take anything I wrote down from MY site. I will never apologize for speaking my mind so fuck that shit and to the people sending me death threats, come and fucking kill me already you stupid motherfuckers. I ain’t fucking scared to die so none of you bitches can ever strike an ounce of fear in my motherfucking heart. Bring it, I’ll be waiting. Until then, just play the fucking song…

*Fades2Black*