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The True Story of Alberto Del Rio by Shaman’s Harvest

The True Story of Alberto Del Rio by Shaman’s Harvest

Edited by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ 

Disclaimer: The following story is completely fabricated and contains homoerotic content, sexual and pornographic situations, racial stereotyping, violence, and boy bands. If any of the above offends you to the point where you will yell at me in the comment section, do not read any further, but I hope you do because I think this is the greatest thing I’ve ever written.

WWE portrays Alberto Del Rio as a rich Mexican Aristocrat who owns farms and plantations with hundreds of underpaid workers; someone who owns a never-ending supply of cars where each one cost more than your house; someone who’s so rich he could fund the Mexican Olympic team, but still feels the need to work for the WWE for some strange reason. You know what I say to that? Shooky Dooky Quack Quack that is mega bullshit. I think it’s time you learn who your WWE Champion really is. I happen to know who Alberto Del Rio really is and I know how he really got to the WWE. We here at theinfamousjcity.com like to tell the truth. THEINFAMOUSJCITY™ told you all the truth with what happened to Matt Hardy the day he got fired from TNA, some of you didn’t like that, but it needed to be said, just like this needs to be said. So here it is, the true story of Alberto Del Rio!

Location: Desteené City, Mexico.  July 2, 2009.

The sun’s rays escaped through the gaps in the clouds early Saturday morning. They danced through the sky, diminishing the blanket of darkness that was ever so intact hours ago. Inside a small run down hut in the corner of Desteené City, Mexico, the sun’s rays displayed acts of repetition, and just as they did with the clouds, the beautiful sun’s rays ever so gracefully made their way through the bullet and gloryholes in the side of the hut. Many rays missed their target, but one lucky ray found its way to its destination.

Alberto: Wha…what? Awe, the sun. When I was a little Latino my mama used to always tell me, “Alby, someday when you get older and find a good job and a nice lady, you can get out of this awful town and raise a happy famillia.”

Alberto looked around his bedroom, which was also his kitchen, living room, dining room, laundry room and bathroom. He mindlessly looked at the gaping holes, the dirty clothes, the nails sticking out of the walls and his dirt floor.

Alberto: My mama was wrong.

Alberto eventually rolled out of bed and began searching for some clothes. He picked up a pair of old denim jeans, they haven’t fit him correctly since he was 17 and they were full of white stains, practically falling apart, but what could he do? He then turned his focus to a shirt. Now Alberto wasn’t urgent to cover up, he had acquired a great build from all his years of field work, but his master had expressed his dislike and discomfort for Alberto never wearing a shirt, so now he had some whip marks to cover up for disobedience. Alberto was without a shirt, so he tied together some dish rags, wiped his hands under his armpits then ran his hands through his hair. He couldn’t remember the last time he had washed it. February? He thought to himself as he tried to wiped out the visible dandruff. He was now on his way. Like always, his door broke down as he opened it, so he spent the ten minutes jamming it back into place. Once he finally got it, he hurried to
work. He couldn’t be late.

He walked through the path of dead bodies and taco shells as he did every other day. See, Alberto would always stop by a certain household. In there lived the resident queers of Desteené City, Ricardo Rodriguez and Paco Sanchez. The entire city shunned these two and anyone who was caught talking to them would be exiled. Alberto knew the rules and had to follow them, he couldn’t afford to be shunned by the same men he worked 16 hours a day with, they were all he had.

But something was different this time. As Alberto slowly walked by he noticed something he hadn’t seen before, Ricardo and Paco were outside during the day. They usually stayed inside to avoid the “El Fago” slurs, but today they were both outside. Paco was wearing a tight pair of underwear and a “Kiss The Cock” apron, but Alberto wasn’t interested in Paco, Ricardo was who really caught his eye. He was wearing a loud pink tank top as well as cut off jeans that only covered half of his milky white thighs. Alberto couldn’t take his eyes off him. Paco and Ricardo were out together washing their one mode of transportation, (because you know you can’t drink Mexican water unless you want to crap out half of your spinal cord) a bicycle build for two. They had the radio blasting the Backstreet Boys “I Want It That Way”.

Ricardo and Paco: Don’t wanna hear you say…

Ricardo: Ain’t nothing but a heartache…

Paco: Ain’t nothing but a mistake…

Ricardo: Don’t wanna hear you say…

Paco: I never wanna hear you say…

Ricardo and Paco: I want it that way (point to eachother)

Tell me why…

Ain’t nothing but a heartache…

Tell me why…

Ain’t nothing but a mistake…

Tell me why…

I never wanna hear you say…

Ricardo: Don’t wanna hear you say it…

Paco: I want it that way (points at Riacrdo)…

Ricardo: I want it that way (points at… Alberto)…

Alberto stood there in silence. He couldn’t believe it, a man with the voice of an angel, singing and pointing at him? He, along with Paco were in shock.

Paco: Ricardo?

Alberto thought to himself, he remembered what his mama always used to tell him, “Alberto, one day you get out of this place, you meet a pretty lady, like Rosita, she’s pretty. You meet a pretty girl and you give me lots of grandchildren.” Alberto always told his mom he would do that, but deep down, he couldn’t. He never told this to anyone, but he was gayer than Joel Schumacher putting nipples and crotchplates on a Batsuit, and he loved Ricardo. He always thought he would stay in the closet his entire life, but he stood there facing Ricardo who had pointed to him and he wanted him. Alberto finally decided what he was going to do.

Alberto: Ricardo! How are you doing today, huh?

Paco: Look essay, we don’t want any trouble.

Alberto: Oh no no no, it’s not like that at all, I just wanted to say hi.

Ricardo: Hola Alberto…

Paco: Shouldn’t you be getting to work?

Alberto: Ah, yes. Goodbye.

Ricardo: Bye Alberto… Del Riiiiiiiiiiio!

Ricardo looked embarrassed for saying his name like that. Alberto quickly walked off as he heard Ricardo and Paco arguing in the background. Alberto walked away confused and embarrassed. Was he ready to accept that he was gay? Did Ricardo like him? What if someone saw? He knew he wouldn’t be safe if someone saw him, he couldn’t let an incident like this happen again.

All day while he was working his masters fields all he could think about was Ricardo. He talked to no one else on the plantation, his thoughts were too scrambled, his mind wasn’t right and as a result he was whipped for his sloppy work and then he was sent home early, without pay for the day. But what’s 25 cents? Eh?

Alberto was now home lying in his bed, his mind still clouded, he hoped that listening to some radio could ease his thoughts. As he was flipping through his 4 stations, he found an old Smackdown broadcast being aired. Alberto always enjoyed listening to WWE, it gave him a sense of excitement he hadn’t experienced since childhood. Michael Cole was on commentary.

Cole: Oh, and Jericho is on the middle rope and here comes Rey… 619! 619 connects! Rey’s going up top…vintage East Coast Pop! 1! 2! 3! And Rey wins!

Alberto: That Rey Mysterio. He gets on my last nerve. If I ever seen him I would…

Ricardo: Alberto?

Alberto: What? Who… who’s there?

Ricardo: Alberto, it’s me, Ricardo.

Alberto: Ricardo?

Ricardo: Yes. Alberto. About earlier today…

Alberto: Sorry about that…

Ricardo: No… don’t be. Alberto, I’ve always liked you. I’ve noticed you checking me out. I know you like me too.

Alberto: No… No! That’s not my destiny…

Ricardo: Destiny… he do whatever he wants… and this is what he wants…

Alberto: You know what… you’re right…

Ricardo ended up staying with Alberto all night, doing things that I will not describe because I rather not try to imagine them up, but just know, it definitely wasn’t a PG night. It got gayer in there than an Orlando Jordan prostate exam.

The next morning Ricardo woke Alberto up.

Ricardo: Alberto, Alberto, time for work, essay.

Alberto: Huh? Oh yeah, ok.

Ricardo: I have to get back to Paco.

Alberto: Paco! What would Paco think about this?

Ricardo: Alberto, I never loved Paco. I just didn’t know if I could wait for you forever. I’ll tell Paco soon.

Once at work Alberto’s co-workers seemed worried about him. They hadn’t heard much from him in days, he hadn’t been talking. Alberto and Anarquia were collecting coffee beans when Anarquia decided to act.

Anarquia: Eh, homes. What’s been up with you lately, mang?

Alberto: What? Nothing…

Anarquia: What do you mean nothing, mang? You’re acting different. I just want to make sure you ain’t making any mistakes.

Alberto: Like I said, I’m fine. Now come on, we got to finish this.

Anarquia: Yeah, yeah…

Once the day was over, Alberto got back to his home, like always, exhausted, hungry, and dirty. When he got back he was surprised to see Ricardo there again.

Ricardo: Alberto, you look awful. Are you ok?

Alberto: Yeah, this is what you need to do to make an honest pay.

Ricardo: What if I told you there was another way?

Alberto: What do you mean?

Ricardo: I know this guy, he makes videos and he plans to get rich off them. He needs stars to work for cheap, and he said there isn’t anyone around here interested so I told him I was interested.

Alberto: In what?

Ricardo: Adult videos.

Alberto: Ricardo… no it isn’t right.

Ricardo: You’re right. I just didn’t want you to have to work so hard for nothing when you could make so much more.

Alberto: How much more?

Ricardo: Twenty times more.

Alberto: Maybe we could go talk to this guy after all.

Alberto and Ricardo sat together and spoke for another 20 minutes before Ricardo had to go. Ricardo still hadn’t broke it off with Paco yet and he was starting to get suspicious. Paco knew Ricardo was acting different, he feared for the worst, he would get his revenge on Alberto for this.

The next day after Alberto was finished in the fields, he met with Ricardo behind the old run down worker’s port-a-potty. They were both very anxious. Alberto knew it wasn’t safe to be seen with Ricardo. Desteené citizens didn’t take to well to homosexuals, he knew if he was caught, he could never work another day without abuse or be able to sleep another night without fear. Ricardo was also worried, he still hadn’t broke it off with Paco and as far as Alberto knew, Ricardo told Paco last night.

Ricardo: So are you ready to do this Alberto?

Alberto: Eh, I don’t know Ricardo, I’m still having doubts.

Ricardo: Think of all the pesos, Alberto! This way we don’t have to hide our love.

Alberto: Let’s go, Ricardo! Desteene… he is calling.

Ricardo and Alberto shuffled through the fenced off back ally and were on their way. As that happened, the port-a-potty door creaked open, and a man returned to work.

After a 5 minute ride on Ricardo’s bicycle that was built for two, the two arrived at an old abandoned warehouse, Alberto knew he must have passed this place 1,000 times on his way to the corner store. He, and everyone else for that matter, always believed it was a run down meth lab, so no one dared to step inside.

Alberto: Ricardo! What are we doing here? Isn’t this that meth lab?

Ricardo: That’s what they want you to believe…

Ricardo led Alberto to the back of the warehouse. It stunk of animal feces and regret. Ricardo unlatched the door and led Alberto in, who couldn’t believe what he was seeing. This wasn’t a meth lab at all, it was beautiful. The entire warehouse was clean and crisp, there was air conditioning, tons of flowery wall dividers and at least 5 pink heart shape beds.

Miguel: Ah, Ricardo! Nice to see you.

Ricardo: Miguel, this is my man, Alberto.

Alberto: Eh… hi…hello. So this… This is a…

Miguel: Porn studio.

Alberto: Oh…

Ricardo: It’s ok Alberto.

Alberto: I don’t know about this.

Miguel: Now come on Alberto. Ricardo said he had talked to you about this, all the fame, all the money.

Alberto: I feel… I feel cheap.

Miguel: No no no, you see, everything we do here is high-class. This isn’t cheap Porno. Alberto, this is more of a soap opera. I want this to be a story of forbidden love.

Ricardo: This is exciting!

Miguel: I have your characters already planed out. Ricardo, you will be the poor Mexican field worker. Alberto, you will be a king, like royalty. You will be the great Albert Of The River… no, the great Alberto Del Rio, the owner of all the farms and plantations in Mexico. You will have a beautiful home with hundreds of workers. You will come from the bloodlines of Kings and have the finest education possible. You will be a Mexican Aristocrat who can buy whatever his heart desires… except for true love. You and Ricardo will finally realize you were meant for each other and achieve your destiny in a city that’s all about it.

Alberto: …Desteené’s forbidden love.

Miguel: You and Ricardo will star in, “Destiny City, A Story of Forbidden Love.”

Ricardo and Alberto: Let’s do this.


Location: Stamford Connecticut, USA McMahon Manner. August 24, 2009.

Vince McMahon was sitting in his office, he had just came back from his birthday bash with DX and was ready to enjoy some personal time. He sat down by his computer and Google searched: Cocks. See, as we all know, Vince loves big strong men in speedo’s so this was a weekly ritual for him. He just started to find some really good pics when his door opened.

Linda: Vince…what do you want for dinner?

Vince: AH! Linda! I… I was just looking.. looking at… um… Sable! Yeah I was looking at some smoking hot pictures of Sable who I am so sexually turned on by. I mean, look at that ass, and those perfectly plump and round tits. That body. I’d fucking hit that until all the Viagra was gone. God that’s hot. She turns me on.

Linda: I know she does dear, now can I make you anything?

Vince: Yeah, cock… I mean COOK! Cook me some penises… sausages… NOTHING! Nothing, Linda… I’m not hungry, thank you anyway. Now if you could just leave me with… Sable.

Linda: Ok Vince.

Vince: Jeez, what do you have to do to get privacy around here… now what’s this? OH MY… happy birthday to me.


Location: Desteené City, Mexico. September 9, 2009.

Alberto and Ricardo were now living large. While Alberto continued to work at the plantation to keep up apperances, Alberto and Ricardo were, for the first time in their lives, well off financially. Destiny City had become an Internet Porn sensation all over Europe and parts of the United States, and since no one in Desteené owned a computer, Alberto and Ricardo seemed to be safe. Ricardo was now waiting at Alberto’s home for him to return. The two of them still couldn’t be seen together for Alberto’s safety. Just a few days ago Paco had “El Fago” spray painted all over his house and Ricardo was kicked out of the corner store becuase the clerk didn’t want “his kind” there, so they only were together in secrecy. Alberto was on his way home from a wrestling show, which he could now afford to go to, the main event saw Mistico defeating Hernandez. Alberto loved the action of wrestling, but what he loved more was how they could become stars without hiding from the public, like him and Ricardo have done.

Alberto was now on his way home in his “new” car he had restored from the junk yard. Usually on his way home he would stop by Anarquia’ place, but this time as he came along, Anarquia took his 9 kids inside and didn’t even speak to Alberto, let alone make eye contact. Strange, but that wasn’t important to him. Tonight was the night Ricardo was supossed to tell Paco the truth. Alberto wasn’t going to wait any longer.

Alberto: Honey, I am how you say? Home!

Ricardo: Alberto! I’ve missed you so much.

Alberto: So…

Ricardo: So what?

Alberto: Did you tell him? You did tell him, right?

Ricardo: Oh, Paco! Ummm… you see…

Alberto: Ricardo!

Ricardo: Yes! I told him Alberto….

Alberto: How did he take it?

Ricardo: Ummm, not good.

Alberto: Eh, he will get over it, eventually. Desteeneeeeeeee! He do whatever he wants to do.

Ricardo: Yes. So tonight is the last episode to this season of Destiny City. You ready?

Alberto: Yes, Ricardo. I’m so glad you convinced me to do this. If I hadn’t listen to you I’d still be living in a run down hurt, with a terrible job, and no one to share my feelings with! I owe you so much Ricardo.

Alberto and Ricardo were now on their way once again. It wasn’t safe to go out in the middle of the night in Desteené, but if was their best bet of not getting discovered. Like they had been doing for a while, the two queers snuck into the warehouse and were ready to spit in the face of Jesus once again. It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

Miguel: Finally, I was worried that you two wouldn’t make it. Ok, so tonight will be the big finalé. Alberto, you finally accept that Ricardo is right for you and he will be invited into to Kingdom to rule with you, now get into bed.

Alberto: I can’t wait… but you, you already knew that. (wink)

Ricardo: Alberto, even I think that’s gay.

Miguel: Places people, now…

Just then someone emerged through the door, cutting the producer off in mid-sentence. The man stood there, crying while furious at the same time. He tried to act as tough as a man in 5 inch orange shorts could be.

Paco: Ricardo! How could you?

Ricardo: Paco!

Alberto: Ricardo! What’s going on here? Paco, he told you it’s over. You’re not a part of our desteeneeeee!

Miguel: Ok, what’s going on here?

Paco: He told me nothing! You stole Ricardo from me. Now… now you’re gonna die.

Paco ran up to Alberto and started the gayest slapfight in the history of mankind. Ricardo stood crying in the corner while Miguel decided it was just best to leave the three alone. Alberto tried to reason with Paco, but he realized it was no use, he had to fight back.

Alberto latched onto Paco’s arm mid-slap and threw his leg over his arm, Alberto locked the Cross Arm-Breaker on Paco. Paco screamed in pain as Ricardo tried to pull Alberto off.

Alberto: You going to get your desteeneeeee now, Paco!

Paco: Ehehehehe… ouch… please!

Ricardo: Alberto, enough!

Without warning a car crashed through the side of the warehouse, the noise was unbelieveable and the set was destroyed, electical wires sparked as the sprinkler system went off. All three men were in shock.

Alberto: What the hell! No…

A man, dressed in all black, equiped with a banadana, a pair of sunglasses and a butcher knife stepped out of the car he stole from Alberto’s home.

Anarquia: I knew it, homes! I warned you not to make any mistakes, essay! I hoped I hear you wrong in the port-a-potty, but now I can see you are just as bad as these two fageto’s, homes. Now, you have to die.

Alberto: Oh no! No! No! No! How could this happen?

Ricardo: Anarquia, there’s only one of you and two of us, we can take you and your hate.

Anarquia: You sure about that homes?

Anarquia pointed out towards the building where he destroyed the wall, out there were at least 30 to 40 angry citizens of Desteené with pitch forks and torches.

Anarquia: You freaks better get out of our town. GET THEM!

Alberto: RUN!

Alberto, Ricardo and Paco frantically escaped the building. They ran for their lives as they were hunted like animals by and angry mob.

Paco: We’re gonna die!

Ricardo: Keep running!

Desteené Citizen: No use running! You can’t hide fairies!

The chase continued as the three men were running out of steam, they tried to cut through a forest, but Ricardo struck his foot on a tree stump and brutally crashed down to the Earth, cracking his head open.

Alberto: Ricardo!

Ricardo: Go! Go on without me.

Alberto: I won’t leave you!

Paco: I’m getting out of here.

As Paco disappeared into the forest, Alberto and Ricardo were sitting ducks.

Anarquia: There they are! You gonna die now. Surround them.

Alberto: Well, Ricardo… I… I guess this is it.

Anarquia: Ricardo first, get him-AHHHHHHH!

From the skies above, a jet shot down the angry citizens as Anarquia fleed into the bushes. As the jet lowered down, Alberto could make out the symbol. The WWE symbol was painted outside the jet and inside stood Vince McMahon equiped with a machine gun, war paint and a bandana.

Vince: Lower the ladder! I’m coming Alberto!

Vince continued fending off the people, blasting them with his machine gun showing no mercy, proving that a flaming homosexual could be badass and not just a grab-ass. Screams of pain were drowned out by the massive gun and Vince’s screaming. The people of Desteené dropped like flies as a rope ladder lowered down slowly.

Vince: Climb up!

Alberto and Ricardo frantically began to climb the corporate ladder.

Ricardo: We’ll never make it alive.

Alberto: We will. It is our desteeneeee to make it to the top of the ladder!

The two continued to climb the ladder until they reached the top, Vince extended his hand, Alberto grabbed onto Vince’s hand as he and Ricardo made it to the top of the ladder without having to fight the agree citizens of Desteené, leaving him unproved in battle, yet still at the top of the ladder. The angry citizens tried to climb the ladder, but Vince shot them down. Alberto recognized some. Vince shot down Zackez Ryderez, Morrisonito, Kofïę, Zigglerino, and Swaggerantè. McIntyréz almost made it to the top of the ladder, but he was shot down as fast as he ascended.

Vince: I got you guys, you’re ok now.

Paco: WAIT!!!!!

As the jet was flying away, Paco emerged from the forest, he tried to make his way up the ladder, but the remaining citizens got a hold of him. Tthe pulled him down and brutally stabbed him to death with their pitch forks as blood and guts ran through his mutilated body faster than a Divas match.

Vince: We gotta go, let’s move.

Vince’s men had helped Ricardo and Alberto. They were now resting.

Vince: Alberto Del Rio?

Alberto: Yes?

Vince: My name is Vince McMahon and…

Alberto: Vince! I know who you are. I love Sports Entertainments!

Vince: Sports Entertainment. I like you. Alberto, I have seen Destiny City…

Alberto: Really?

Vince: Of course! It was the greatest thing I’ve ever saw. I had to find you and meet you. It looks like I made it here at the right time.

Alberto: Thank you so much!

Vince: Alberto, I have seen your charm in your videos, I have seen your passion, your agility, your body, your personality, your character, made up or not, Alberto, I want you in the WWE!

Alberto: Oh! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! It’s my desteeneeeeeee!

Ricardo: Good for you, Alberto.

Alberto looked to his life partner, he saw sadness in his eyes disguised by that false happiness that you plaster onto your face when someone succeeds and you don’t.

Alberto: Umm..what about Ricardo?

Vince: He doesn’t really have the body I’m looking for.

Alberto thought to himself… he finally remembered the one talent Ricardo had that Alberto loved.

Alberto: Vince. I think Ricardo would make a great ring announcer! He has an amazing voice! He could announce my entrance. What do you say?

Vince: I don’t know…we have an annou….

Ricardo: Tell me why…

Ain’t nothing but a heartache…

Tell me why…

Ain’t nothing but a mistake…

Tell me why…

I never wanna hear you say…

I want it that way!

Alllllllllberrrrrrtooooooo…..Deeeeeeeeellllll Rrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiio!!!!

Vince giggled like a school girl who had just heard Justin Bieber tweeted that he had a good day.

Vince: That… that was amazing! You’re hired! You both are. Guys, we’re going to America!

Alberto, Ricardo, Vince: I never wanna hear you say…

I want it that way…

I want it thaaaaaat wayyyyyyy!

Ahahahaha.

The three men enjoyed a laugh as the WWE private jet made its way to Stamford with WWE’s two newest employees. The jet slowly disappeared into the sunset as the day ended. Here began a new chapter for the lives of Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez.

And that’s the true story of Alberto Del Rio, and how he really got to be the boring, overrated, blatantly homosexual, (but not as blatant as his flamer butt buddy, the pervertedly creepy Ricardo Rodriguez) undeserving champion he is today. I hope you enjoyed it.

And before we go, let’s do this one more time!

  1. September 2, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    This is so fucking stupid, gay, retarded, dumb, epic and awesome that I have no idea how to feel about it just yet…

    This story needs a big time [||]PAUSE though…

  2. September 2, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    Cool…I got some stuff to do but I’ll read this when I get back.

  3. September 2, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    Hmmm…I haven’t started reading yet but the concept looks like a rip-off of my “After RAW” column. I need to get my columns trademarked or patented or copyrighted or whatever legal thing I can do to a column concept.

    • September 2, 2011 at 6:01 pm

      Trust me, NOTHING has ever been written like this in the IWC. I couldn’t believe what the fuck I was reading while I was editing this shit.

    • September 2, 2011 at 6:06 pm

      Okay…this isn’t really a rip-off of my column. If anything, it’s a rip-off of JCITY’s POV column but written as if it was a movie script.

  4. September 2, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    This was about 4,300 words…YIKES!

    Shaman,

    This was really good. Really long but I enjoyed every single word. Like I said before, you have a crazy creative imagination. It wasn’t really offensive…just really good and really funny. “El fago” was funny because that’s obviously not the correct spanish translation for “the fag”. Not sure if this is your best work because I still really liked your R-Truth interview but I’m impressed how enjoyable this was despite being very long.

    by the way, JCITY missed a lot of the errors but whatever…I knew what Shaman meant.

  5. September 2, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ :
    This story needs a big time [||]PAUSE though…

    Yeah this might have been the gayest thing I’ve ever read here and there has been A LOT of gay stuff on this site.

  6. September 2, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Now you all see the truth. His WWE gimmick is nothing more than his gay porn star gimmick that McMahon found when he was looking at his gay porn that his wife knows about but pretends she doesn’t.

    Your WWE Champion everyone!

  7. September 2, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    Tony Kegger :
    Hmmm…I haven’t started reading yet but the concept looks like a rip-off of my “After RAW” column. I need to get my columns trademarked or patented or copyrighted or whatever legal thing I can do to a column concept.

    Never read it.

  8. Capt. Smooth
    September 2, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    Any time you get boy bands involved with something wrestling related, it gets a thumbs up from me. I just love random shit like that. Great work!

    • September 2, 2011 at 9:53 pm

      Is it gay that I have that Backstreet Boys album that features that song? I bought it when I was like 11 and back when NSYNC vs. BSB was the Boy Bands version of the Monday Night Wars. Whatever happened to pop star bands? I don’t miss it but I think the Jonas Brothers are the only ones left.

      • September 2, 2011 at 10:09 pm

        lol I like the song, that’s why I used it.

        • September 2, 2011 at 10:17 pm

          I like it too bro.

          • Capt. Smooth
            September 3, 2011 at 10:27 am

            We nust need to accept that “pop” or “boy band” doesn’t mean bad. It’s just fun music.

  9. Capt. Smooth
    September 2, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    I still say WWE should’ve given Del Rio a Mexican soapstar gimmick. Would’ve been gold!

  10. September 2, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    Backstreet’s Back.

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 2, 2011 at 8:32 pm

      Still can’t beat the original “boy” band, The Jackson 5.

  11. Johnboy
    September 2, 2011 at 8:48 pm

    The wierdest thing I’ve ever read in the iwc. I’m not sure wether I like it or not!!

  12. Dave
    September 2, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    Ummm…….. Nope! Sorry Shaman I didn’t like it. You wrote your ass off i’ll give u that. It seemed scattered and long winded. It was kinda hard to follow at times. And I didn’t really like the concept of ADR and the whole gay porn thing. Sorry bruh.

    • September 3, 2011 at 12:12 am

      Well……go to hell then! No, not really. I knew I’d either be a hit or a miss with people.

      But you have to admit at least Ricardo looks like a cheap Mexican gay porn star.

      • Dave
        September 3, 2011 at 12:32 am

        Yes he does! Thanks for not getting upset. If it had been AJ a bunch of his gay ball washers would’ve chimed in telling me that I was criticizing a masterpiece and that I don’t know shit.

        • Capt. Smooth
          September 3, 2011 at 10:29 am

          I will never look at Ricardo the same way again!

      • Faces of Solie
        September 6, 2011 at 12:55 pm

        What’s funny is that Ricardo Rodriguez was a porn star extra for a time. Legit.

        • Capt. Smooth
          September 6, 2011 at 5:08 pm

          It burns! It burns! It burns!

          • Faces of Solie
            September 7, 2011 at 11:07 am

            • Capt. Smooth
              September 7, 2011 at 6:15 pm

              Dickardo

              • Capt. Smooth
                September 7, 2011 at 6:15 pm

                No, it’s Dick-Hardo.

  13. September 3, 2011 at 12:13 am

    Where’s Alan been lately?

    • Alan
      September 3, 2011 at 12:19 am

      At the beach dude! The waves are perfect this time of the year, ahaha. The ocean is soothing for my soul bro, aha.

      • September 3, 2011 at 1:15 am

        Your life sounds like one long vacation.

        • Capt. Smooth
          September 3, 2011 at 10:30 am

          As long as you’re not hurting anyone, more power to you.

          • September 3, 2011 at 7:36 pm

            Ahaha, it is Shaman dude. You bros should come to Cali and catch some waves with me sometime! And if I posted this like three times, my bad bro. My computer is being really weird, ahaha.

  14. September 3, 2011 at 9:27 am

    Vince loves cocks.

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 3, 2011 at 10:31 am

      Kentucky Fried Cocks? Uh-oh!

  15. September 3, 2011 at 11:07 am

    Shaman’s Harvest :
    Your life sounds like one long vacation.

    It does! I’m jealous!

  16. Rob
    September 3, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    This was awesome and I will never look at Alberto Del Rio the same way again.

  17. September 3, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    These must take ages to do, do they?

    • September 3, 2011 at 9:28 pm

      I just worked on it while I was bored over a 3 day period.

  18. September 3, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    Well, this was quite the interesting story Shaman dude, ahaha. I remember Vince Macdonalds from when he did commentary in the WWF!! Awesome dude!

  19. September 3, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    Alan, WTF? Hahahaha. Those were some crazy pantastic adventures. I can’t wait to see how your double date goes! I wouldn’t trust Ima. You’re just lucky Seymour found you when he did or that would be some awkward sex to watch.

    I would comment there but there’s no profile that works for me. Could you add an option to just put your name and email down or something?

  20. Capt. Smooth
    September 4, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Lordsofpain.net is reporting that shots were fired in the parking lot last night after a house show in Trenton, New Jersey. Fans were saying that Cena, Del Rio and Ricardo were rushed back into the build for safety.

    • September 4, 2011 at 3:09 pm

      To be honest I was only aiming for Del Rio and Ricardo, Cena had nothing to worry about.

      • Capt. Smooth
        September 4, 2011 at 5:52 pm

        HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

        • September 4, 2011 at 10:33 pm

          Oh no! People should leave their guns at home and not try and hurt the people! Wrastlers can’t wrastle on nearly as well if they been shot in the leg, ahaha.

          • September 4, 2011 at 11:40 pm

            It’s true, they did a study on it.

            • Capt. Smooth
              September 5, 2011 at 9:42 am

              Well, this was after the show. But I know what you’ll mean.

  21. September 4, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    I probably prefer this site more than TJR. That Andrew Johnson thinks he is the funniest thing going!

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 4, 2011 at 6:15 pm

      But I thought I was?!?!?(kidding)

  22. Capt. Smooth
    September 5, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    BREAKING NEWS!!!: Lordsofpain.net is reporting that Hugh Jackman will guest host RAW on Sept. 19th. I thought they were done with guest hosts. At least this is a pretty big name.

    • September 5, 2011 at 5:25 pm

      The Big Bad Wolf!!

      • Capt. Smooth
        September 5, 2011 at 7:32 pm

        Wolverine!!!

        • September 5, 2011 at 7:56 pm

          I wonder if he’ll show up to Raw as Wolverine….him and Orton could have an epic staredown.

          • Capt. Smooth
            September 5, 2011 at 8:03 pm

            They might have Santino show up and think he’s SpiderMan or something.

  23. Mr.Redlight
    September 5, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    watching randy ortons dvd right now its pretty sick. Way better than mysterios

  24. September 5, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    I just thought of my new nickname for Zack Ryder…Brozo the Clown. It’s genius…that’s what I’m calling him until I respect him as someone more than just a funny jobber.

    • Alan
      September 5, 2011 at 11:27 pm

      Ahaha, BroZo. Good one dude!

    • September 5, 2011 at 11:55 pm

      Zack Ryder’s awesome. He’s funnier than The Miz, has way more T-shirt sales than Del Rio, and draws more money than Cody Rhodes (no one cares about Cody Rhodes, he doesn’t even have a shirt).

      Maybe i’ll write a column on how great Zack Ryder is. What a young talent! What an athlete! What personality! What a future! The Future: Woo Woo Woo You Know It, Long Island Iced Z, Zack Ryder.

  25. September 5, 2011 at 11:31 pm

    ha…it’s even got a “Z” in it…that’s makes it even better! I should tweet it to Michael Cole.

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 6, 2011 at 5:41 am

      Brozo The Clown does have a nice ring to it.

  26. Capt. Smooth
    September 6, 2011 at 5:42 am

    I guess it’s official, WWE Network in 2012!

    • September 6, 2011 at 10:47 am

      Yeah I saw that…I wonder what the details are.

      • Capt. Smooth
        September 6, 2011 at 5:09 pm

        Hope I don’t have to pay extra.

        • September 6, 2011 at 7:39 pm

          You know you’ll have too.

          • Capt. Smooth
            September 6, 2011 at 7:40 pm

            Don’t remind me!

            • September 6, 2011 at 8:42 pm

              It’ll probably be expensive too and feature a lot of Raw rerun’s and WWE movie trailers.

              • Capt. Smooth
                September 6, 2011 at 8:57 pm

                The Best of Brayden Walker?

                • September 6, 2011 at 9:48 pm

                  The entire Network will just be highlights from the Chaperone and Khali matches.

                  • Capt. Smooth
                    September 7, 2011 at 5:47 am

                    Khali Kiss Cam in the midnight hour.

  27. September 6, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Hey I redesigned my blog…I’d appreciate it if anyone gave me feedback on how it looks. Thanks.

    http://howiwouldbookit.blogspot.com/

    • September 6, 2011 at 11:25 am

      It’s nice.

      • Capt. Smooth
        September 6, 2011 at 5:09 pm

        Reminds me of Myspace.

        • September 6, 2011 at 5:13 pm

          is that a good thing or bad thing?

          • Capt. Smooth
            September 6, 2011 at 5:17 pm

            I don’t know. I’ve never been on a social network.

            • Capt. Smooth
              September 6, 2011 at 5:20 pm

              It kinda has a 3D effect.

              • Alan
                September 6, 2011 at 5:25 pm

                I like it dude!

  28. September 6, 2011 at 11:24 am

    Where the hell does JCITY keep disappearing too?

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 6, 2011 at 5:10 pm

      Last time I remember hearing from him, he was about to start a “100,000 hit” column.

      • Alan
        September 6, 2011 at 5:26 pm

        Maybe he went on another rock climbing fun timing vacation? ahaha, hope he’s having fun!!

        • Capt. Smooth
          September 6, 2011 at 5:28 pm

          Maybe, he’s the one who framed Kurt Angle?

  29. September 6, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    lol…Kevin Nash as Super Shredder! I didn’t know that was him.

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 6, 2011 at 5:12 pm

      You didn’t? I’ve known that for years! Ninja Ninja Rap! Ninja Ninja Rap!

      • September 6, 2011 at 10:58 pm

        Kevin Nash is still alive? Ahaha, sweet! Imember him from that time I watched TMZ!

  30. September 6, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    At 103,000 now 🙂

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 6, 2011 at 7:12 pm

      lol

  31. Mr.Redlight
    September 7, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    before this gets out big. Im going to watch monster brawl no matter how bad i hear it is

    • September 7, 2011 at 6:58 pm

      I saw the trailer for Monster Brawl. I laughed out loud when I heard that one of the Monsters is named “Witch Bitch”. I’m predicting that the Mummy wins.

  32. Capt. Smooth
    September 7, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Interesting tweet from Nash after his “release”. Mentioning how nice it was to meet Cena.

    • September 7, 2011 at 7:12 pm

      Nash is on Twitter?! Does anyone really believe Nash is fired?

      • Capt. Smooth
        September 7, 2011 at 7:15 pm

        I’m sure Punk does…

        • September 7, 2011 at 7:21 pm

          twitter is confusing because I can never tell what is kayfabe and what is the truth. Like those recent Bella Twins tweets…I have no idea if they are “real” or not. Cena’s twitter is the worst…he’s 100% in character.

          • Capt. Smooth
            September 7, 2011 at 7:30 pm

            Most are.

  33. September 8, 2011 at 12:30 am

    Ok time to go find JCITY. Alan, get the Broskimobile ready, 5 Ipods of music, and a couple of chicks. Make sure not to put the top down, you being a driving Panda and all might attract unwanted attention.

    Smooth, do a CIA investigation to track his wearabouts.

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 8, 2011 at 5:49 am

      I’m starting to wonder if J is really a professor from Yale or something and has been doing a study on internet culture. Seriously, I hope everything is ok.

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 8, 2011 at 5:49 am

      I’m starting to wonder if J is really a professor from Yale or something and has been doing a study on internet culture. Seriously, I hope everything is ok.

      • Capt. Smooth
        September 8, 2011 at 5:49 am

        Double post?!?!?

      • Johnboy
        September 8, 2011 at 6:19 pm

        Nah, professors don’t curse…

        • Capt. Smooth
          September 8, 2011 at 7:05 pm

          They’re human. They do.

          • Johnboy
            September 9, 2011 at 3:01 pm

            I meant atually in writing!!

            • Capt. Smooth
              September 9, 2011 at 5:33 pm

              Oh, I’m sure they do. I can just picture a proffesor giving a paper a failing grade and writing “It’s shit!!!” on it.

              • September 9, 2011 at 6:11 pm

                lol…none of my professors wrote that.

                • Capt. Smooth
                  September 10, 2011 at 6:31 am

                  I’m sure there are some dicks who like to.

    • September 8, 2011 at 9:07 am

      What should I do?

      • Capt. Smooth
        September 8, 2011 at 7:06 pm

        Get all the Punk fans to comb the streets of America.

  34. Capt. Smooth
    September 9, 2011 at 5:59 am

    Randall Cobb, baby!!!

    • Dave
      September 9, 2011 at 2:46 pm

      Tex?

      • Capt. Smooth
        September 9, 2011 at 5:35 pm

        No…lol! Randall Cobb is a rookie for the Packers. He played football at Kentucky. In his first game last night, he kicked ass and I’m just glad to see somebody local do well.

  35. September 9, 2011 at 11:46 am

    I’m thinking of reviewing Smackdown this weekend. If I enjoy doing it, I might do them every week and send them to JCITY whenever he comes back. My first review will go on my blog.

    • September 9, 2011 at 6:25 pm

      Remeber when I reviewed Smackdown that one time? Yep, good times.

      • September 9, 2011 at 7:18 pm

        I’m planning on re-reading that to get an entire of how to review SD.

        • September 9, 2011 at 9:48 pm

          let me write that again….I’m planning on re-reading that get an IDEA of how to review SD.

          That’s better.

  36. Capt. Smooth
    September 9, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    Cool. It’s nice to see other takes on shows.

  37. September 9, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    Damn, wonder why he keeps disappearing :/

    • September 9, 2011 at 11:03 pm

      I know I’ve said it before but I’m sure I’m right this time….he got shot.

      • September 10, 2011 at 12:27 am

        okay…I’m gonna change the subject. I’m 20 minutes into Smackdown and I have already written about 2,000 words in my review. Yikes! If this pace continues, my review will be at least 8,000 words long. This is the most Smackdown I’ve watched in a long time other than the live episode.

  38. September 10, 2011 at 12:31 am

    I already have more words than last week’s TJR Smackdown review…I gotta find out how Doctor Money keeps his review so short.

    • September 10, 2011 at 1:00 am

      I haven’t read someone else’s SD review in so long. One person on TJR I will never read is Doctor Money, I can’t stand him and I believe he is the worst writer on the site. He’s about as boring as it gets and a waste of time, the only reason he’s on the site is becuase he’s John’s “buddy.”

      Never mention him on this site again, please.

      • Capt. Smooth
        September 10, 2011 at 6:34 am

        Try a review at 411mania, LOP, etc. to get more examples.

        • September 10, 2011 at 9:35 am

          I will do that but I’ll continue with my long review. I already started so I might as well finish it. It’s gonna be REALLY long.

          • Capt. Smooth
            September 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

            That’s what she said.

            • September 10, 2011 at 12:30 pm

              I knew that was coming as soon as I wrote. I’m finally up to the main event. I’m at 3,900 words. Far less than what I was on pace to write but I will probably end up close to 4,500 which is a lot of words. I need to cut it down in the future but I like how it is going. It should be a good review. It should be done either late tonight or Sunday morning.

              • Capt. Smooth
                September 10, 2011 at 12:32 pm

                Groovy.

                • September 10, 2011 at 1:12 pm

                  Yes indeed.

                  • Capt. Smooth
                    September 10, 2011 at 1:16 pm

                    INDEEEEED!!!

                    • September 10, 2011 at 2:05 pm

                      Ugh…I want to finish the Smackdown review now but I’m busy for the rest of the day. It should definitely be done by Sunday morning at the latest. Right before the football games start.

  39. September 10, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    Don’t mean to be annoying but ya might like this http://wrestlingrambles.com/2011/09/10/the-opinion-edition-3/

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 10, 2011 at 4:46 pm

      I thought a good name for Kofi/Bourne would be “Bourne in Paradise”.

  40. Capt. Smooth
    September 10, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    Tony Kegger :
    Ugh…I want to finish the Smackdown review now but I’m busy for the rest of the day. It should definitely be done by Sunday morning at the latest. Right before the football games start.

    Take your time. You’ll be fine.

  41. Rob
    September 10, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    On twitter I saw where J’s wife said Free JCITY so I wonder if he got arrested and what for. Someone should make some Free JCITY t shirts if its true.

  42. September 10, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    Rob :
    On twitter I saw where J’s wife said Free JCITY so I wonder if he got arrested and what for. Someone should make some Free JCITY t shirts if its true.

    It would suck if JCITY is in jail but at least that means he is okay.

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 10, 2011 at 5:29 pm

      Are you on twitter? If not, I think Shaman is on it. Maybe he can tweet Meekrz and ask what’s going on.

      • September 10, 2011 at 5:48 pm

        I am on twitter (@TonyKegger…remember my live review of Money in the Bank???) and I already tweeted her.

        http://www.twitter.com/#!/TonyKegger/status/112636243996717056

        • September 10, 2011 at 5:49 pm

          you need to copy and paste the rest of the link….never mind I’ll just do it for you.

          • Capt. Smooth
            September 10, 2011 at 7:46 pm

            Cool. Thanks.

  43. Rob
    September 10, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    I wonder if he got busted selling drugs or if he killed someone. I don’t know about anybody else but to me this cements JCITY as the biggest bad ass in the history of the iwc and maybe he isn’t just a well calculated gimmick as I first thought. Damn I hope he gets out soon his blogs are usually more fun to read than TJR. When they heel it up it feels like an act but when J does it it feels natural and real. Is there a way other writers can post on the site without him posting it for them? I would hate to see this site die out because he’s away at the moment.

    Free JCITY.

    • September 10, 2011 at 7:23 pm

      wow…that’s cool. Nice find.

      Update on my Smackdown review for anyone that cares: I got my rough draft done so I expect it done by later tonight or Sunday morning. I will post the link when it is ready. It’s over 5,000 words right now.

  44. September 10, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    Rob :
    Is there a way other writers can post on the site without him posting it for them? I would hate to see this site die out because he’s away at the moment. .
    Free JCITY.

    As far as I know, JCITY is the only authorized user of this site. All of the writers submit columns to him via email and JCITY is the one who actually publishes them to the site. All of the articles on this site are published under JCITY’s name. He should consider adding another authorized user to the site. I think John Canton has two authorized users in addition to himself over at TJR.

  45. LT
    September 10, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
    first i actually get to see what Jcitys wife looks like, then i find out he is in jail!?!?

    i cannot even troll this place anymore. clearly i win. jcity you lose, if you were smart you would hang yourself from your bunk with them ol raggedy shoelaces (if they didnt take them from you already) because all you have to come home to is a busted ass woman and a website with 7 viewers, well 6 now that i am done with this place.

    HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    jcity= someones prison bitch HAHAHAHAAHAHA
    LT=winning like sheen

    you got what you deserved jcity. dont bother going and making some long winded blog about how you are back and shit and try to say that your haters cant keep you down, because i’m not even hating you anymore hahahaahaha you are a sad delusional man, with horrible taste in women.

  46. September 10, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    Rob :
    I wonder if he got busted selling drugs or if he killed someone.

    He admitted that he uses illegal drugs. I’m not sure if he sells them but it’s a crime to be in possession of them.

    • LT
      September 10, 2011 at 7:48 pm

      HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA i’m sorry i know i said i was done but wheeew this just to much lololololololololololololololololoololololololol

      • Rob
        September 10, 2011 at 7:50 pm

        How exactly did you win anything? JCITY destroyed you over a year ago and yet you continue to view his sites. Sounds like you’re the real loser to me.

        • Capt. Smooth
          September 10, 2011 at 7:51 pm

          What he said!

      • Mr.Redlight
        September 11, 2011 at 7:52 pm

        Still mad i see. Damn your sad

        • Capt. Smooth
          September 11, 2011 at 7:53 pm

          Does anybody from TJR know anything about J?

          • John Canton
            September 11, 2011 at 8:12 pm

            Please, I don’t want to see any of you idiots start a Free JCITY campaign on my site. Fuck JCITY and fuck all of you. You should all be reading my site not this crappy site.

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 10, 2011 at 7:50 pm

      Yeah, I know about that. Let’s just find out what’s going on.

  47. LT
    September 10, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    hahahaahaha
    jcity destroyed nothing, feel free to remember history however you want, writing a stupid blog dissing “LT the online avatar” does not destroy that person, at least i get to sleep in my own bed next to my girlfriend who doesnt even know that i post on these stupid forums and doesnt look like a fucking sea lion like jcitys pet meekerz

    jcity i win, you lose, you get nothing; good day sir!!!!

    HAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

  48. LT
    September 10, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    **Fades back to county jail**

  49. Rob
    September 10, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    Yet you only comment when he isn’t around to defend himself. That alone speaks volumes of the type of man that you are. I clearly remember him dissing you the second time, as a man by calling you a pussy and posting an epic blog with tons of vagina closeups. You are nothing but a cancer. When J comes back I hope he doesn’t even acknowledge you and picks up where he left off. For someone who doesn’t like J you sure stay on his nuts. You can say you have a girl all you want, but at least J can prove his exist. I bet yours is just your hand and a bottle of lotion. But I don’t worry myself too much with peoples personal lives I just want to read more kick ass blogs from J. Maybe I should have never brought up the tweet but it seemed odd and I though I would say something since no one else seemed to mention it.

    Free JCITY.

  50. LT
    September 10, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA go back to 4chan with that cancer shit fanboy i dont need to prove shit, i’m free already jcity had his chance to be a man, now he is someones bitch hehehehehehe

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLLOLOLOLLOLOL

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 10, 2011 at 8:12 pm

      tgjstgns;bnahgna;bvhdzkbvne;glnae

  51. Peace Walker
    September 10, 2011 at 8:10 pm

    Can’t we all just get along?

  52. Anonymous
    September 10, 2011 at 8:11 pm

    This LT guy really needs to shut the fuck up and get a life.

  53. LT
    September 10, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    maybe BPD will let jcity update their blog lol
    i’m sure if you look you can find jason rodriguez’s picture up there somewhere
    http://www.bpdnews.com/

  54. Rob
    September 10, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    The more LT talks the more he exposes himself as an idiot so continue to say what you say and that’s all I have to say about that.

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 10, 2011 at 8:22 pm

      He better not expose himself! There are ladies present!

  55. LT
    September 10, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    ^^^rob ❤ LT^^^

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 10, 2011 at 8:23 pm

      Odd looking math problem.

  56. LT
    September 10, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    this is probably the highest traffic day in the history of this site, there are actually at least 3 people besides jcity on here all at once ZOMFG!!!!!

  57. Anonymous
    September 10, 2011 at 8:24 pm

    Does LT also post as Stephen? He sounds really obsessed with JCITY.

  58. LT
    September 10, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    Oh you, i just came here to do my usual once a month trolling when i saw that jcity has been locked up, i dont usually post here often but when i do, i troll hard (who wouldve thought much of what i said was true i.e. Jcity being a criminal and his wife being a sea donkey), stay thirsty my friends.

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 10, 2011 at 8:30 pm

      whfaleghaegha’ltgnelguhaeiugheig

  59. LT
    September 10, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    who wants to bet jeff hardy is jcitys favorite wrestler?

  60. September 10, 2011 at 10:25 pm
    • Capt. Smooth
      September 11, 2011 at 10:13 am

      It never left.

      • September 11, 2011 at 10:39 am

        It did…it was unavailable a few weeks ago.

        • Capt. Smooth
          September 11, 2011 at 10:44 am

          No, not like that. I meant the “essence” and spirit.

  61. Alan
    September 10, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    O.M.G! Free JCITY!!!!!!!!!!

  62. Alan
    September 11, 2011 at 2:00 am

    LT can suck my fantastic pandastic dick ahaha

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 11, 2011 at 10:14 am

      nice

      • September 11, 2011 at 5:46 pm

        Umm, that wasn’t me bro, but ok!

        • Capt. Smooth
          September 11, 2011 at 7:41 pm

          cool

  63. Anonymous
    September 11, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    Man, you are a terrible writer lol

  64. Shaman's Harvest
    September 11, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    I’m glad JCITY is gone and if he is in jail I hope he rots there. I for one refuse to say Free JCITY and I hope he never returns. Fuck him.

  65. Anonymous
    September 11, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    Has it even been confirmed that JCITY got arrested or did Rob read to much into a tweet and is spreading a false rumor?

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 11, 2011 at 8:11 pm

      Tony tweeted Meekrz, asking what was going on.

      • September 11, 2011 at 9:04 pm

        She hasn’t replied to anything, maybe she meant JCITY has a contractual obligation to pay his car payments and he doesn’t want the car anymore, so Meekrz wishes they would free JCITY from his contract and he can’t write because he’s been SWAMPED in paper work.

  66. Anonymous
    September 11, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    And nothing has been confirmed yet, right? Maybe you guys should mind your business and not intrude in other people’s personal lives by spreading lies. Maybe she handcuffed him to the bedpost and lost the key and can’t free him. Maybe he got trapped in a freezer or fell down a water well and can’t get out. That tweet can mean so many things so let’s not jump to conclusions.

    • September 11, 2011 at 10:57 pm

      Anonymous :
      And nothing has been confirmed yet, right? Maybe you guys should mind your business and not intrude in other people’s personal lives by spreading lies. Maybe she handcuffed him to the bedpost and lost the key and can’t free him. Maybe he got trapped in a freezer or fell down a water well and can’t get out. That tweet can mean so many things so let’s not jump to conclusions.

      Correct…nothing is confirmed. The tweet could mean anything but it’s the only JCITY news available at the moment.

  67. Shaman's Harvest
    September 11, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    JCITY might suck at writing, but I suck dicks in real life while Tony Kegger rims my ass.

  68. September 11, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    Until JCITY comes back this site will be troll infested, so I’ll just be at Tony’s site until then.

    And no one said JCITY’s in jail, so don’t just assume stuff yet.

    • September 11, 2011 at 9:31 pm

      Well, I hope everything works out for JCITY dude regardless of what’s going on! See ya dudes back here when JCITY bro gets back, ahaha.

      • Capt. Smooth
        September 12, 2011 at 5:53 am

        Same here. I’ll check in from time to time and let you’ll know anything I find out.

  69. September 12, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    My sites so lonely, please come over 😛

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 12, 2011 at 7:07 pm

      I just did. Nice 9/11 column.

  70. September 12, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    Anyone see this video?

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 12, 2011 at 8:29 pm

      I’ve been messing around, looking at old wrestling clips on youtube. Just watched how “DAMN!” got started.

      • September 12, 2011 at 11:00 pm

        I’ve been watching highlights of old matches. I love watching highlights…they are brief and they cut out all the boring parts. Goldberg vs. The Rock from Backlash 2003 looks like it was a good match.

  71. September 12, 2011 at 11:35 pm
    • September 12, 2011 at 11:37 pm

      I hope he’s ok!!!

      • September 12, 2011 at 11:41 pm

        I would like more information. “Free JCITY” could mean anything.

        • Capt. Smooth
          September 13, 2011 at 5:47 am

          damn

        • Anon.
          September 13, 2011 at 4:29 pm

          You people are so out of touch with modern times. 9 out of times 10 when someone says “FREE BLANK!” they’ve been arrested. What do you think happened to him then? He got trapped in a well? No, so shut the fuck up and face the facts. Given the background of the suspect: He’s been arrested.

  72. Elteezie
    September 13, 2011 at 1:00 am

    jcity still sucks and deserves LIFE

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 13, 2011 at 5:49 am

      gJE;AGA;ELG;lgjfv;rsg;ltshjnstjhna;hGBJ

      • Anon.
        September 13, 2011 at 4:30 pm

        Best way to fight a troll is to be a troll? Don’t hate on us ‘haterz’ smooth. Thought you were better than that.

        • Capt. Smooth
          September 13, 2011 at 4:36 pm

          sfajdl;gaj;lgane;gnag

  73. Anonymous
    September 13, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    In case anyone is interested, JCity was arrested for dealing.

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 13, 2011 at 5:36 pm

      I hope he can sort it all out. Thanks.

    • September 13, 2011 at 6:46 pm

      I hope that’s not true. I did some research and he could spend years in jail.

  74. Rob
    September 13, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    Stop spreading lies. Nobody knows what is going on and the only person who can provide answers isn’t really giving out any details.

  75. Stephen
    September 13, 2011 at 5:58 pm

    This is the best news ever!

  76. HG
    September 13, 2011 at 6:32 pm

    This time last year JCITY was fucking shaman in ass for calling him the n word. And now the shoe appears to be on the other foot. Ha. Ironic.

  77. September 13, 2011 at 6:54 pm
    • Capt. Smooth
      September 13, 2011 at 8:02 pm

      Thanks, Tony.

  78. September 13, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    So what exactly happened to J, is he actually in Jail or what?

  79. LT
    September 13, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    Someone please tell meekers I have an old doghouse she can live in now that her husband has been jailed and her endless flow of crack money has been disrupted

    • Rob
      September 13, 2011 at 7:42 pm

      The pathetic LT strikes again. It’s sad that you have to talk trash on a person that had absolutely nothing to do with your so called beef with JCITY. If you hate JCITY so much why do you constantly come to the site and increase his page views? But yea I hope we can get a legit update tomorrow. I’m sure J would want us to know whats going on. Unless he raped an old lady or something lol.

      • September 14, 2011 at 5:29 am

        Even if JCITY is in the big house, that LT guy is in a worst place. He must have some fucked up life to trash talk a guy on the internet.

        LT – Go outside for fresh air or get laid.

    • Dave
      September 14, 2011 at 1:44 pm

      LT is like an ass Herpe. U think the little bitch is gone he comes back. Why would you want to come on this site and get verbally douched out? Why don’t you go jerk off in a Turkey baster and squirt it in your own face.

      • Capt. Smooth
        September 14, 2011 at 5:00 pm

        “jerk off in a turkey baster”? That’s gotta be hard to do…not, not that I would know…*covers face in shame*

  80. September 14, 2011 at 9:41 am

    Maybe JCITY is in the hospital and the doctors won’t clear him to leave. Free JCITY…from the hospital. Maybe???

    • Anon.
      September 14, 2011 at 3:53 pm

      How fucking stupid are you?

      • September 14, 2011 at 5:19 pm

        At least I’m not assuming anything. I’d like to think positive. I read Meekrz’s latest tweets and it sounds like JCITY is coming home soon. That’s good to read.

        • Capt. Smooth
          September 14, 2011 at 5:22 pm

          Yes it is.

  81. September 14, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    Well, hope he’s out soon.

    • Capt. Smooth
      September 14, 2011 at 7:26 pm

      Ray, you need to put that 9/11 column in the LOP forum section!

  82. September 14, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    JCITY is stupid and I wished he died.

  83. September 14, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    Comment above wasn’t me.

    Meekrz will post an update tomorrow on JCITY as well as this sites future.

    https://twitter.com/meekrz_/status/114149079436627969

  84. September 14, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    Just a wait and see game I guess! Hope he’s doing ok!!

  85. LT
    September 15, 2011 at 5:01 am

    Let me save you the trouble, the big revelation is jcity is in jail, what a surprise

  86. September 15, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    Wow…if I was rich, I’d try to get involved in this:

    http://www.events.org/auctionitem.aspx?id=11456&o=103

  1. December 30, 2011 at 9:39 pm

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