Home > Guest Blog, Infamous Interview, Jim Ross, Shaman's Harvest, WWE > My Exclusive Interview with Jim Ross by Shaman’s Harvest

My Exclusive Interview with Jim Ross by Shaman’s Harvest

My Exclusive Interview with Jim Ross by Shaman’s Harvest

Edited by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™

Disclaimer: This is intended soley for entertainment purposes only. The contents of this interview are purely imaginary and did not really occur. I do not own nor did I create any of the videos below. 

This interview was recorded last month, but after the incidents that took place that day, I forgot all about it… until now.

I’ve done my “Exclusive Interviews” for a while now, and in my opinion, and hopefully yours, (because I crave your approval) they’ve been pretty successful, but like WWE CEOOEIEIO, Mr. Stephanie McMahon once said, change is necessary in life. It’s a part of evolution, and if you don’t change, evolution will pass you by. I’m taking Triple H’s advise and I’ve decided that it’s time for my “Exclusive Interviews” to evolve a bit. So far, it’s all been plain black text and white backgrounds, but today, that’s not going to be the case. Today, I’ve talked to my interviewee and thought it would be fun for me to record him (he said something about not trusting me and twisting his words like I do with everyone else or something), but unfortunately my voice will not be added, to keep an air of mystery, if you will. This time around I’m interviewing Good Ol’ JR, Jim Ross. I have to say, I wouldn’t trust any one of the other Superstars I’ve interviewed thus far to be able to handle an audio interview, but JR is about as professional as they come, so I trust him.

What do I hope to accomplish in this interview? I hope to really get a sense of JR’s thoughts and feelings on the current WWE product. I hope to get his true opinions on how he’s used, what WWE Superstars to watch out for, and maybe even his thoughts on Michael Cole. I took the New INFAMOUS PRIVATE JET™ (yes, we have that now) and met up with Mr. Ross in New York. Here’s what he had to say…

Shaman: I’m here in a beautiful hotel lobby in New York City, sitting down with WWE Hall of Famer and owner of www.JRsBarBQ.com, Good Ol’ JR, Jim Ross. Now, JR, let me first say, I’m very excited to have a sit down interview with a wrestling mind of your caliber. My first question for you is this; JR, this appears to be a very exciting new era in WWE. New stars are being created, old stars are coming back, and WWE’s starting to get a whole new feel. What are your thoughts on the fan proclaimed “Reality Era” thus far?

JR: 

This was not going as planned. We just started and I was already losing him, dammit I knew I shouldn’t have done this interview during lunchtime.

Shaman: Well, you’re about 4 or 5 years in the past JR and you apparently don’t know where we are, but that’s ok, that’s ok, because I’m sure this would have been very insightful at the time. I’ll be sure to check out that BBQ place. Now JR, you’ve had quite the WWE career, what would you say are some of your favourite moments?

JR: 

Shaman: Umm, not what I was expecting, but I’ll give it to you, those were certainly interesting times. I guess if you have the chance to have some BBQ sauce on live TV, why not take it? Along with the good, inevitably comes some bad. JR, what was your least favourite moment in the WWE?

JR: 

Shaman: Yep, JR, you’ve certainly done some interesting things in your career. How did those burns heal up? Not good I’m assuming since apparently “Stop, Drop, and Roll” describes your weekend laziness and eating habits instead of fire safety. Ok, time for some quickfire questions. JR, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin or Kurt Angle?

JR: 

Shaman: What would have happened if Justin Bieber ever hosted Raw?

JR: 

Shaman: JR, some people see you as a more generic character in the WWE. Some believe that it’s because you’re very old school in many ways, such as your entrance theme. JR, if you could have a new modern entrance theme, what would it be?

JR was now looking anxious. I didn’t realize this at the time, but he hadn’t had barbecue in over 3 hours. He was trying to remain professional and finish this interview, but I could see he was in pain. He then started to rap.

JR: 

Shaman: JR, that was the greatest thing anyones ever said, EVER! I had no idea you could rap like that. If I ever get Vince on here, and I’ve been trying, I’d definitely play that for him.

I looked at the time, JR had been showing more personality than he had in years, I’d love for this to continue, but JR was on BBQ withdrawal and I feared for his life.

Shaman: JR, I know you need to get going, but I just have one more question about Michael Cole before we finish this.

JR looked angry.

Shaman: Now JR, I know you’re hungry… so I got you this!

I pulled out a bag of Burger King. In there were 7 cheeseburgers. Originally, I was going to bribe JR with them to tell me everything he knows about Vince, but right now these cheeseburgers were what I needed to continue this interview, and possibly JR’s life. BBQ withdrawal is no laughing matter.

Shaman: Now here you go JR… Oh, wait. There’s no cheese on these! Darn it, sorry JR.

JR: 

JR ripped the bag of burgers in half and began to scream as the other guests in the lobby began to stare. JR then grabbed the nearest kid and tried to bite his arm off as he screamed for a cheeseburger. His mother cried while me and the boy’s father pulled the kid away. JR began to throw around furniture, then set fire to the artificial palm trees near by. By now, the other guests were panicking and running for their lives, as hotel employees tried to put out the raging fire. I jumped on JR, trying to slow him down, but JR was hungry, and trust me, you wouldn’t like him when he’s hungry. JR let out one last barbecue lusting scream, along with it he tossed me off his back with unbelievable force. Like a government mule, I flew over the one remaining coffee table as JR stomped a mud hole in the kiddy pool. I slammed impactfully into a women trying to escape near by. We slammed heads as they both cracked and gushed blood. I fell, unconscious, to the floor while the women fell into the pool. I hadn’t seen what happened next, but I was later informed that JR ran through a 3 foot thick brick wall to the nearest McDonald’s and ordered as many cheeseburgers as they could make.

I awoke in the lobby later on as the manager handed me a bill for the damage. Before I was taken to the hospital I was informed by cops that the women who fell in the pool died and I would need to get a lawyer and work it out in court. Learning from the R-Truth incident, and not wanting another pending case, I said my name was THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ as I went on my way to the hospital, effectively ending another successful interview. As for Jim Ross, Michael Cole better watch what he says to him, because if Cole catches him on a bad day, he won’t live to tell the tale. I almost didn’t.

_______

Sad that it’s over? What else will you do today to keep occupied? Don’t know? Thank God I do. Check out: http://bro-tastic.blogspot.com/ for some *Pantastic* fist pumping adventures of a surfing half panda/half human protecting the beaches of California like only he can in “The Pantastic Adventures of Alan and Friends”.

  1. November 29, 2011 at 5:28 am

    This is the funniest shit I’ve read in a while. Jr’s “My Ass” rap was fucking epic and when he freaked the fuck out for a cheeseburger I couldn’t stop fucking laughing. Great innovative interview.

    • November 29, 2011 at 6:31 pm

      Yeah this stuff is pretty good. Vintage Shaman’s Harvest.

      • Capt. Smooth
        November 29, 2011 at 6:43 pm

        Told you that you were Cole.

        • November 29, 2011 at 6:47 pm

          Shut up you nerd! Sorry…my inner Michael Cole typed that.

          • Capt. Smooth
            November 29, 2011 at 6:55 pm

            Don’t make me hit you with my crown!

  2. Capt. Smooth
    November 29, 2011 at 6:56 am

    What J said. This really is some outside-the-box stuff. And it’s good.

  3. Tony Kegger
    November 29, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    im only getting half the interview on my phone so i definitely need to check this out when i get home.

  4. Max
    November 29, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    I thought I would hate this, but I can actually see JR going into a diabetic shock over BBQ sauce and cheeseburgers. All the audio parts fit in well, except for the Justin Bieber one. I hate Justin Bieber. Oh and lol at JR looking at porn on the background.

    • November 30, 2011 at 12:11 am

      He’s looking at therealshyt.com. He keeps emailing me begging for new updates. I told him to chill the fuck out and sauce it up.

  5. November 29, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    JR is hilarious. There’s some great videos of him out there.

  6. Capt. Smooth
    November 29, 2011 at 5:44 pm
    • November 30, 2011 at 12:13 am

      That would be a very idiotic thing to do. Rondo is slowly becoming the leader of that team. Maybe Pierce feels Rondo is a threat to his captain position.

      • Capt. Smooth
        November 30, 2011 at 6:10 am

        Yeah, Rondo’s got such great chemistry with the team.

        • December 1, 2011 at 12:01 am

          Rumors were that we were gonna trade him for Chris Paul, but it looks like Chris is going to the Knicks.

          • Capt. Smooth
            December 1, 2011 at 5:53 am

            Now, the Pacers are trying to get Rondo.

            • December 1, 2011 at 7:46 am

              Fuck!

              • Capt. Smooth
                December 1, 2011 at 5:31 pm

                Now, I hearing Houston.

                • December 2, 2011 at 4:27 am

                  The only suitable trade will be for Derick Rose.

                  • Capt. Smooth
                    December 2, 2011 at 5:55 am

                    I don’t know. I was thinking Bogans. lol

                  • December 3, 2011 at 11:14 pm

                    THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ :
                    The only suitable trade will be for Derick Rose.

                    Get the fuck out of here…we don’t want that little bitch-ass dirty thug. He tried to punch Kirk Hinrich and he slapped the shit out of Brad Miller during the 2009 Playoffs. And no way you are getting Rose. You guys don’t have anyone we want. We’ll give you Carlos Boozer though.

                    • Capt. Smooth
                      December 4, 2011 at 10:11 am

                      Kirk/Rondo tried to fight each other. And Rondo’s hands are so damn big, I’m shocked he hasn’t slapped more people going for the ball.

  7. Anonymous
    November 29, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Please get rid of Shaman’s Harvest. He is not funny and is an unloyal racist asshole. And while you’re at it, review a damn wrestling show already.

  8. November 29, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    Just about to get offline, I know you don’t like me for some reason Shaman but nice job, funny as hell. You should do an exclusive interview with The Undertaker!

    • Capt. Smooth
      November 29, 2011 at 6:57 pm

      “Buckle up, Shaman!”

    • November 29, 2011 at 11:42 pm

      He can take me on a tour of the graveyard.

      • November 30, 2011 at 12:16 am

        If he gets you in the Tombstone position just fucking fart in his face.

        • Capt. Smooth
          November 30, 2011 at 6:11 am

          Actually, wouldn’t he be farting away from his face?

          • December 1, 2011 at 12:02 am

            Nope. It would be a direct hit. Maybe eat a black bean surprise before hand and BAAAAAM!!!!!!

            • Capt. Smooth
              December 1, 2011 at 5:54 am

              Chili

              • December 1, 2011 at 7:47 am

                Chili con queso and a bean fried burito.

                • Capt. Smooth
                  December 1, 2011 at 5:32 pm

                  Whatever you do, just make sure there are plenty of beans and peppers.

                  • December 2, 2011 at 4:28 am

                    And toilet paper. It might just go from fart to shart.

                    • Capt. Smooth
                      December 2, 2011 at 5:56 am

                      The Hershey Squirts?

  9. Brian
    November 29, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    This was hilarious. Shaman is back in rare form. Looking forward to reading more stuff from him. That’s if JCITY can stay out of jail long enough this time.

    • November 30, 2011 at 12:17 am

      Maybe I should just disappear again. Fuck it. To hell with it all…

      • Joanne
        November 30, 2011 at 4:23 pm

        You gay Bro?

        • Capt. Smooth
          November 30, 2011 at 5:27 pm

          Joane, do you know Alan?

        • December 1, 2011 at 12:04 am

          Being gay is making up a new screenname, a female name at that, just to question someone else’s sexuality because you are insecure in yours. Fuck off, faggot. [||]Pause.

  10. November 30, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    Hey Shaman…the WWE is trying to shut down parody twitter accounts.

    • November 30, 2011 at 6:37 pm

      That would be pretty stupid, like a few twitter deletions isn’t going to make a difference to WWE. If anything it’ll increase a demand for more parody accounts to be made.

      • November 30, 2011 at 9:39 pm

        According to LOP, twitter won’t shut them down as long as the account acknowledges in the description that it is a parody account. If someone is trying to impersonate a WWE Superstar and not acknowledge that it’s fake, I agree that THOSE need to be deleted.

  11. December 1, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    Tony Kegger :
    Hey Shaman…the WWE is trying to shut down parody twitter accounts.

    Twitter allows you to make parody accounts as long as you specify in the description. My handle even says FAKEbookert, so there’s no way anyone could actually think I’m Booker.

    A lot of problems with Twitter parodys come from ones like DumbKellyKelly that, while funny, is just used insult Kelly. My Booker one’s not used to take shots at Booker.

    If WWE isn’t ok with that they can have David Otunga explain the Terms of Service to them.

  12. December 1, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    This brought the lolz. Ahaha, this dude here really likes barquece! I can’t get that rap out of my head to! Way to go shaman bro!

  13. December 1, 2011 at 9:24 pm

    Shaman’s Harvest :

    Tony Kegger :
    Hey Shaman…the WWE is trying to shut down parody twitter accounts.

    Twitter allows you to make parody accounts as long as you specify in the description. My handle even says FAKEbookert, so there’s no way anyone could actually think I’m Booker.

    Yeah I saw that too. Your account should be safe. It’s just interesting that your account might be one of the accounts they are looking at.

  14. December 1, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    Capt. Smooth :
    Actually, wouldn’t he be farting away from his face?

    I think the Owen Hart piledriver that broke Austin’s neck had Austin’s ass rubbing Owen’s face. I don’t which is a worse piledriver position: stinkface or teabag?

    • December 2, 2011 at 4:29 am

      Lmmfao.

      • Capt. Smooth
        December 2, 2011 at 5:57 am

        The “leg pit” would actually be in Taker’s face in a Tombstone.

  15. December 2, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    Capt. Smooth :

    The Hershey Squirts?

    Green Apple Splatters.

    • Capt. Smooth
      December 2, 2011 at 7:35 pm

      I’ve always heard The Green Apple Quick Step.

  16. December 2, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    It’s the whole crotch area. It’s the perfect 69 position. I wonder if he ever gave Michelle McCool the 69 Driver?

  17. December 4, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    Capt. Smooth :
    Kirk/Rondo tried to fight each other. And Rondo’s hands are so damn big, I’m shocked he hasn’t slapped more people going for the ball.

    Rondo started that fight.

    • Capt. Smooth
      December 4, 2011 at 2:11 pm

      Kirk finished. Actually, it would’ve been funny if one of them did the GTS on the other.

      • December 6, 2011 at 4:47 am

        Lol. Can’t wait for the season to start.

        • Capt. Smooth
          December 6, 2011 at 5:50 am

          Christmas Day, baby!!!

  18. December 7, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    Good to know. Great ideas especially related to easy bbq sauce recipe!

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