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The Keg Stand: Zack Ryder Is The Brian Scalabrine Of The WWE by Tony Kegger

The Keg Stand: Zack Ryder Is The Brian Scalabrine Of The WWE by Tony Kegger 

Edited by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™

If you’re a WWE fan, you have heard of the “Ryder Revolution”. One year ago, Zack Ryder was rarely on television and was a jobber in the WWE. Now, the entire Internet Wrestling Community is talking about Zack Ryder. At WWE Live Events, fans chant his name, wear his Broski Wigs, and bring Zack Ryder signs. He has become very popular. The question is, how popular is he? The fans love him, but do they want him to be the WWE Champion? When I think of Zack Ryder, I don’t think of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin or The Rock. I don’t even think of a wrestler. I think of Brian Scalabrine.

 

Who is Brian Scalabrine? If you don’t live in Chicago or Boston or if you didn’t go to the University of Southern California, you might not have heard of Brian Scalabrine. In Chicago, my hometown, Brian Scalabrine is a legend. Scalabrine is a basketball player for the Chicago Bulls and is known as the White Mamba. He is not one of the best players on the team. Scalabrine is in his 11th NBA season and he has averaged only 3.1 points per game in his career. He has played in over 500 games, but he has started in only 61 games. Despite that, he is one of the most popular players on a team that includes Derrick Rose who was last year’s NBA Most Valuable Player. Scalabrine only plays when the Bulls are leading or trailing by a lot late in a game. When there is about six minutes left in a game and it is obvious the Bulls are either going to win by many points or lose by many points, the fans in Chicago start chanting Scalabrine’s name. Once he is in the game, the fans cheer whenever he touches the ball. If he finds a way to score a basket, the fans blow the roof off the building. Despite his limited skills, Scalabrine is very popular in Chicago.

 

I see a lot of similarities between Ryder and Scalabrine. When I hear fans chanting for Scalabrine to enter the game at Bulls games, I think of the “We Want Ryder” chants from the WWE Capitol Punishment Pay-Per-View in June 2011. When Ryder gets a huge reaction every time he enters a WWE ring, I think of the huge reaction Scalabrine gets every time he walks on the United Center floor in Chicago. I’m not a Zack Ryder fan, but being a Brian Scalabrine fan, I think I know what the Ryder fans want to see the WWE do with Zack Ryder. I think the WWE needs to listen to the fans and continue to give Zack Ryder a push, but I don’t think they need to put Zack Ryder in the main event every week or make him a WWE Championship contender. Chicago Bulls fans love Scalabrine, but they don’t want him to be the starting power forward on the Chicago Bulls. They don’t want the Bulls to make him the face of the franchise. They don’t want him to be taking the final shot when the score is tied late in the game. I think the same can be said about Zack Ryder. He may be the most popular Superstar in the WWE right now, but that does not mean the WWE should put the WWE Championship on him. The fans enjoy watching Zack Ryder, but I don’t think that means they want to see him headlining WrestleMania or becoming the next WWE Champion.

I think one of the biggest problems the WWE has right now is making an entire episode of RAW entertaining. When I watch RAW, I have noticed that the opening segment, the segment during the top of the second hour, and the main event are usually enjoyable to watch. However, all the things in between those segments are usually hit-or-miss. I would love to be able to watch an entire episode of RAW without wanting to turn the channel. I think what the WWE should do is give Zack Ryder at least one backstage segment and one five-to-ten minute match every week on RAW. Just put Zack Ryder on TV as much as possible and put him in situations where he can entertain the crowd. The WWE has already started something similar to that with Brodus Clay and it is getting a good reaction from the live crowd. I don’t think Zack Ryder will ever be a great main event star in the WWE, but that doesn’t mean he can’t help RAW become a better overall show.

  1. January 21, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    SCALABRINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He gets major love out here in Boston. He may not be the greatest player in the world, but he sure is over with the fans. I’ve meet him before and he’s a cool laidback type of guy.

    SCALABRINE FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • January 21, 2012 at 1:23 pm

      THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ :
      SCALABRINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He gets major love out here in Boston. He may not be the greatest player in the world, but he sure is over with the fans. I’ve meet him before and he’s a cool laidback type of guy.
      SCALABRINE FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!

      I thought you might like this column. I remember when Scal played for Boston and he was very popular. I’m a little bit amazed that popularity carried over so nicely to Chicago.

      • January 21, 2012 at 1:30 pm

        Boston is loyal to the people who play here no matter if they leave, unless they go to the Yankees then they can go fuck themselves, lol.

        Comparing him to Ryder might forecast a future you may not be ready for; Zack Ryder WWE Champion. After all, Scalabrine is an NBA World Champion.

        • January 21, 2012 at 1:36 pm

          Lol…Scal has an organization championship. The WWE Championship is an individual title like the NBA MVP. Zack Ryder is already a champion…he is a member of the World’s Greatest Pro Wrestling Organization.

          • January 21, 2012 at 1:50 pm

            In the NBA that ring is the equivalent of the WWE Championship. The MVP trophy is more like a Superstar of the Year Slammy.

            • January 21, 2012 at 2:12 pm

              But The Big Three (KG, Pierce, and Allen…not those Miami shitheads) are why Boston won the NBA Title.

              • January 21, 2012 at 4:00 pm

                Perkins, Rondo, Scalabrine, House, shit the whole bench did their part too. Without them the big three wouldn’t have made it as far as they did. Huge mark out moment when they won, beating the Lakers at that. Great moment in Boston sports history. Rolling Rally Parade was nice too.

                • Capt. Smooth
                  January 22, 2012 at 11:00 am

                  Yeah, I was shocked that a 2nd year point guard would be able to do that.

  2. January 21, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    Not only is he white. He got red hair. Really hollywood cant cast this stuff better. Plus his name is scalabrine…really its to good. And he can shoot, but not jump. like every white player in the league

  3. January 21, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    Wow…that was quick. No pictures?

  4. January 21, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    Since I don’t watch Basketball, I think of Ryder as the Wade Belak (RIP) of the Maple Leafs. Not the best out there, but someone you always cheer for.

    • January 21, 2012 at 4:01 pm

      No idea who that is. I don’t know Maple Leafs, but Maple Syrup is fucking delicious.

  5. Stephen
    January 21, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    What does JCITY and Brian Scalabrine have in common? Both are overrated pieces of shit.

    • January 21, 2012 at 4:02 pm

      How can I be OVERrated when I’m an UNDERGROUND King?

      • Anon
        January 21, 2012 at 6:11 pm

        Yeah, WAAAAAAAAY underground. You’ve got like 6 fans. Get over yourself.

        • January 21, 2012 at 8:05 pm

          About 14 or so people comment from time to time, but that’s only a small percentage of the number of people that read the stuff posted here, and I appreciate them all. If all I did was gain one fan a day that would be great. I also don’t beg for comments in every single review I write like other writers I’ve seen recently.

          I’m not stuck on the numbers like that though, I just let it be what it is, but since you’re so obsessed with my numbers, how about over 58,027 Unique Viewers. Viewed in over 179 Countries. 17,500+ Followers on Twitter and over 500,000 views between this and my other site, so you sir can suck my big fat dick. Over 10 inches down your throat since you’re so stuck on the numbers.

          Have a nice day.

          • Matt
            January 22, 2012 at 9:59 am

            Those things can be hacked. Are we supposed to take your word for it? Where are yoilir advertisements? Where is your quality writing? You make up names for new writers to make us think your site is growing but its not. You’re a fraud,plain and simple.

            Dont bother responding if you think ill see it. I wont be back. Go ahead and try to run me down for your egos sake.

            • Capt. Smooth
              January 22, 2012 at 11:02 am

              Why do you come here? Just curious.

  6. January 21, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    I agree with you bros. It was also cool to see when the bulls played in Boston a couple of weeks ago that when he entered with a minute he got a standing ovation, ahaha.

    • January 21, 2012 at 4:03 pm

      Is it me or does Scalabrine sound like the name for an STD or something? Like “Damn it burns when I pee, I think that bitch gave me the Scalabrines”.

  7. Jack
    January 21, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    This is the worse attempt at a tjr ripoff of a site that I have ever seen. What a bunch of losers. 6 fans and this guy says he is the king of underground? Withleather and pizza body slam are way better, this, just awful. Jcity kill yourself already

    • January 21, 2012 at 4:25 pm

      Fuck off. You sound like a Andrew Johnson wannabe troll. Check the flag stats on the site. Viewed in over 140 countries, over 40,000 unique viewers so you can go eat a dick. This site is NOTHING like TJR so take your comparison and shove it up your shitty ass.

  8. Jack
    January 21, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    Other only thing I see you doing different than tjr is using poor language, spelling and grammar, and clogging up the comments with 50 posts from the author.
    This site sucks.

    • January 21, 2012 at 4:28 pm

      thanks for taking time to comment

      • January 21, 2012 at 4:31 pm

        We get haters from time to time. Try not to let them scare you off. They’re like little annoying bugs, either step on them or swat them away. No biggie.

        • January 21, 2012 at 4:34 pm

          no worries….i am at work for the last 10 hours with 5 to go i am bored and was looking for a fight

    • January 21, 2012 at 4:28 pm

      Didn’t know you cared enough to read every word and check every punctuation. Awwww, your such a cute little obsessive troll. Thanks for counting my comments for me. Seeing as I can do whatever the fuck I want I will continue to engage in the discussions as I see fit. Don’t worry about what I do, but you will because you are fucking obsessed with me. Whatever. Keep trolling trolling trolling trolling. Keep trolling trolling trolling trolling.

  9. January 21, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    If you don’t like a website why are you reading all the comments? Thats like saying i hate burger king but eating something different off there dollar menue every day

    • January 21, 2012 at 5:12 pm

      They love it, but don’t want to admit it.

      • Capt. Smooth
        January 22, 2012 at 11:04 am

        I heard that Burger King is going to start home delivery.

        • January 22, 2012 at 1:23 pm

          I’m surprised fast food places don’t already do that.

          • Capt. Smooth
            January 22, 2012 at 2:50 pm

            I know and now I’m depressed.(kidding)

            • January 22, 2012 at 3:05 pm

              Lol. Once McDonalds does the same the game will change forever.

              • Capt. Smooth
                January 22, 2012 at 3:10 pm

                Nugget Buffet!

                • January 22, 2012 at 3:14 pm

                  I would order that if I’m high enough.

                  • Capt. Smooth
                    January 22, 2012 at 3:16 pm

                    What sauce. I’d do honey.

                    • January 22, 2012 at 3:20 pm

                      Sweet and sour is my favorite. Ranch too. Honey can also work.

  10. Capt. Smooth
    January 21, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    please

  11. Capt. Smooth
    January 21, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    Ryder’s more like a Tayshawn Prince. Not a big star, but isn’t popular due to people being ironic. He’s a standout.

  12. January 22, 2012 at 10:38 am

    Shaman’s Harvest :
    Since I don’t watch Basketball, I think of Ryder as the Wade Belak (RIP) of the Maple Leafs. Not the best out there, but someone you always cheer for.

    I think almost every sports team has a “Brian Scalabrine”.

    • Capt. Smooth
      January 22, 2012 at 11:06 am

      One difference I notice between the two is that Scalabrine has reached his potential and Ryder is still young and hasn’t reached his.

      • January 22, 2012 at 1:30 pm

        Ryder already reached his potential. It’s all downhill from here.

        • January 22, 2012 at 1:39 pm

          I agree about Ryder. He is close to peaking. He’s young but he’s been the WWE since 2007. In WWE years, that’s a long time.

          • January 22, 2012 at 2:13 pm

            At least he gets to fuck Eve.

            • Capt. Smooth
              January 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm

              But he’s barely been on(except for his initial run) until recently. I’m more being in the ring with the higher ups will help him.

              • January 22, 2012 at 3:04 pm

                He is always on TV. Especially the last two weeks.

                • Capt. Smooth
                  January 22, 2012 at 3:12 pm

                  For a prolonged period of time. The more time he spends with mid-carders to upper-card guys, the better he will be.

                  • January 22, 2012 at 3:13 pm

                    Or they weaker he will look by comparison. it’s a double edged sword. So far so good.

                    • Capt. Smooth
                      January 22, 2012 at 3:15 pm

                      He’ll looker weaker now, but the more he does it, the better.

  13. January 22, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    Matt :

    Those things can be hacked. Are we supposed to take your word for it? Where are yoilir advertisements? Where is your quality writing? You make up names for new writers to make us think your site is growing but its not. You’re a fraud,plain and simple.

    Dont bother responding if you think ill see it. I wont be back. Go ahead and try to run me down for your egos sake.

    You can suck my diznick, if you talk that shiznick, keep up with them disses, and give my ass some kisses, haters know what this is, stay giving them the business… you a stupid hoe you a you a stupid hoe STUPID STUPID you a stupid hoe you you a stupid hoe STUPID STUPID…

    That’s right, you don’t even deserve a legit response. All I read from you hating ass bitches is blah, blah, blah, so take your stupid ass comment and shove it up your fucking ass. All you retards hating on me are just fucking reaching at this point. Get off my damn fucking dick already you obsessive little bitch made hoes.

  14. January 22, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    I reviewed a classic Survivor Series match at my blog. Click my name to find out which match it was!

  15. January 22, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    Capt. Smooth :

    He’ll looker weaker now, but the more he does it, the better.

    Like sex? [||]Pause.

    • Capt. Smooth
      January 22, 2012 at 6:36 pm

      Yeah. That’s one of the reason I like the “Friends with Benefits” idea.

  16. Rob
    January 23, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Interesting concept Tony and I can’t help but laugh at these comments with that N-word please picture popping up all over the place.

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