Home > Fuck Valentine's Day, THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ > Valentine’s Day Fucking Sucks So I’m Going On Strike Today!

Valentine’s Day Fucking Sucks So I’m Going On Strike Today!

Valentine’s Day Fucking Sucks So I’m Going On Strike Today! 

by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™

I fucking hate Valentine’s Day. It’s a scam of a holiday used to promote consumerism by brainwashing a bunch of pussy whooped motherfuckers into buying their significant others something “special”, be it cards, chocolates, lingerie, teddy bears and other worthless bullshit manufacturers could draw a fucking heart on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about the love, but I’m not a sentimental motherfucker that feels the need to show my love through materialistic means. I think Valentine’s Day is better suited for guys trying to trick airheaded bimbos into sleeping with them, but let’s be serious, if a bitch is willing to give you some pussy just because you brought her a fucking Valentine’s Day Card, then that bitch isn’t worth a damn to begin with.

The thing about that is that no matter how stupid the bitch might be, there is always an even stupider man getting pussy whooped because he anticipates to get his dick wet on February 14th. If another guy ends up buying that same bitch some roses then you’re shit out of luck because chances are she’s going to fuck that guy instead and you will be left with blue balls, less money in your pocket, and a broken heart, all because you decided to fall for the Valentine’s Day propaganda. If a bitch really loved you, then she wouldn’t expect anything for Valentine’s Day and would just appreciate the quality time you spent with her. If she gets mad because you didn’t get her anything, my suggestion to you is to find yourself another cunt to pillage. I’ve fucked alot of bitches in my life and I’ve never really taken bitches out on dates or spent any money I wouldn’t have spent otherwise. You shouldn’t have to either.

Tricking on a bitch is some sucker shit. If you have to shower a bitch with gifts and take her out with the intentions of impressing her then you fucking suck at life. If you can’t fuck a bitch within the first 3 days of knowing her then she isn’t worth the damn time. You guys have to stop letting women emasculate you fuckers. There’s too many men running around acting like bitches these days, dressing like them too with their faggoty skinny jeans and matching accessories. Seriously, grow a fucking pair of balls and be a fucking goddamn man. Tell your bitch that all she’s getting for Valentine’s Day is your fucking dick and that’s fucking it. If you must be festive then stick your damn penis through a heart shaped box of chocolates and give it to your Valentine just like I did last year. I’m tired of woman always getting treated special on Valentine’s Day when they don’t fucking deserve it.

The holiday is clearly aimed at men buying women stupid shit they don’t fucking need, but what the fuck do we get out of it? A blowjob? Some pussy? Fuck that shit. A bitch that’s worth a damn will give you that shit every single day and if not then kick that hoe to the curb because another one will. Spending money this February 14th on a stupid ass Valentine’s Day gift will essentially make you a John pathetically trying to please that special little prostitute in your life. Be a man, a real man, and go on strike this Valentine’s Day. I know I will and my bitch will understand or else I will go Ike Turner on her motherfucking ass. Ok, maybe I won’t go that far, but I wouldn’t be with a female if she didn’t know her damn role. While I won’t be spending any money today, I might compromise and watch a chick flick with my significant other, as long as a handjob is provided during the duration of the movie that is.

In a move that is bound to cause an argument in my household, on February 15th I will be dropping $350 on a First Edition PlayStation Vita. I know what you’re thinking, I’m an inconsiderate asshole and a heartless bastard and you may be right, but have you seen the Vita in action? It’s fucking amazing. It’s like a little portable PS3. It has a front touchscreen, a rear touch panel, front and back cameras, it can Remote Play PS3 games and comes in both Wi-Fi and 3G models. The Vita officially comes out on February 22nd, but the First Edition Bundle allows me to pick this up a full week before it comes out. It also comes with a free Vita game, a limited edition case, a free month of 3G which I probably won’t use, a free PSN game voucher, which I plan on getting Escape Plan with, and a 4GB memory card. I’m also picking up Uncharted Golden Abyss which will end up bringing the total up to a hefty $400, but that’s ok because by skipping Valentine’s Day, I will have more than enough money to splurge on myself. See, there’s a method to my madness after all.

  1. Zack Ryder
    February 14, 2012 at 8:23 am

    WWWYKI. I can’t believe what Eve did to me bro. I brought her a box of chocolates and roses and she just turns around and breaks my heart by kissing John Cena? I thought Cena was my friend bro. I’m so hurt right now. Not only do I have a broken heart, but I think Kane broke every bone in my body last night bro. Today is not a good day for me. Fuck Valentine’s Day.

    • Capt. Smooth
      February 14, 2012 at 7:33 pm

      Zack, did Cena “embrace the date”?

  2. Rob
    February 14, 2012 at 8:54 am

    No disrespect J, but I just don’t understand why girls always go after the assholes while us good guys get overlooked. I don’t think it’s wrong to show the one you love that you care about them by buying them things on a day that is meant for romance. If you have any tips on how to get girls and keep them then you should share it with us because I can’t see how any woman would want to have sex let alone be in a serious relationship with someone that has your type of attitude.

    • February 15, 2012 at 6:24 am

      Lmmfao. It’s a gift and a curse. I wasn’t always this way, but if you deal with enough bitches that take advantage of your kindness, you start to change your ways in order to adapt.

  3. Relationship Expert
    February 14, 2012 at 11:33 am

    Whatever JCITY say, just do the opposite.

  4. Stephen
    February 14, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    What’s the matter JCITY? Do you not have anyone to love you on Valentine’s Day? You’re pathetic.

    • February 15, 2012 at 6:28 am

      You’re right. Your mom won’t return any of my emails. That BITCH!!!!

  5. February 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    I think Kane embraced your hate too much!

    • February 15, 2012 at 6:29 am

      Lol, tell me about it. Poor Zack.

      • Capt. Smooth
        February 15, 2012 at 11:17 am

        Props to him for taking that spot. Damn!

  6. Lee
    February 14, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    Lol, no love for JCITY today. That’s what happens when you go out of your way to piss people off.

  7. Capt. Smooth
    February 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    Valentine’s day is great! When you pass out candy, women get extra flirty. It’s fun.

    • February 15, 2012 at 6:31 am

      Ruphies are not candy. Just saying.

      • Capt. Smooth
        February 15, 2012 at 11:17 am

        No, actual candy. Ladies get horny as hell!

        • February 15, 2012 at 12:40 pm

          Lmao. Only little kids get horny for candy. At least I used to. Don’t judge me,

          • Capt. Smooth
            February 15, 2012 at 6:06 pm

            Putting the “suck” in sucker I see. lol

            • February 16, 2012 at 4:40 am

              No. I prefer chocolates. Kitkats, Butterfingers, Snickers and Reese’s motherfucking Pieces.

              • Capt. Smooth
                February 16, 2012 at 8:09 am

                Getting me hungry.

  8. February 14, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    Today is the one year anniversary of The Rock’s return to the WWE…wow one year already.

  9. February 14, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    Three years ago, I hid in my girlfriend’s apartment with like a 10 foot teddy bear on Valentines Day. I thought to myself, ‘Oh golly gee Alan bro, she’ll fall in love with you after this!” When she walked in, she was holding hands with another dude (Her cousin). And Alan bro don’t play that incest game. For this reason, I will forever hate Valentines Day.

    • February 15, 2012 at 6:35 am

      LMMFAO. Damn. I know girls that claim to have cousins, but those cousins are just the guy on the side. I know, I’ve been the “cousin” a few times before.

  10. What the hell is wrong with you?
    February 15, 2012 at 2:18 am

    You would spend $400 on yourself, but can’t buy your girl some flowers or a card that would more than likely come out to be under $20? You’re a jerk and I hope you die a lonely old man.

    • February 15, 2012 at 6:37 am

      It’s not about money. It’s about time. You can make someone feel special without spending a dime. I did, so I don’t see how I’m a jerk. You’re probably mad cause I got pussy on Valentine’s Day while you more than likely jerked off.

  11. Case
    February 16, 2012 at 7:20 am

    Pimp shit.

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