Home > Smash Or Pass, THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ > Smash Or Pass: Would You Have Sex With These Women?

Smash Or Pass: Would You Have Sex With These Women?

Simmer down Capt. Smooth, this post hasn't even started yet. Jeez!

Smash Or Pass: Would You Have Sex With These Women?

by THE INFAMOUS JCITY™

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if that’s really the case then there is no such thing as an ugly person. While some people may be considered sexier/uglier by the general public, we are all beautiful to someone. With that being said, I have gathered a few of the sexiest women known to man and ask you; Would you Smash or Pass? Let’s begin. 

If you’re a fan of this site, chances are you’re also a huge wrestling fan. Not too many girls are into guys who like wrestling though, so this makes it hard for some of you to get laid. It makes wrestling feel taboo and instead of just being yourself and enjoying our chosen genre of entertainment out in the open with your significant other, you hide your love of wrestling right next to all the dirty filthy porn you keep tucked away in the back of your closet. Most wrestling fans I’ve talked to when it comes to women wish they could find someone who understood their passion and instead of judging them for it, would just sit back and enjoy watching it with them. Enter Stingfan69, a woman who is obsessed with Impact Wrestling’s Sting and has watched wrestling for the majority of her life. Not only would she suck your cock, but she could beat you at wrestling trivia, how hot is that?

Have you ever thought to yourself; Hey, what ever happened to that Shaman’s Harvest fellow that did all those cool interviews and won the 2011 Writer of the Year award? Then you’re in luck because I know what he’s been up to lately. He’s shacking up with this incredible sexy lady. Some might say that she needs to brush her teeth and pluck her goddamn eyebrows, but I think it adds to her character. I think she’s the perfect woman for Shaman. He likes wrestling, she has Santino Marella eyebrows circa 2008 and a near identical set of Snitsky’s teeth. I would like to wish the new couple the best in their endeavours and hope to be invited to their wedding one day.

LOOK AT THOSE TITS!!! Now that is what I call a rack! The great thing about her tits is that when she takes off her top they drop down to her knees like cow utters, which means THEY ONLY GET BIGGER!!! What straight man doesn’t like a pair of big tits? Not only that, but this sexy beast knows how to catch her man’s eyes by dressing provocatively. The way those Daisy Dukes hug her hips and compliment her curvaceous body make her look extremely sexy. Plus you can’t go wrong with a woman who would wash your car with a smile on her face. When all else fails you can at least take comfort in knowing that she is an expert when it comes to watering your hose, if you know what I mean.

One night with this Oriental hottie will change your life forever. Not only will she love you long time, but she guaran-damn-tees you will always have a happy ending. She’s also Asian which means the penises she has become accustomed to have been way below average so no matter your cock size you will always have a huge dick in her eyes and she will make you feel like more of a man by complimenting you on your manhood.  She’s also a woman of simple taste and is easy to please, just make sure you take off your shoes before you enter her house or get karate chopped in the nuts.

This monstrosity bodacious babe is the definition of beautiful and to really bring out her best features she decided to get some work done on her face. The plastic surgery was a success as it really brings out her eyes and those highly kissable lips are the envy of females (and transgendered men) all over the world. This hideous creature woman is a wonderful work of art and shouldn’t be left in the sun for long periods of time because her face would melt off even though it looks like it already has should be treated as such.

Jesus titty fucking Christ, look at DAT ASS!!!! There is nothing better than being behind such a massive ass, drilling away like you’re in the Middle East looking for oil. This sexy thing is never afraid to show you her goods and can back that ass up with the best of them. She enjoys being your own personal sex slave and all she asks in return is that you keep her fridge filled of foods that are high in cholesterol. Nice trade-off if you ask me, considering that you will never find a bubble butt as plentiful as hers. She also enjoys sitting on faces, so if that’s your thing then send me your personal information in an email (don’t send me an email) and I will set you up with the experience of a lifetime.

Move over Mark Henry, this mocha mama is the true definition of Sexual Chocolate. She has a thick stallion type body meant to be ridden into the sunset with an incredible pair of Milk Duds sitting on her chest. This dark chocolate princess also has an eye for fashion as her undergarments and accessories always match for your enjoyment. Would you love to take off her pink panties with your teeth and taste her chocolaty goodness for yourself? I bet you would. If you can overlook the fact that this bitch looks like The Notorious B.I.G in drag, you will find a sweet lady that is also a freak in the sheets and wants nothing more than to be loved. Is that too much to ask for?

This overweight lover has a great personality and loves the cock to cook. What man wouldn’t want to come home to a hot meal, followed by some hot sexual satisfaction from such a sexy beast? Not only would she give you everything she has to please you, but she has more to give than the average woman. More chins, rolls, back boobs and diabetes cushion for the push in never hurt anyone.

Be the envy of all your friends with this extremely ashy and stylish woman by your side. If ashy isn’t your thing, that can be easily taken care of with a load to the face some lotion, so don’t you worry about that. Her hair will always be the topic of discussion, but that’s not all she has to offer. She loves to be romanced and enjoys long walks on the beach and cuddling. She also has the ability to change her hair color like a chameleon in order to match her clothes so she will never embarrass you in public by looking tacky. Plus he also has dick sucking lips that she loves to put to use so how can you go wrong by making her your girl?

Last, but certainly not least, we have the mother of THE INFAMOUS JCITY’s own commentator, Stephen. Doesn’t she look amazing? I would fuck this bitch all night long and all I would need to hit that would be a massive amount of cocaine and Jack Daniels because let’s face it, I would have to be fucked up beyond belief to even consider having sex with this broad. I’m sure she would give it up easy for a little Crystal Meth and a pack of Malboros since she’s a cheap drugged up prostitute. Did you know Stephen’s mom hasn’t been laid in over 5 years? The bitch can’t give away the pussy and as a result poor little Stephen hasn’t had a father figure in his life for as long as he could remember. His real dad abandoned him when he was a child and to vent his anger and frustrations, Stephen comes on the Internet to attack me on a consistent basis. I understand his pain and thus haven’t banned him and to do him a solid I included his mother in this nice little article because someone, somewhere, would fuck her brains out, and I would like to be the one that finds that person so Stephen and his mother can live happily ever after. If it helps, I have an exclusive picture of her freshly shaved pussy in order to speed up the process since she’s really desperate for some dick:

Oh damn. I don’t think there’s enough cocaine or Jack Daniels in the world for me to stick my dick in such a hideous looking pussy. I guess there’s no hope for that bitch. Sorry Stephen, I tried.

_________

So, did any of these sexy ladies make you horny? Which one would you have sex with if given the opportunity? Sound off in the comments and thanks for reading.

*Fades2Black*

  1. Rob
    February 15, 2012 at 10:27 am

    Ha! I don’t think Stephen is going to like this too much.

    • February 15, 2012 at 12:39 pm

      There’s nothing he could do about it but cry like a bitch. That should be fun to see.

  2. Capt. Smooth
    February 15, 2012 at 11:20 am

    How’d you get that pic of me at the top? lol

  3. Anon
    February 15, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    This was not funny at all. Go back to writing about wrestling. At least that was somewhat entertaining since I could just tune out your egotistical rants and focus on the wrestling.

    • February 15, 2012 at 12:43 pm

      Thank you for your expertise in comedy writing. How would I manage without you? And you telling me to write about wrestling only makes me NOT want to write about wrestling since I see no need to go out of my way to please you. Maybe if you weren’t such a negative prick I might, but no.

  4. Anon
    February 15, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    I want to smash your face in then pass on ever reading your crap again.

  5. Stephen
    February 15, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    So now you’re going to attack people that support you? I demand an apology and you need to go on record and tell the damn truth. That is not my mother. I don’t know why you would feel the need to attack me. I never did anything to you. You’re an immature asshole and this was unwarrented. You’re nothing but a bully and I can’t wait until this site gets shut down.

    • February 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm

      Lmmfao. you come on here and attack me on a consistent basis for no reason other than to be an annoying asshole so it’s fucking hilarious how you’re trying to make yourself the victim in this situation.

      • Anon
        February 15, 2012 at 4:08 pm

        Kind of like looking in a mirror huh?

    • Devastating David
      February 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm

      Dont lie Stephen! That is your mom. I saw you coming out of Walmart with her.

      • Capt. Smooth
        February 15, 2012 at 6:08 pm

        If this turn into a bunch of “your mama” jokes, I’m gonna laugh my ass off.

      • February 16, 2012 at 4:42 am

        Lmmfao.

        • Capt. Smooth
          February 16, 2012 at 8:11 am

          Best one was “Your mama sucks so much dick, she’s got blisters in her mouth!”.

  6. February 15, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    Ahaha, that Stephen diss had me rolling on the floor laughing! Are you dudes sure this isn’t TheRealShyt? Because it feels just like it, lololol!

    • February 16, 2012 at 4:56 am

      Only one thing is missing TITS OR GTFO!!! a chatbox, but WordPress is hating hard and won’t let me embed on unless I pay $100 to switch this over to their self hosted version of WordPress. Fucking assholes. Whatever, I’m about to play my brand new PlayStation Vita!

  7. February 16, 2012 at 4:51 am

    Capt. Smooth :

    If this turn into a bunch of “your mama” jokes, I’m gonna laugh my ass off.

    Stephen’s mother is such a cumslut that she broke into a sperm bank just so she could drink up all the samples.

    Stephen’s mother is so poor when she heard about The Last Supper she thought she ran out of foodstamps.

    Stephen’s mother is so dumb… that’s all I got, she’s dumb. Has been ever since skipped out on having Stephen aborted.

    • February 16, 2012 at 5:46 am

      lmao

      • Capt. Smooth
        February 16, 2012 at 8:13 am

        I just started it.

    • Devastating David
      February 16, 2012 at 2:20 pm

      Stephens mom is so dumb she took him to a Clippers game to get a haircut.
      Stephens mom is so poor she stole a free sample.

  8. February 16, 2012 at 5:46 am

    I can safely say..pass. haha

  9. Case
    February 16, 2012 at 7:12 am

    Damn Stephen’s mother has one ugly pussy.

  10. February 16, 2012 at 8:28 am

    I want to pop the pimple on the forehead of the 2nd woman.

  11. Stephen
    February 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    This site sucks and is a failure. Fuck all of you. I never did anything to anyone and I don’t deserve to be bullied like this. All of you are fags. JCITY I demand a damn apology or I will sue you for slander. Don’t test me.

    • Devastating David
      February 16, 2012 at 3:51 pm

      Why don’t you just choke on a bag of dicks. Hey that’s kinda funny since your moms an old bag with a dick.

      • February 16, 2012 at 7:44 pm

        Lmmfao. The butthurt is strong with Stephanie, I’m sure you can get some ointment for that.

        • Devastating David
          February 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

          Lol

  12. February 16, 2012 at 6:38 pm

    Stephen :
    This site sucks and is a failure. Fuck all of you. I never did anything to anyone and I don’t deserve to be bullied like this. All of you are fags. JCITY I demand a damn apology or I will sue you for slander. Don’t test me.

    You need to read up on your law, Steph. Slander is spoken, not written.

  13. February 16, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    I am not with the unibrow lady either. I’m not even sure half of these people are women.

    • February 16, 2012 at 7:46 pm

      Lmmfao. So no wedding?

      • February 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

        Well, let’s jump to conclusions. A little proactive, eyebrow trimmer, a shower, and tooth paste, and we may have something here.

        • February 16, 2012 at 10:12 pm

          Can I be the best dude? Ahahaha.

  14. Anon
    February 16, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    Im pretty sure Stephen is just another one of J Shitty’s multiple personalities.

    • February 16, 2012 at 7:49 pm

      First of all it’s THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ to you, second, when have I ever had multiple personalities other then the time I wrote as a fat blue ball’d virgin (ie YOU)? Oh and I know that’s you LT. Your IP address gave you away 🙂

      • Capt. Smooth
        February 16, 2012 at 10:45 pm

        spy?

    • Stephen
      February 19, 2012 at 9:25 am

      JCITY wishes he has half the man I am. For that matter, all of you idiots wish it too. I’m far too superior to even assosiate with you peons. I only visit this site to see it fail. J sucks as a writers and I’m sure he sucks at life too, just like every single one of you reading this right now.

      • Capt. Smooth
        February 19, 2012 at 10:33 am

        Guys, I think he means business!

  15. February 18, 2012 at 10:31 am

    How’s your eye J?

    • Capt. Smooth
      February 18, 2012 at 11:21 am

      Shouldn’t it be be “How’s your I, J?”?

      • February 18, 2012 at 12:14 pm

        haha creative 😛

        • Capt. Smooth
          February 18, 2012 at 3:13 pm

          Not really. Just a bad pun. lol

  16. Stephen
    February 19, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    JCITY knows I’m half a man. For that matter, all of you powerful and attractive people know it too. I’m far too mentally ill to even spell “assosiate” correcty, God ii’m a peon. I only visit this site to see read Shaman’s interviews. J sucks as a decorator and I’m sure he sucks at modern dance too (2 areas where I excel), I like every single one of you reading this right now, in a kinky sort of way.

    • Devastating David
      February 20, 2012 at 12:49 am

      Everyone knows you’re half the man your mom is. Stupid bitch!

  17. Stephen
    February 20, 2012 at 10:14 am

    Life sucks and I’m a failure. I want to fuck all of you. I did a lot to everyone and I deserve to be bullied like this. Saying the word “fag” helps me fit in. JCITY I demand a damn photo op with you or I will sue you for not being my friend. Don’t test me, I always cried during tests in school.

  18. Stephen
    February 20, 2012 at 11:29 am

    So now you’re going to attack people who don’t support you? I demand a guys night out with you and you need to go on record and tell the damn truth. That is not my mother, it’s my ass. I don’t know why you would feel the need to attack me. I never did anything to you except called you a fag and constantly put you down. I’m an immature asshole and this comment was unwarrented. You’re nothing but my prime source of entertainment and I can’t wait until this site gets shut down, maybe then the girl who works the register beside me will finally take pitty on me.

    Please call,
    Your friend forever,
    Stephen

  19. Rob
    February 20, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    Damn, Stephen got owned. Long time coming if you ask me. I always hated that douche.

    • Stephen
      February 20, 2012 at 1:09 pm

      You’d think someone with such a strong, sentual, and masculine name would be man enough to stick up for someone like me. Guess not, Rob.

      Let’s go clubbing sometime Rob, if JCITY wants to be a jerk and not return my calls, fine.

  20. Stephen
    February 20, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    I see someone is impersonating me like the no life loser they are. Pathetic.

    • Stephen
      February 20, 2012 at 3:36 pm

      No, wait. I’m not going to just back out now and do the usual impersonating act. That’s the exact same thing as when I sent that girl creepy love letters in forth grade and she told her mom. Saying you were impersonated never works. I am who I am and I say what I mean, just like JCITY.

  21. Alan
    February 20, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    Ahaha, Stephen dude is a homosexual!

    • Stephen
      February 20, 2012 at 3:37 pm

      WHAT?!?! No I’m not! You’re the fags! Leave me alone!

  22. Capt. Smooth
    February 20, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Okay, I’m confused. Am I on Punked?

  23. Stephen
    February 20, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    I wish you would all just accept me as an equal commenter.

  24. Crazy Train
    February 20, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    I’m a very confused right now, yet very intrigued and would like to know more about this Stephen character. Can someone please do an article devoted to the “Many Faces of Stephen”. I’m sure it would be a hit.

    • Stephen
      February 20, 2012 at 5:30 pm

      How about me and you get to know each other over chopped salad and extra virgin martinis? Say tomorrow, noonish?

      Then the next day we can have just regular martini’s. 😉

  25. Stephen
    February 20, 2012 at 5:37 pm

    No! I didn’t mean to say that. When’s JCITY going to post more tits? I hope this site fails!

  26. Capt. Smooth
    February 20, 2012 at 7:17 pm

    “Stephen” is like Agent Smith from The Matrix.

    • Stephen
      February 20, 2012 at 10:41 pm

      Shut up and kiss me.

      • Capt. Smooth
        February 21, 2012 at 5:46 am

        Not my type.

  27. Alan
    February 21, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    Question for you dudes: Is the WWE trying to be like TMZ now?

    Ahaha, because I saw this video where they were like walking around and they had a camera all up is the wrastlin’ dude’s face and I was all like, ‘This is just like TMZ!’ ahaha.

  28. February 21, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    I think JCITY went missing again. Let the rumors begin.

  29. Alan
    February 21, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    Nah, it’s too early to start that, ahaha. He has only be gone for like a week. He might be just taking some time off or something, lololol.

  30. February 22, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    Stephen :

    I see someone is impersonating me like the no life loser they are. Pathetic.

    You’re right and while I’ve had fun giving your hating ass a dose of your own medicine, I don’t condone impersonations or the usage of someone’s name in a degrading way in someone else’s screen name. It’s the one thing I’m firmly against in the comment section and it’s worse than the initial trolling. If you must make fun of Stephanie do it under your name or just make up a new one if you wish to remain anonymous, but cut it out with the impersonations. All it does is confuse people and have my email fill up with people asking me why am I impersonating someone when I haven’t even been online in days. Don’t be a bully, B A Damn Star… fuck!

  31. Capt. Smooth
    February 25, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    Update: Went to the emergency room early Wed. with pain in my back and down my right leg. Nothing is broken. Probably a pinched nerve. Radiculopathy(I think I’m spelling it right.) is what I’ve been diagnosed with. It comes with age. Hurts to sit down too long, so I can’t be on the computer too much. My mom’s had a pincked nerve for the past 6 months and she said it can be worse than labor pains. When/if I’m doing okay, I’ll be back. Peace.

    • February 26, 2012 at 9:50 pm

      I hate to hear that man. Get better soon if not make sure they give you lots and lots of drugs for the pain and see if you can get on disability if the nerve damage is too extensive it interferes with your job.

      • Capt. Smooth
        February 27, 2012 at 5:54 am

        Thanks! I go back to the doctor in a couple of weeks. He might want an MRI, physical therapy, or even surgery could be in the cards. My sister went through the same thing last year and is okay, so I hope I am too.

        • February 27, 2012 at 4:52 pm

          Sounds crazy. So this is heredity? Or are all of you just pulling nerves out of nowhere in comedic fashion?

          • Capt. Smooth
            February 28, 2012 at 5:39 am

            I don’t know what the fuck is going on. If this keeps up, they’ll have to do something. Can’t even drive. Luckily my mother, my cousin, and I all live on the same street.

            • February 28, 2012 at 8:41 am

              You are now the anti-Rock…you say you are going away but you are still here! Just kidding…get well soon.

              • Capt. Smooth
                February 29, 2012 at 5:43 am

                LOL!!! Thanks!

                And it’s that I can’t sit for too long so I won’t be on quite as much, plus I don’t know when/if I’d have to quit for a while.

  32. LT
    February 27, 2012 at 6:42 pm

    I think its funny that anytime somebody insults you, you assume its me. I havent been here in months. Good luck with your website, i am enjoying real life sucess, maybe you will too one day.

    • February 28, 2012 at 11:57 pm

      IPs match so shut the fuck up and I hardly consider moving out of your mother’s basement at the age of 36 to be any type of accomplishment, but congratulations nonetheless.

      • Capt. Smooth
        February 29, 2012 at 5:46 am

        Not to defend LT, but the whole “mother’s basement” thing is losing it’s stigma. Roughly a third of all people ages 18 to 36 still live at home. That’s what happens when you have wages stagnant for 30 years.

        • February 29, 2012 at 3:01 pm

          So a nation full of losers makes one losers plight ok? I think not. I’ve been on my own since I was 15 so there is no excuse for anyone.

          • Capt. Smooth
            February 29, 2012 at 6:43 pm

            I don’t think it’s a nation of “losers”. It’s a systemic problem for most people, not a personal problem when it comes to the wage issue.

            • February 29, 2012 at 7:17 pm

              There’s plenty of ways to get around it. If a 15 year old can do it there is no excuse for 30 year old freeloaders. People are just lazy now a days.

              • Capt. Smooth
                March 1, 2012 at 5:43 am

                No, they don’t get paid enough. All the money is going to the top. Things have changed. And believe it or not, people in the U.S.A. work more than any other country. We’re the only industrialized country that doesn’t guarantee sick days, so people have to work to get by, but even that is not enough. We change people so they fit into fucked up systems, but don’t change the systems so they actually fit people.

                • March 2, 2012 at 5:22 am

                  There’s plenty of ways to get around those issues. I know what you’re saying, but when there’s a will, there’s a way.

                  • Capt. Smooth
                    March 2, 2012 at 5:50 am

                    More cliches. We’ve been fucked over for 30 years. The have-nots need to stop fighting among themselves and help change this. It didn’t happen overnight. It was a PR move started in the early to mid 1970’s that distorted facts about race, class, sexual orientation, etc. in order to get what they wanted and it has worked like a charm. In the 1950’s to the 1970’s, it was common for a single person to support a family with one job. It changed in the 70’s to the 90’s where it took both parents to support a family. Now, one job isn’t guaranteed to support one person! It’s insane.(and not in the membrane)

  33. Stephen
    February 28, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    I’m still waiting for an apology for the slander and the impersonations. Don’t make me take you to court.

  34. February 28, 2012 at 11:53 pm

  35. lawn13mower13man@yahoo.com
    February 29, 2012 at 2:52 am

    THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ :
    IPs match so shut the fuck up and I hardly consider moving out of your mother’s basement at the age of 36 to be any type of accomplishment, but congratulations nonetheless.

    maybe you should actually check them, i am not even here to troll no more. same 3 people here anyways, no point. you were once an admirable foe, but now this website is just sad. i guess if it is easier for you to try and accept that its just one person that hates you than fine, but straight up i have hardly been here since the new year. spin that however you want.

    • February 29, 2012 at 3:06 pm

      Yawn. Always the same insults with you. Boring shit. I can run down the numbers once again, but there’s no point since you’re a fucking retard with no understanding of how things work. Fuck off and die already. Thanks.

      Lmmfao at your dumbass putting the email where your name goes. What an idiot…

      Ladies and gentlemen I present to you LT in the flesh:

  36. Rob
    February 29, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    Oh my god, I can’t stop laughing. That’s a perfect picture for LT and Stephen.

  37. Capt. Smooth
    March 2, 2012 at 6:30 am

    THE INFAMOUS JCITY™ :
    There’s other ways around it. Trust me.

    I’m sure, but that seriously lowers the standard for society. We are more powerful when united. When everybody is left to their own devices, we’re not as much of a threat to the powerful and they know this.

    • March 2, 2012 at 7:35 pm

      Standards have been on a steady decline since the 1950’s.

      • Capt. Smooth
        March 3, 2012 at 9:41 am

        And we need to do something about it. Instead of fighting among ourselves over small shit, but that’s hard to do when whoever controls the info also controls policy.

        • March 3, 2012 at 7:28 pm

          Things are going to get a whole hell of alot worse before they ever get better. This nation was built upon corruption, murder and slavery, so maybe we’re just expecting too much.

          • Capt. Smooth
            March 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

            The purpose of each generation is to make the next one’s life better. We are the first one in U.S. history to not get that. Either you have people work multiple jobs(even thought there aren’t many) or you have more kids stay at home(it’s fairly common in other countries) to help take care of their parents who are getting older. I’m even seeing a rise in “clustering” where you would have a group of 10 to 20 people of all ages live in mansions to help support each other, because more aren’t able to support themselves.

  1. February 29, 2012 at 6:44 am

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