Posts Tagged ‘Wrestlemania 28’

Brock Lesnar Returns To WWE On Monday Night RAW The Night After WrestleMania 28 And Hits John Cena With A MotherFuckin’ F5 4/2/12

Brock Lesnar Returns To WWE On Monday Night RAW The Night After WrestleMania 28 And Hits John Cena With A MotherFuckin’ F5 4/2/12


I was going to write about my wild and crazy (ie I was drunker than CM Punk swimming in a pool of Jack Daniels) WrestleMania 28 experience, but at this point, that shit is irrelevant as fuck because BROCK LESNAR IS BACK IN THE WWE!!!! Now, if you’re a smarky little asshole who’s addicted to the news and rumors provided by the “dirtsheets”, then I’m pretty sure you’ve all read the rumors this past weekend involving Brock Lesnar signing a one-year WWE contract just in time for him to make a WrestleMania 28 appearance. As we all know, that didn’t happen, which led me to believe that the rumor was just some asshole’s super elaborate April Fool’s prank meant to fool the “know it all” wrestling marks in the IWC. Turns out, the rumor is now a reality as Brock Lesnar – to the delight of the fans- made his return to the company that undoubtedly made him a household name. So, did Lesnar cut a promo to address the fans? Did he try to pander to the crowd asking for forgiveness for leaving the WWE for a failed career in the NFL and a lucrative one in the UFC, where he reigned as champion before everybody started knocking him the fuck out? No. Lesnar made his return by hitting John Cena with his F5 finisher as RAW went off the air. Read more…

This Be A Wrestle Fuckin’ Mania 28 PPV Preview… BITCH!!!!!!

This Be A Wrestle Fuckin’ Mania 28 PPV Preview… BITCH!!!!!!


After taking a big warm creamy shit all over the memory of Alan/Hell Gator and uppercutting the resurrection of the shittiest website known to man, XRWB, straight to the depths of hell (while taking a piss on the brand the whole time it plunged into its new fiery home) it’s time to get back to your regularly scheduled program. If you learned anything from that little site distraction it should be that you really don’t want to fucking piss me the fuck off. All that’s gonna happen is that I’m going to end up taking your ass to school and then I’m gonna to embarrass your ass by pulling off a Columbine type massacre up in this bitch. Fuck all that though, that’s the past and this is the motherfuckin’ present, and in the present I have to deal with motherfuckers asking me why I haven’t had any WrestleMania 28 related coverage on the site.

For starters, I’m not a fucking WWE hype machine. If they can’t do a good job in selling me on ordering WrestleMania 28 on April 1st then why the fuck should I care about the event? There’s plenty of sites out there covering the PPV, even going as far as having WrestleMania themed months and/or WrestleMania Week, like some groupie ass bitches, so why are people harassing me for MY thoughts on the PPV? Fuck it though, y’all want WrestleMania, I’m going to give y’all bitches Wrestle Fuckin’ Mania so you motherfuckers can stop flooding my motherfucking email asking me stupid WrestleMania 28 related bullshit. Be warned, I really don’t feel like writing about stupid ass wrestling right now, so I’m just going to reach deep down in the crevice of my asscrack and pull out a WrestleMania 28 preview (proverbially speaking of course) and if it doesn’t meet your precious high standards of IWC literature then fuck you very much bitch. Let’s get this motherfucker started, shall we? #Hypothetical…

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WrestleMania 28 Match Preview: Team Johnny vs Team Teddy by Shaman’s Harvest

WrestleMania 28 Match Preview: Team Johnny vs Team Teddy by Shaman’s Harvest


Ok, so how has everyone been doing? I know I haven’t been around too much lately, but neither has any other writer on this site, and that’s basically because I’ve been bored with wrestling; especially Smackdown, to the point where I only watch it so I can tweet Booker T’s FAVE FIVE to all 840 of my adoring fans, but honestly, if I can be serious for a moment, this site has gone up in flames faster than the fucking Hindenburg, something has to be done before JCITY’s heart gives out or his liver fails from all the booze and Mass Effect 3. So I decided that it’s Wrestlemania season and it’s time to get some content back up. Hopefully JCITY will get in the Wrestlemania mood soon and come up with some Rock trashing columns. Read more…

Fuck You WWE… Just… FUCK YOU!!!

Fuck You WWE… Just… FUCK YOU!!!


It all started the Friday before the Elimination Chamber PPV. It was announced that Randy Orton suffered a concussion at the hands of the greatest wrestler to grace the Smackdown roster this decade, Daniel Bryan, and had to relinquish his spot in the Smackdown Elimination Chamber for the World Heavyweight Championship. A 20 Man Battle Royal ensued and to my dismay, Santino Marella emerged victorious and earned himself a chance to win a major championship in the WWE on The Road To WrestleMania. To say I was shocked, disgusted and disappointed would be an understatement. Before that episode of Smackdown aired I had an Elimination Chamber Preview all set up to be published. I wanted to watch Smackdown though so I could formula an opinion on its Chamber Match, but as soon as Santino won, I scrapped the preview completely. WWE had let me down. Read more…

THE INFAMOUS Wrestling News Wire: The Fairy Is At It Again

THE INFAMOUS Wrestling News Wire: The Fairy Is At It Again 


It looks like The Fairy Rock is talking his bullshit again. You see, at a recent show in Australia, John Cena insinuated what the whole WWE Universe should know by now, that The Rock is a goddamn liar and you shouldn’t take anything he says serious because the man clearly talks out of his steroid infused anus. So yea, The Rock gets wind of John Cena’s “BITCH ASS” rant and basically cuts a promo on Cena and damn it was good. Doesn’t change the fact that this motherfucker is a goddamn liar, but The Rock still has the “IT” factor that makes him, or made him, one of the ALL TIME GREATS. Before I break this down, break this down down, let’s digest The Rock’s John Cena diss video and see what kinda analysis ends up in the proverbial crapper. Digesting… digesting… serious gas out my ass and BOOM here we go.

*Click Here For Fart Noises*

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How I Would Book It- John Cena’s Heel Turn by Tony Kegger

[Editors Note: This is the third installment of “How I Would Book It” written by Tony Kegger. Tony, like myself and Kieran, also entered the TJR Writers Search and didn’t make the final cut, but fret not, because even in defeat, we persevere and get bigger. We will not be denied. Our voices will be heard the world over.  Tony Kegger has already booked the WWE Extreme Rules PPV and the WWE Draft and if I can say so myself, he does so very eloquently. For the previous editions of “How I Would Book It” you can click here.  I’m starting to feel like Michael Buffer doing these damn introductions so it’s time for me to GTFO and shine that spotlight on Tony Kegger. Enjoy.]

Welcome to another addition of How I Would Book It. This time I am focusing on a very controversial topic…..John Cena.  Cena is considered THE top superstar in the WWE. He blows the roof off of nearly every building he performs in, but he is not loved by all. His character could use a little bit of a change and the best way to change a good guy’s character is to turn him into a heel. Here is how I would book John Cena’s heel turn.

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